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Hysto at 39..no kids Hysto at 39..no kids

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  #1  
Unread 08-30-2011, 08:11 PM
Hysto at 39..no kids

Hello. My friend told me about this site, so I decided to check it out. I am pleased with the amount of support and information that is available. Thank you everyone for helping others.

I have had heavy periods with clotting since I was 19. In my early 30's I had 2 ectopic pregnancies and a miscarriage within a year an half. Both ectopics resulted in ruptured tubes and emergency cesarean type surgeries. I had always wanted kids and went through a very emotional time during my 'losses'. It was especially hard to know that the only way I could have a child was through in vitro. Cost was always an issue so I never pursued it. Anyways, a few years ago I accepted that I would not have kids of my own.

A couple weeks ago my doctor told me that I had adenomyosis (sp?). She suggested an IUD since I did not have kids. I initially agreed, but after a bit of research called back and asked about getting a hysterectomy. She said it would be the best route as long as I'm ok with the 'finality" of not being able to have kids.

It is a bit sad for me that I am not only childless, but I will soon be uterus-less. However, at my age (I'll be 40 in Dec) I'm ready to move on with my life. I'm tired if the heavy bleeding, clotting, bathroom runs every 1-2 hours the first 2-3 days of my period, wearing tampons WITH pads because of bleed through.

My surgery date is November 7th. So far I am keeping my ovaries, but losing my uterus and cervix. I am nervous though about the effects of a hysterectomy. I am fearful that my sex life will suffer and that I will lose control of my bladder or things will fall out. I hope that is not the case. Thanks again to everyone for sharing your information. It is really helping me with this process.
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  #2  
Unread 08-31-2011, 06:15 AM
Re: Hysto at 39..no kids

Sonjai, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. You have come to the right place for support and understanding!

I'm scared of the same things you are. I'm scared I won't feel like myself anymore and that my sex drive will go away. But then I think of the positives. No more bleeding! Hopefully no more feeling weak two weeks a month. Getting my life back from my uterus is getting my through right now.
  #3  
Unread 08-31-2011, 06:36 AM
Re: Hysto at 39..no kids

Welcome!! We are glad you found us! I am so sorry to hear about your losses. That is so much for someone to go through. I am 30 with no kids and it is hard sometimes, but I DID get my life back.

I know you can read a lot of information on here and other websites, which can be both good and bad. One thing that I ask you to keep in mind is that USUALLY people who are post op are going to post about the bad things that happen to them as result of their surgery. They need support to deal with the issues they are having and that is why we are all here, to help each other through it.

However, there are success stories as well. I know that I only had my surgery a little over 3 months ago, but I can honestly tell you that I have never felt better. My pain and heavy bleeding is gone, since my HRT has been "tweaked" a bit, I am having absolutely no menopause symptoms, my sex life has improved dramatically, and I just feel overall.....FABULOUS!!!

I hope you are just like me and find the relief you need and have a better life because of your surgery. Turn to your sisters here for the support you need and don't be afraid to ask questions. Best of luck to you!
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  #4  
Unread 08-31-2011, 09:57 AM
Re: Hysto at 39..no kids

Hello! I'm right there with you - after 10 years of "trying" we finally accepted that we wouldn't be able to conceive on our own. My periods were "normal" for 4 weeks or so and then would be super heavy for 1 - 2 weeks. I got to the point where I was run down and this spring finally asked about getting a hyst.

I have to say - even though I am only 6 weeks post-op right now that I feel better. I don't feel like I need to eat red meat constantly to build up my iron for the next mega period. I took great pleasure in giving a friend all of my leftover tampons. My energy is increasing each day. My mom is obsessed over "how good my color is now" (I was not aware it was bad before).

I had to allow myself to grieve the children I never had as well as the loss of hope I had that it might be THE time we conceived. I still feel sad and jealous of those who get pregnant. I think I will always have that scar on my heart from the infertility. It helps to know I'm not alone with those feelings and thoughts.

I wish you the best with your surgery and with your recovery.
  #5  
Unread 08-31-2011, 11:17 AM
Re: Hysto at 39..no kids

Even at 48, having this surgery still feels like a loss. I too only conceived once and miscarried the day I learned I was pregnant. This was only two years ago. We adopted 10 years ago (and had to endure countless stories about and even knew people who got pregnant while they were in the adoption process--thanks, folks, I know you mean well but that's not how it works for everyone!). So I've had some experience grieving about this, but I figure this surgery deserves some grieving room too.

Already, though, I am so excited to not have periods. To never again have to go to bed with a tampon, half a roll of TP wadded up, and a pad to get any sleep at all the first 2-3 nights. (I called my last period my "parting gift," coming as it did on the first day of a six-day camping trip and just one week before my surgery.) I am just over two weeks into my recovery and already I'm feeling relief, which I'll take even if most of it is just in my head. I still have my cervix and one ovary.

And I hear kegels, before and after, are good exercise for the muscles we need for peeing and sex, so I try to do them whenever I think of them. Kegels are the best -- you can do your "workout" without anyone even knowing!

Best of luck to you, and may you have plenty of room to feel all of your feelings, before and after your surgery.
  #6  
Unread 08-31-2011, 03:54 PM
Re: Hysto at 39..no kids

I totally understand your apprehension, I will not lie to you there are complications that can arise from the surgery, they can damage your bladder, your ovaries although still intact can fail and not produce hormones, but with any surgery there is a chance and a chance means slight. I was totally freaked out by what could happen too but I also had no choice unless I wanted further complications down the line or live in exteme pain. I had Uterine prolapse, basically my uterus was literally falling out of my vagina, If you feel you have no choice doing the surgery then just tell yourself that within the grand scheme of thousands of hysterectomy's very few end with serious complications. That is what got me through. Take care
  #7  
Unread 08-31-2011, 04:50 PM
Re: Hysto at 39..no kids

Thank you for all of your comments!
  #8  
Unread 08-31-2011, 09:00 PM
Re: Hysto at 39..no kids

Hi there! I can relate to those feelings, too. I conceived 7 times and had only one success . . . for many years now DH and I were open and public about the fact that we weren't going to try for more, in fact I even had a tubal (and another m/c a few years later). When I found myself faced with a hysterectomy, it took a few months for me to come to terms with the fact that this really is it, despite the fact that I always felt I'd have "one more", it's not gonna happen. And I'm alright with that now.

Just wanted to let you know I read your post and have you in my thoughts and prayers.
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