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33 years old. tah/BSO 33 years old. tah/BSO

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  #1  
Unread 12-06-2001, 07:34 AM
33 years old. tah/BSO

I am a week out of surgery and have just found this website. I would like to share my story and see if anyone can relate.

My husband and I were trying to conceive since March of 2000. No success. I went in for a laparoscopy on oct 26. and on Oct. 31 I was told that I had endometrial cancer and the only option I had was to have a tah/bso. Of course I was devistasted and knew I didn't have much of a choice, you don't mess around with cancer. After doing research on endometrial cancer I was shocked to learn that this type of cancer is normally found in post menopausal women in the late fifties and sixties. Why me?

I know that trying to conceive and the soul of this unborn baby that I so desparately wanted is what indeed saved my life. And I am thankful for that. But I feel so deprived that I couldn't have had children first and then had the cancer later.

90% of the time I am happy to have found the cancer so early, I don't need radiation or chemo which is a relief. But 10% of my day I cry and feel sad that my life is changed forever.

I need help getting throught his and I am hoping someone out there has a similar experience and can offer me some advice. I need it.
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  #2  
Unread 12-08-2001, 08:30 AM
33 years old. tah/BSO

Hi Carolyn,
Welcome to HysterSisters. You will find a great deal of support and information sharing here, and we never run out of hugs either!

I am so sorry for what you have gone through. I am very happy that your cancer was found early and that no further treatment is required. You are very blessed in that respect.

I don't have children either, and as I was single and 42 when my cancer was found, I figured biological children were not in my furture at that point, however I do feel for you and your sadness.

I know that your post has also been placed on the Aching Hearts forum where there are many women who have been through what you are going through, and I am sure will have great words of comfort.

Please know that we here on the Cancer forum are also here for you as you go through this. I am so glad you found this wonderful site. You will find that you are not alone here.

You are in my prayers Carolyn.
Love and Hugs,
Maria
  #3  
Unread 12-08-2001, 11:05 AM
33 years old. tah/BSO

Carolyn,
My heart goes out to you .. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you a big hug... I can relate to where you are coming from...
I am 38.. I know a bit old for having a baby... but I married for the second time in 2000... my husband had been a batchelor... so no children for him... We were trying to have a baby... I planned on getting preg in march of 2001 so i could have the baby the first of dec... I didnt want to wait too long because i didnt want to be having a baby in my 40's...( I quit taking my birth control in Aug... figured it might take awhile to get preg...) I missed my period in march... and in april... I was beginning to get excited.. had not been to the dr yet.. when in June... (two days after my 38th b/d) i began to bleed heavily... I thought I was having a miscarriage... I went to the dr only to discover that it was not a baby growing in my uterus.. but a cancerous tumor....of course a hyster was suggested... I was scared to death about dying .
The ct scan showed cancer in the uterus and on the ovary also... come to find out the birth control i had been taking ( estrostep fe, prescribed by another dr who didnt do a pelvic exam before prescribing) was more than likely feeding the cancer
Like you , I too did some research on the cancer and found out that it is a cancer that usually occurs in women older than i was... I cried for the baby we didnt have .. I know that I have two other children.. and for them I am thankful... but I wanted to give my husband a child... and I was unable to...
Just wanted to let you know you are not alone here... YOU are strong and will get through this...Visit this site often.. I have found much strength here...
E-mail me if you want... Sondra [email protected]
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  #4  
Unread 12-08-2001, 12:06 PM
33 years old. tah/BSO

Hello Carolyn, I am so sorry for all the pain that you are exeriencing. You have found a wonderful support system here at hystersisters. Please remember we are here always to help at anytime
  #5  
Unread 12-08-2001, 01:55 PM
33 years old. tah/BSO

Hi Carolyn,
I am so sorry. We all have our "sob stories". When I read the posts I am always so sad. I never know who to feel the most sorry for. We all seem to have such horrible crosses to bear. That is when I begin to pray. I ask God to please just hold us in his care to help us get through. I am a divorced single mom of a 12 year old boy. I had stage 2B uterine cancer, which required radiation therapy (yuck). I have raised my son alone since he was about 10 months old. He is now 12. I am 37, by the way.......also young for this type of cancer. I always thought that I would get married again and have other children. I LOVE kids......I happend to be a teacher (as a matter of fact). Yet, here I am alone, with no support to get through this whole cancer thing, (which is why i love this site even more) and have never found someone to love me in that way.......to share my life with, and never to have children again.
Here is where I thank God for my son, but yet it breaks my heart that he too is alone.
Now to the happy part........we thank God every day for what we DO have and do not dwell on what we are missing. Why anything happened to any of us, there is no explanation, that which does not kill us only makes us stronger!!!!!
Valentina
  #6  
Unread 12-08-2001, 02:05 PM
33 years old. tah/BSO

