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Hosting a party 1 wk post op Hosting a party 1 wk post op

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  #1  
Unread 09-15-2011, 06:53 AM
Hosting a party 1 wk post op

I mentioned to my DH that my surgery is a week before Thanksgiving so I will be missing out this year. He said, "No, we'll just have it here." When my jaw dropped open and I called him crazy he said "No, no, don't worry, everyone will bring something. You won't have to cook".

I can't seem to impress upon him that if I am too sick and in pain to drive 30 minutes to his mother's house, I am in NO shape to HOST a 8-15 person gathering - cooking or not! Aaarrggh!

HELP! DH currently does not do any cleaning or cooking...

BTW, in Canada, we have our Thanksgiving the second weekend in October which will be the weekend of October 8th this year. (in case the dates were confusing some people)
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  #2  
Unread 09-15-2011, 06:55 AM
Re: Hosting a party 1 wk post op

I hadva 2 week house guest arrive 4 days after my surgery. I was freaking out! LOL But, hubby and the kids really pitched in and attended to the details.
  #3  
Unread 09-15-2011, 06:57 AM
Re: Hosting a party 1 wk post op

Make him understand that you need the rest! You may have to put your foot ALL THE WAY down on this one! WOW! Sorry to hear that!
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  #4  
Unread 09-15-2011, 06:58 AM
Re: Hosting a party 1 wk post op

If you get along with his mother could you ask her to help explain to him?
  #5  
Unread 09-15-2011, 07:07 AM
Hosting a party 1 wk post op

No, you don't have to cook, but who's going to clean up or get the house ready in the first place? Are you ok with giving up your house and kitchen to these people? And when they leave, will you be in there moving everything back where it belongs? I know that I would not be comfortable doing nothing in my own house. Even sitting on the couch entertaining is exhausting. Be careful with this one. Best Wishes
  #6  
Unread 09-15-2011, 07:13 AM
Re: Hosting a party 1 wk post op

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Kybbi View Post
If you get along with his mother could you ask her to help explain to him?
Thanks Kybbi, I will have to do that. Lucky I get along with all of my in-laws. I think they would be MORE than understanding.

And yes, I think about: who will clean before hand? Will I have enough energy to just sit and "be entertaining"? Can I just sit and watch other people work in my house? Who will clean up the mess when they are gone?
  #7  
Unread 09-15-2011, 07:13 AM
Re: Hosting a party 1 wk post op

One week post op you won't feel like doing a big gathering like that. For the first two weeks I couldn't even eat, never mind anything else. I think you will have to put your foot down and tell him "NO"! He can go to his mother's house and bring you back a plate but you should not be forced into this by him.
  #8  
Unread 09-15-2011, 12:45 PM
Re: Hosting a party 1 wk post op

  Quote:
Originally Posted by undone View Post
One week post op you won't feel like doing a big gathering like that. For the first two weeks I couldn't even eat, never mind anything else. I think you will have to put your foot down and tell him "NO"! He can go to his mother's house and bring you back a plate but you should not be forced into this by him.
I'm six days post-op and I agree with this comment. Even if you feel great--relatively speaking--you will be in no condition for company.
  #9  
Unread 09-19-2011, 07:19 AM
Re: Hosting a party 1 wk post op

I talked to my mother-in-law and she talked DH into cancelling the party. It was very amusing when he came home and said that his mom called and asked if we would host Thanksgiving. At first I thought, "What? She's not doing what I asked" Then I realized she knows her son better than anyone and got him to agree using reverse psychology!

The two of them are now planning frozen meals for me for my first couple of weeks post op. I suddenly have more support from DH than I thought I would. Yay for mother-in-law!
  #10  
Unread 09-19-2011, 07:25 AM
Re: Hosting a party 1 wk post op

Glad you got it worked out! I was going to say to play it by ear, you might be surprised how well you might feel by that point. I'm on post-op day 5 today (my surgery was last Wednesday) and I honestly don't feel that bad. I wouldn't be up to cooking the big feast, mind you, but if people pitched in and brought the food and did the clean-up afterward, I would be comfortable handling that at this point. Leaving myself the out to go up to bed and nap if I needed to, of course.
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