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I'm an emotional wreck I'm an emotional wreck

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Unread 09-06-2011, 11:19 AM
Re: I'm an emotional wreck

Just as it is normal for our DH/ significant others to sometimes become distant with this or not know how to react, it is normal for us to get a little freaked out by how we expect them to react and reality. Let's face it, we visualize them being very compassionate and understanding but when we do that we are pretty much giving them girl emotions and not being true to their guy natures. Let's face it, they are not sitcom husbands.

I wanted my ball and chain to be a certain way, I visualize my happy family and husband, it doesn't fit the image, I find myself questioning my relationship. Fact is, nothing has changed. I'm reacting in my way, he reacts in his. From what I've read this is normal. There should seriously be stages of the hysterectomy.

1. Upset
2. Gather information
3. Denile, question if problem is that serious
4. Panic, "what if" time!
5. Pretend like all is cool, or "I'm now bored with this"
6. Nesting/cleaning/shopping
7. Emotionally needy or "why doesn't everyone else seem to be as upset as I am right now? Wait, it's because they don't care?!?!"
8. Gonna have to get back to ya on this one.... surgery still in 2 days and I suspect there are new emotions coming.

So I say everything will be cool. And if it doesn't work the way you hope it does??? You are strong, you will get through that too. We are here for ya.
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Unread 09-06-2011, 12:14 PM
Re: I'm an emotional wreck

I was doing good til the other day.It just hit me like a ton of bricks then the tears started rolling.My surgery is Oct.4 2011 and I am very nervous about this.All this happening way to fast.Not to mention I have other health problems and maybe another pending surgery.So yeah it did hit me like a ton of bricks.I called my hubby on my home from the doctors crying he said he didn't need this.You know that really hurt me.I also understand it is hard on him not knowing how to help me.He has helped he has been my rock.I guess I have said enough for now.
Unread 09-06-2011, 01:17 PM
Re: I'm an emotional wreck

This weekend, I asked my husband point-blank how he felt about my upcoming hysterectomy. I'm so glad I did! After some prodding, I finally got an answer out of him, other than "If that's what you want to do".

But I know what you mean . . . a lot of men don't know how to do anything about our "female" problems, so they tend to just not do anything.

One thing that coincidentally helped my husband understand what's going on is that we went to the Bodies exhibit over the weekend, and they had a uterus there with a fibroid. It really helped to show him what exactly I have, and how it fits in with the rest of my body. He seemed much more empathetic after that. Men are supposed to be much more visual than women are, so maybe if you can find a way to show him what is going on, it might help??

Best wishes to all! We're all in this together!

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