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Small Ridiculous Moments Small Ridiculous Moments

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  #1  
Unread 09-06-2011, 10:39 PM
Small Ridiculous Moments

Today, I experienced such a ridiculous pre-surgery moment that I have to share. I was on the phone with the medical secretaries, trying to get ducks in a row for my FMLA (the thing that lets you take time off work and still have a job to come back to.) Very clearly communicating to the secretary: upcoming surgery for fibroid removal, got bumped forward a couple weeks, please check my records for the doctor's note, etc.

She very competently looked up my file, read all about it, gave me all the information I needed to make sure I could pursue disability if I ran out of sick leave before I recovered...

...and then kindly alerted me to a wonderful state-funded program that offers extra Baby Bonding time to folks in my situation.

My exact words: "Um, it's a tumor. Not an infant. Don't think we're gonna cuddle after the surgeon gets it out."

I'd love to hear if anyone else has had one of those gotta-laugh-or-you'll-cry-your-eyes-out kind of moments on the yellow brick road to getting this stuff dealt with.
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  #2  
Unread 09-07-2011, 12:44 AM
Re: Small Ridiculous Moments

You should totally name your tumor.

I was trying to pee into a little cup at the doctors office (cause anywhere else would be awkward) and I missed and pretty much pee'ed (not sure about that spelling, I'm kind of illiterate) all over myself. It's very confusing. Some sort of directing the stream sort of thing. Anyways, I tried to cover it up by splashing water all over myself and then telling the nurse the sink exploded all over. I'm just that clever.
  #3  
Unread 09-07-2011, 03:16 AM
Re: Small Ridiculous Moments

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Turanga_4 View Post
She very competently looked up my file, read all about it, gave me all the information I needed to make sure I could pursue disability if I ran out of sick leave before I recovered...

...and then kindly alerted me to a wonderful state-funded program that offers extra Baby Bonding time to folks in my situation.

My exact words: "Um, it's a tumor. Not an infant. Don't think we're gonna cuddle after the surgeon gets it out."
Too much!!! Thanks for making me laugh

UpInTheAir - way to go - got to remember that one - I am going for my pre-op today - how is anyone supposed to hit that little cup to begin with ...
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  #4  
Unread 09-07-2011, 06:14 AM
Re: Small Ridiculous Moments

LOL - this made me smile a bit. I actually named mine Fibriod Freddy. Yup did the whole peeing down the side of my leg as well. Pre-op this AM so hopefully all will go well =) Good Luck Ladies!!
  #5  
Unread 09-07-2011, 08:23 AM
Re: Small Ridiculous Moments

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Turanga_4 View Post

She very competently looked up my file, read all about it, gave me all the information I needed to make sure I could pursue disability if I ran out of sick leave before I recovered...

...and then kindly alerted me to a wonderful state-funded program that offers extra Baby Bonding time to folks in my situation.

My exact words: "Um, it's a tumor. Not an infant. Don't think we're gonna cuddle after the surgeon gets it out."
TOO funny!!! So glad you have such a positive attitude about everything and can keep your sense of humor!!! Thanks for sharing this...it made me laugh!!
  #6  
Unread 09-07-2011, 09:42 AM
Re: Small Ridiculous Moments

LOL!! Thus proving that she hadn't really been paying attention to what you were telling her? Gotta love it!!

I haven't had any funny moments yet but thanks to those of you who have for posting them here!!
  #7  
Unread 09-07-2011, 10:42 AM
Re: Small Ridiculous Moments

I just got off a call to the pre-op department of my hospital and the woman with my file in front of her asked if I was having a c- section. Um. No. LOL Goes to show you that people don't read.
  #8  
Unread 09-07-2011, 10:48 PM
Re: Small Ridiculous Moments

Ah, the wackiness. It continues.

I was initially scheduled for September 30th, but fibroid got angry and surgeon got a cancellation, so we're on an Accelerated Weight Loss Plan here at Turanga_Incorporated.

My "pre-op appointment" was initially scheduled for September 12th. I use scare quotes because my hospital actually does this as a PHONE CALL.

All right, whatever, but I realized today that perhaps they should be calling me to reschedule the whole calling me September 12th thing, as that would now be the night before surgery.

So I called them, and they offered me an alternative pre-op appointment of...September 17th.

Errr....

Transferred to the advice nurse, to at least get the basic questions out of the way. She reassured me that they did night-before pre-ops all the time, but if I insisted, she could maybe try to answer my questions.

Question #1: How soon should I stop taking vitamins and Motrin?

Answer: Ten days before surgery.

(Implied Question #2: If I hadn't called you, when were you fools actually going to tell me to stop taking vitamins and Motrin ten days before surgery?)

(Implied Answer #2: Sixteen hours before surgery.)

I'm thinking the MRI must double as a time machine, because otherwise, sequential order of events is a problem over there.
  #9  
Unread 09-07-2011, 11:00 PM
Re: Small Ridiculous Moments

That is one thing everyone facing surgery needs to ask is what meds to d/c. Include vitamins and herbs in this. Some of them can cause excessive bleeding post op. Too bad they don't think before their foot is in their mouth!
  #10  
Unread 09-08-2011, 04:47 PM
Re: Small Ridiculous Moments

Oh dear, ya'll are making me laugh! Not at you, but with you as I slowly work my way down the hyster road as well. Personally, I named my uterus "Esmerelda" . . . Bewitched, she was Samantha's Aunt that you had to love because she was family and wanted to do good, but usually didn't. I was a bit surprised when my Dr. referred to the size of my uterus as a 4 month fetus. I have no children, and obviously won't now, but really? A fetus? #1: don't call my crazy uterus a fetus and #2: I'm supposed to understand that why? So she broke it down to 5 golf balls and 3 tennis balls. Now THAT I can understand! Sending you all love and good wishes . . . what a road this is, huh? And laughing is sure better than crying!
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