Carolyn...........
Sorry.........I am just continuing. I do want to tell you there was another sister who was going through treatments about the same time as me, and she and her husband were adopting, and she was so HAPPY:jumping:
She should be a mother by now. I hope to hear from her soon, but she is probably sooooooo busy.
The crying does stop, I pomise you. You just need to take things one day at a time. So cliche, but so true. You should be very grateful that they did find it so early.........I on the other hand have frightful moments, thinkiing this monster may come back, that is when I need to take a deep breathe and pray and take it one day at a time. You will learn to do the same. I do so wish you the best of luck, and will keep you in my prayers. I am so glad you found us, and you will be too. Keep in touch and feel free to email at anytime.
Sending you Love and Hugs
Valentina
  #7  
Unread 12-08-2001, 05:19 PM
33 years old. tah/BSO

CAROLYN, HI
I AM REALLY SORRY TO HEAR OF YOUR HEARTACHE. I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WILL BE ANY CONSOLATION TO YOU BUT, I ALSO HAD ENDOMETRIAL CANCER STAGE 1. I DID NOT REQUIRE ANY FURTHER TREATMENT THANK GOD . THANK GOD FOR YOU TOO CAROLYN.
I AM 48 YRS OLD AND WAS STILL HAVING MY PERIODS REGULARLY I WAS NOT POST MENOPAUSAL. I HAVE 1 DAUGHTER BUT WANTED ANOTHER. GOD DID NOT GRANT THIS FOR ME AS I WAS HAVING OTHER FEMALE PROBLEMS AT THE TIME.(NOTHING SERIOUS BUT, NO MORE CHILDREN)
I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT TO DO, OR WHAT OUR LORD HAD IN MIND WHEN HE DID NOT CHOOSE YOU TO HAVE A CHILD. THE ONLY THING I DO KNOW IS THAT THIS WAS FOR A REASON. PERHAPS SOME DARLING BABY IS WAITING FOR YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE TO ADOPT IT. IT'S ALL OUR LORDS PLAN. I AM JUST WONDERING IF MAYBE THERE IS A CHILD OR TWO WAITING FOR YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND. I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT YOU WILL NOT LET THIS STAND IN YOUR WAY. IF YOU TRULY LOOK HARD ENOUGH, I KNOW THERE IS A TINY LITTLE ANGEL WAITING FOR YOU.
CAROLYN, GOD BLESS YOU (HE ALREADY DID) AND MAY HE LEAD YOU IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

MANY S TO YOU
  #8  
Unread 12-08-2001, 07:55 PM
33 years old. tah/BSO

Hi,
I am 35 and was diagnosed with Stage 1 adenocarcenoma of the cervix. I am young as well to be diagnosed with this. They caught mine very early as well. I do have two children but had been planning on a third. It has still been very upsetting to me anyway. Perhaps you can find a support group? I know many women who have not been able to have children for various reasons and have found these very helpful. I hope this awful experience opens up a door for you sometime in the future.
-Denise
  #9  
Unread 12-08-2001, 08:54 PM
33 years old. tah/BSO

Hi Carolyn,

I'm so glad you found Hystersisters and hope you are resting and healing well from your surgery.

Its wonderful that this was found so early and you didn't require any further treatments. The emotions involved with the cancer and surgery can be overwhelming all by iteself, but add to that the heartache of children and it can often be even more so.

I was 38 at the time of my surgery, unmarried with no children. I have wonderful nieces and nephews that help when I get the chance to spend time with them.

I don't have any real words of wisdom to share on how to handle it all but I've found talking to so many other ladies, each one of us handles it all in their own specific way. Not to sound like a cliche but time is one of the best healers.

As the other ladies have said, we are all here for you in any way we can be. Please know you are in all of our thoughts and prayers.

{{hugs}}

Vicki
  #10  
Unread 12-08-2001, 11:21 PM
33 years old. tah/BSO

Carolyn,

I'm sorry that this has happened to you--I understand your shock.

Last year at age 32, I went in for routine surgery, and they found Stage 1B ovarian cancer. No one, not even my doctor, thought that this would happen to me because of my age!

People are going to tell you that you are lucky.
They don't know what else to tell you--they are just so glad that you will live. But "Lucky" is such a subjective word! Some days you will be sad, some days you WILL indeed feel lucky! Just whatever you do, try to be positive. I know that is cliche, but it's true. Take this thing by the horns and make it your own. That's what I do. But this is the beginning for you, and it's healthy to be sad. You're entitled.

I don't have kids--I'm sorry that you won't be able to conceive your own. But that doesn't mean you can't adopt--You probably don't want to hear that right now, but I will bet anything that there is some little kid out there waiting for someone like you to be its mother!

And don't forget this: There is a reason why you are alive right now!! And the child you may adopt could very well be THE ONE that God intended for you to have all along.

Things WILL get better.
Cathy
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