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Which is more realistic? Which is more realistic?

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Unread 03-09-2011, 06:32 AM
Which is more realistic?

My husband hates my dads house.its smoky and its loud and they sometimes say stuff that'd inappropriate around the kids (they try to watch it now though)

Anyway would it be more realistic to recover there where I would have help with my kids for at least the first week? My kids are 5 and 2 and a handful if its just me.our should I do what hubby says and suck it up and do it at home with just the kids and me?

after i had my cesarean with my daughter we stayed there at my dads only because we had no heater while it was being fixed.and it was heaven. But I know hubby hates it there so I dont know if its fair to force him.
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Unread 03-09-2011, 06:45 AM
Re: Which is more realistic?

Just my opinion, sorry about the soapbox here for a moment
But it's not fair for him to force you to have to do this without the help your dad could provide! ; You said it was heaven staying with them after your daughter was born. That right there tells me they'd be able to help you A LOT, and give you the piece of mind and time to recover by helping watch the kids. I think that he should just suck it up and do what's right for you, instead of making you stay home without the support you'd get with your dad.

O.k. I'll put the soap box away.   Either way I hope you have an easy surgery and short recovery. I just went through the same surgery you did. (only 6 days post-op) And I'm doing o.k. Wishing you all the best for your healing.
Unread 03-09-2011, 06:57 AM
Re: Which is more realistic?

Haha. Yeah my hubby just tends to be a little bit controlling.thats just him (knew it before we got married)and usually I just sit and take it.because I'm that type.i need to be told what needs to be done and as long as he gets the bills paid I'm fine with that.but lately I've been challenging it a bit more.

Anyway, past the ramble.i really do think going to my dads where I have my dad, stepmom,stepsis, and other family friends that are there will help immensely.i guess he could just stay at home for the week and work while I stay at my dads with the kids.
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Unread 03-09-2011, 07:10 AM
Re: Which is more realistic?

I was thinking of that option as I was typing. If you're both o.k. being apart for a week that seems like a great option. He's where he'll be more comfortable and so will you. I think the worst part is just the first week (I hope. Jury still out on that one for me.) By then you'll be more able to be up and about, even if you'll need more help with making sure the kids and you are taken care of.
Unread 03-09-2011, 07:26 AM
Re: Which is more realistic?

I think it would be okay.i mean really he sleeps till 10 our 11 each day then he leaves at 2 for work and doesn't get home til 9 where the kids and I are usually in bed.the biggest problem is we would miss church probably and he would have a conniption over that.i dont know.i think when he wakes up we will discuss it and figure it out.hes under the impression as long as I can sit down wherever we go that I should be fine.he seems to have forgotten my cesarean.He has us planning on going to his cousins going away party 3 days after surgery.then our church parenting class that night, then church the next morning.i think hes being too ambitious.i told him pick one for saturday because I think I'll be too tired for all day.
Unread 03-09-2011, 07:30 AM
Re: Which is more realistic?

Umm what type of surgery are you having? I don't think you're going to be going anywhere 3 days after your surgery. Sorry but your husband needs to get some sort of clue as to what you are going to be going through. Maybe he should go with you to the pre-op consultation
Unread 03-09-2011, 07:51 AM
Re: Which is more realistic?

He will definitely be going.he has went to all of my appointments plus I'm not on the insurance right now so I can't drive so he has to.

He is just thinking about when I had my cesarean.the day w left the hospital we went to walmart to get some last minute stuff and I walked around with him.however he does not know how horrible I felt later.i was trying to be strong woman which I know now was stupid.

Oh and I'm having an abdominal hysterectomy. Ovaries are staying
Unread 03-09-2011, 09:43 AM
Re: Which is more realistic?

I'm having a TAH also. Mine's not until May, but my Dr told me to expect two days at least in the hospital and then to not be doing anything for the next week.

I know everyone is different, but from all the post-op stories I've been reading from people who had a TAH, I'd bet you're not going to be up to a party 3 days post-op.

Maybe consider staying with your dad for a week at least and let them help out. Or is it at all possible for your dad to come stay with you at your house for a week if your husband doesn't like their house?

Unread 03-09-2011, 09:53 AM
Re: Which is more realistic?

Holy cow! Yes- way too ambitious for 3 days out!!! You may be lucky to feel like taking a shower by then. You will likely not feel up to doing any of those things that weekend. Hubby can take kids to the party and to church if it's so important to him- and you can stay home and get some much needed rest- though from the sounds of things, I am guessing he won't go for that idea.

I am 5 weeks post LAVH- a week out my husband had to return to work and I had to get all 3 kids (13, 11 and 6) off to school- and that was hard enough! I could not have kept up with a rambunctious 2 year old at that point. I did not have a C-Section but there have been many women on here who posted that the C-Section was much easier to recover from.

I pray your Doctor is not one who blows off the recovery time and makes it sound like a breeze- further reinforcing your husband's idea that you will be up and ready to party in 72 hours. I hope your Doctor impresses in front of your husband how important rest and recovery is and that you are having extremely major surgery- otherwise, what you say is his controlling nature could put you back in the hospital from overdoing things that he thinks your body is ready for.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you do go to your dad's and get the help you need- for AT LEAST a week.

Take care-

Unread 03-09-2011, 10:03 AM
Re: Which is more realistic?

My hubby really is a great guy.i know I am making him out to sound bad because of the controlling nature but honestly he is not some crazy maniacal man.I'm sure if I tell him the day of that I'm not up to it he would just take the kids and go.in fact that is what I told him to do because I figured the parenting class is more important.but from the sounds of it I won't even want to do that.i guess I'll just see how it goes.i dont want to push myself for sure.i got an infection with my last c section and id hate for it to happen again

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