2 days until surgery

I found out last month I needed to have a hysterectomy because of fibroids pressing into my bladder and destroying it from infection after infection and severe endometriosis.
I go in 2 days from now on the 21st and I am completely terrified.

I have never been knocked out for surgery and I am really scared I won't make it through to see my kids again (I live 1000 miles away and only get to see them a few times a year thanks to a messy divorce).

I know realistically I should be OK, but all the "what if's" are driving me nuts. I'm not in that great of health and I know that even if I do pull through, recovery will be slow.

I really want to just cancel the surgery and keep on hurting, but I know that is not very practical.

Any advice on how to over-come all this fear would be appreciated.

Dont cancel your surgery! The what ifs about drove me crazy too. Use this time to get ready for your recovery. The pAin and distress that i had cooked up in my mind were 100 times worse than actuality. Actually other than a few minor pains this was a piece of cake. I think the constipation after is the worse part of it all. If you read thru this site you will see most of us had doubts pre op. My back always hurt before surgery and about had me on my knees on a regular basis. Since surgery i have not had any of those pains. It will be ok.

Ahnalia,
We are scheduled the same day. Just think about the positives ecspecially that the pain will be gone. Think about your children and how much more energy you will have afterwards so when you do get to see them it'll be more quality time. Write down your what if's read them then mark them off the list. (Just a suggestion it has helped me in the past)

I am scheduled the 27th due to fibroids pressing into my bladder too but have had many surgeries requiring general anesthesia. It can be frightening but you need to remember that the waiting is the worst part. I find listening to my favorite songs on an IPod until they take me to the OR helps calm me down.

Oh my! I know the stress coming up to surgery can be awful! You have your sisters to help you through!

As a fellow sufferer from endo, I can tell you the surgery has been VERY worth it for me! The first few weeks will be tough, but I noticed an immediate difference in the pain! My "old" pain was gone! After 20+ years of pain...IT WAS GONE!

Often times, we worry ourselves into more pain, physically and emotionally. I know it's easier said than done...try to relax...do things just for you...go get a pedicure or a massage! Do whatever you can to take care of you! You deserve it!

As always, your sisters are no more than a click away! Best of luck to you on your surgery and wishing you a speedy recovery!

Hang in there girl! I can tell you without any hesitation, that the waiting was harder than the surgery & post-op so far! I have 3 kiddos myself (twin 15 year old boys & a 13 year old daughter), and like you, every-time I thought of them I would cry.

I am a control freak, and I think that is why I would obsess over the surgery & anesthesia - but once you are in there, they will probably give you something to relax before they do the full anesthesia. Once they did that, the immediate drama and fears are gone. Then the next thing you know you are done. I can also tell you that the post-op pain at this point is very tolerable! Nothing like the endo/fibroids!

So please know you are not alone in the stress / anxiety that you are feeling - it is very normal. Also know that there are many of us rooting for you! Being the control freak that I am, I tended to focus on controlling those things that I could - doing my laundry, cooking a few meals that I could store in the freezer, cleaning my recovery room, making sure that I had the supplies on hand that were suggested in this website (heating pad, extra pillow for the ride home, etc). I even gave myself a pedicure so that my feet would be presentable. It helped pass the time.

In the meantime, come back here often, I really couldn't have managed without the posts from this site.

Finally, know there will be many of us praying that you find peace of mind!

Hugs!

I know the unknow can be scary, but you will be fine. My surgery was to be today, but I put it off so I could make certain things with my children in school where okay and tie up some loose ends. But now I am waiting until November 7th, and I think I am finally at peace with alot of what will take place. But most importantly, is your FAITH. Keep the FAITH without it you can lose control of so much. You will be find, it is okay to be a little nervous, but just build on your FAITH. My prayers are with you, and wishing you an speedy recovery.

Hi- You are justified in feeling that way- I am on the 21st too and I have made myself a nervous wreck worrying about what is going to happen.. and if I will find out bad news are not. My D and C biopsy came back as bad- so that is why I am going in. Actually had more pain before D and C- and thought it was going to get better. Found out I had to have surgery a week and a half ago and Wham! pain back today.. last day of work for me. I know I cant deal with pain and dont have a choice about the surgery- but does not make my nerves calm down...

Thank you for the words of encouragement.
I keep finding myself thinking I may never get to see my kids again, and i just break down and cry.
If I was reasonably healthy, I wouldn't worry so much, but I am really not healthy (I have lupus), and I keep thinking I won't make it through, that I will die under anesthesia.

I know I have to go someday, but I am so scared I will leave my kids behind before they are grown up. I see them so rarely as it is, and they went through so much with a bitter ex-husband taking them for me for a year, that losing me now would be a huge slap in the face to them.

Or my other biggest fear is what if this doesn't solve the problem, what if it makes it worse, and they mess up and damage my bladder even worse?
What if it's all for nothing? =/

You can do this! You have had so many obstacles in your life that this is your time! Believe it!

I try to hold true to faith! I understand there are bad things that happen, often to good people! I have a good feeling we will all be hearing from you on the 22nd of this month!

Prayers are with you!