Scheduled dVH/RALH Emotional Mess ... surgery in 3 weeks (children mentioned) | HysterSisters
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Emotional Mess ... surgery in 3 weeks (children mentioned) Emotional Mess ... surgery in 3 weeks (children mentioned)

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Unread 03-29-2011, 04:13 PM
Emotional Mess ... surgery in 3 weeks (children mentioned)

Hi, my name is Leslie, I am 28 yrs old and I am a HOT EMOTIONAL MESS! I am having the daVinci hyster on April 21. I have been fine, pumped up about finally having this surgery done. I am having the surgery due to extremely heavy periods, so bad I can't leave the house because I bleed through everything. I know, TMI! I'm miserable. I also have early stages of endometriosis.

My husband and I are blessed to have 3 children before I was given the news that this was going to be the best treatment for me. We were done having babies and I was semi-ok with that. Well today, I had lunch with a friend I hadn't talked to in 6 months. We met up and she walked in 27 weeks pregnant which was a surprise to me. By the time we were done I could hardly make it to my car before I was BAWLING.

I haven't cried at all until today and I have been sobbing since our lunch. I guess today the reality set in. I knew we weren't planning on having more children, but in 3 weeks I won't have a choice.

I keep questioning myself if I'm making the right decision, even though I know the surgery is the right choice. My husband has no idea how to help me, he just tries to remind me that I won't be miserable anymore and I won't have to plan everything around my period anymore.

I'm really grateful to have a place to come to like this that I can share what I'm feeling. I'm sure I will have many more posts to come!

Thanks for the support.
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Unread 03-29-2011, 05:05 PM
Re: Emotional Mess ... surgery in 3 weeks (children mentioned)

It's perfectly okay to grieve what will be lost while you celebrate the other side of it. I feel so much healthier after my surgery (Da Vinci, too) that I spend little time grieving over the loss. My uterus was HUGE and making me sick. Like you, I was bleeding out every 3 weeks. I was severely anemic. Ending that meant ending other options.

May you find peace with your decision. Bless you.
Unread 03-29-2011, 05:09 PM
Re: Emotional Mess ... surgery in 3 weeks (children mentioned)

Welcome, Leslie. This process is an emotional roller-coaster for nearly all women, so please know that you're perfectly normal. What really gets to us varies, but losing the ability to have children is very high on the list for many, many women. Deciding not to have (more) children is very different than having it forced on you incidental to doing something else to improve your health. It may take some time, but you'll need to grieve the loss of your ability to have children. It's ok to scream and cry. Really.

There are many women here who went through what you're going through, so know that you aren't alone.

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Unread 03-29-2011, 05:15 PM
Re: Emotional Mess ... surgery in 3 weeks (children mentioned)

Hi Leslie, my name is Tammie...I am 33 and had my surgery was 3/14. I have two boys (7&9) and knew I was done having kids (in fact my husband had a vasectomy last year!!!!) I still felt a loss at knowing that I can never have any more kids (no chance at that girl!) crazy, huh?even tho in all reality I was completely onboard with the "no more kids."One of my best friends is going in tomorrow morning for a planned C-Section! I will be there every step of the way but still feel a little jealous! (I know that if I wouldn't have had the surgery I would have still gotten the "ooohhh its a baby" feeling, but now it is different! This past weekend we spent hours watching baby videos of the boys and I was so is difficult to explain to my husband when I can't even explain it myself! :-) From what I read a lot of women go through this, just know you are not alone! Now on a positive far this is the best choice I have made by having the surgery done! I had fibroids, low ferritin and endo w/chronic lower back pain that was taking me away from sharing & enjoying time with my family! The pain is minimal compared to what I was experiencing before and NO MORE HEAVY PERIODS!!! YIPPPEEE! I think I have learned to cope with this by understanding that things happen for a reason and focusing on the "blessings" I do have. 2 healthy boys...not everyone on here can say that! And now they have their mom back! I hope this helps, I have also found a lot of support on this site. Good luck and keep us posted!
Unread 03-29-2011, 05:22 PM
Re: Emotional Mess ... surgery in 3 weeks (children mentioned)

Hi Leslie, I can relate to the desire to at least have the choice to carry and have another pregnancy! I wanted many children and was blessed with two, but my condition for which I'm having my hysterectomy (April 7th) made intercourse and relationships difficult. My dreams were dashed as far as happy marriage and family in the traditional sense. I feel blessed for the
Healthy daghter and Son I was able to birth later in life. Your feelings are so normal and I do relate! You have a supportive husband that loves you, and sisters out here praying for you. I'm closer to the idea of grandchildren than you, and you will get them! From what I understand, it's even better because you enjoy them without the extra work! You're going to be fine and I will keep my eye out for your posts. God Bless

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