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Not so good news... Not so good news...

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Unread 11-21-2001, 08:48 AM
Not so good news...


I went in for my three-month checkup yesterday, and my CA-125 has gone up to 131 :cry: I had to go in for a CT scan and they found two tiny (less than 1 cm) spots of cancer, one near my colon and one near my spleen. It looks like I'm going to need chemotherapy again. I will either be part of a study protocol where they insert the chemo directly into my abdomen or another type where I will have to take a pill orally for awhile. I feel horrible. I know I should be happy because it was caught so early and the tumors are so small, but I also feel guilty because I've been trying to be encouraging to all of my sisters who are going through this, and now I don't feel very brave myself. I wanted to ask for your prayers as I go through this ordeal again. I have a lot of faith in the Lord and I have my rosary in my pocket right now as I'm typing, but I am still really, really scared. I won't find out if I can be on the study protocol until Monday, so I'm dreading this weekend. Any advice would be helpful.


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Unread 11-21-2001, 09:58 AM
Not so good news...

Of course you're scared! And lots of other emotions too. Don't feel bad for telling us how it is for you. That's what we're here for.

You'll be in my prayers--particularly this weekend when the waiting will be so tough. Vicki too had to go through it twice. I'm sure she'll be along soon, but in the meantime, you can read her story, if you search for her posts on the board. She's on the other side of the experience, and planting roses all over her yard. So hang in there. You too can be there.

Unread 11-21-2001, 10:40 AM
Not so good news...

You are very normal in feeling down and scared! I am just glad that you are allowing all of us here to help you through this! You WILL make it through this okay and you are NOT alone at all!! You have a lot of "sisters" here to help you through it all and we care very much about you!!!!
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Unread 11-21-2001, 10:43 AM
Not so good news...

Oh (((((Cyndy)))))
I am so sorry to hear this. But you are so right, thankfully it is caught very early hon. Please know that you are in my prayers Cyndy. You got through this once, and you will have the strength to do this again.

I know a man who is taking chemo orally, and he is doing really well with it. Its a pill 3 times a day, and he isn't having any side effects beyond being a bit tired. He is diabetic as well, so he is already on quite a few other meds. I pray some day all chemo will be able to be taken this way.

As Trish said, don't feel badly for telling us. We would want you to tell us this news because we are here for you. We are all here for each other Cyndy, good times and the rough times too! Thats what is so special about this site.

Hang in there and let us know what you hear on Monday ok?
Sending big hugs Cyndy!!
Love and Hugs,
Unread 11-21-2001, 11:19 AM
Not so good news...

Dear Cyndy
My heart goes out to you! My thoughts and prayers will be with you all weekend and
then some. This darn cancer is truly a beast. A recurrent beast !!!!!! But you can
and will beat it again. I belong to a gyn cancer support group at my cancer hospital.
Ten of us in the group have ovarian cancer. Of the ten, eight are dealing with a
recurrence. And doing just great!! Some are in a second remission and others are
looking at it as chronic disease. I just know the cure will be found in our life time.
And we will all benefit from it. It seems as though the side effects with second line
treatment are virtually minimal. Most women not even losing hair!
Johns Hopkins has a wonderful online newsletter for ovarian cancer. It is brand new.
I just received it last week via email. A large section deals with recurrent ovarian
cancer. If you are interested let me know, and I will email the letter to you.
Just don't you ever doubt that you can and will do this!!!!
oxoxoxoxokarenann ovcaIII
Unread 11-21-2001, 11:59 AM
Not so good news...

Hi Cyndy, you must be so scared and I am sure that I would be too. I have heard of lots of people with cancer the 2nd time and lots of them have chemo and they are ok now And they have found yours early.
Dont ever feel bad about not being strong or being afraid, thats what we are here for , to help you along that road with our love , hugs and support. Dont ever forget that

Unread 11-21-2001, 01:43 PM
Not so good news...

Dear Cyndy,

My prayers are with you. I am very sorry you have to battle this again. So many of the other sisters are more well spoken than me, ( it's a gift I wasn't blessed with) but I want you to know I'll be praying for you.
Unread 11-21-2001, 06:10 PM
Not so good news...


You ARE strong, and you ARE brave. And you have been there for so many of us sisters when you were needed, even when you were having tough times of your own. It's OK if you don't feel it right now--all of us know you have it in you.

I will keep you in my prayers. And keep your Bible verse in mind--it's one of my own favorites.
Unread 11-21-2001, 10:05 PM
Not so good news...

I just want to add along my prayers. I am so very sorry. I know how frightening it is, but we always must be positive. Don't let this get you down. Don't let the beast win! You wil be fine!!!!!!!!!

Unread 11-22-2001, 10:11 AM
Not so good news...


Please don't ever feel bad for feeling the way you are. This IS scary, its terrifying the first time and its terrifying hearing those words again.

I remember very well feeling like someone had just hit me upside the head when I was told the first round hadn't worked. But, after a couple of days of going through every kind of emotion, I got MAD and stayed MAD!!!! There was NO WAY I was going to let this get the best of me! I know everyone handles any type of treatments their own way, but this is what worked for me, kinda natural for me since I'm sooo dang stubborn.

I believe you also had the Taxol/Carboplatin for your first round, didn't you? I had that the first round also but we found right after completing that my cancer had been resistant to the platinum based chemo.

They started me on the second round consisting of just Topotecan. This was a very different type of treatment, 5 day treatments every three weeks, each treatment only lasted an hour or so. A couple of good things with this one, I didn't loose any of the hair that had started growing in and it also didn't cause that horrible joint pain that the taxol had. And, even better that those, IT WORKED!!!

Just keep in mind, as Karen also mentioned, alot of Dr's now consider cancer to be more of a "chronic illness" that will eventually be beat! I wholeheartedly agree with that statement!!!!

And yep, as Trish mentioned, I celebrated all summer planting more Roses than I can ever hope to handle! But ya know what, I could care less! After everything that had happened, they made me smile and that's whats important! Plus the fact that I know I'm gonna be around for a very LOOOOONNNNGGGG time to watch them grow!

You WILL get through this too, I just know it gal! You are so strong, and regardless of any fear you feel, that doesn't mean you aren't just as strong as you were when you battled it the first time.

We are all here for you in any way you need us to be, please know we are here with hugs, shoulders and ears (eyes) to help. Feel free to give me a holler if you'd like to chat or vent. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.



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