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I thought I was supposed to be emotional AFTER surgery. I thought I was supposed to be emotional AFTER surgery.

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  #1  
Unread 09-28-2011, 08:49 AM
I thought I was supposed to be emotional AFTER surgery.

I feel like I have lost my ever loving mind today. I'm shaky and I am crying and I have taken offense to almost everything anyone has said today. My surgery is scheduled for Tuesday Oct. 4th and I was ok with that until today. Everyone who said they would help has called today to tell me about something so important that they will not be able to help after the surgery and told me not to worry because all the stuff i have been told not to do after surgery is just them being cautious. It won't really be that bad. (None of these people have had a hysterectomy) I feel really alone and scared. I want to scream and tell all these people what they can do and it isn't nice. My DH is supportive but he can't REALLY understand. I just wanted to vent. That is all I want to do but no one wants to be the one to hear it. My house is clean, my bag is packed, and my area is ready to receive me when I come home. There just won't be anyone here to help...as of right now I don't even have anyone to pick me up from the hospital. My DH will if all else fails but he really needs to be at work.
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  #2  
Unread 09-28-2011, 09:55 AM
Re: I thought I was supposed to be emotional AFTER surgery.

Angie, I'm so sorry to hear all that you're going through! People can be so insensitive and annoying! I wish I lived near you so I could come help you! I know I was so mad last week when my sister told me that a woman she knows had a hysterectomy and was back at work the next day! First of all, I don't believe that for a second and secondly, I don't care! I don't know if its her way of trying to help me not worry or what, but all it did was make me feel like she's downplaying the seriousness of the surgery and that if I'm not back to normal in a day then I'm just being a baby. Just take care of yourself and try not to let people get to you. You're number one right now!
  #3  
Unread 09-28-2011, 09:56 AM
Re: I thought I was supposed to be emotional AFTER surgery.



I am so sorry you are going through this. Very sorry to hear that your friends backed out on you. I hope you can get someone to reconsider. You have to take it easy after surgery so you can get back on your feel faster.

Do you have someone from work that could drop by to help? Someone from church? A neighbor?

If you can't find someone to be there with you the first few days after surgery, here are some tips to make it as easy for you as possible.

1. Have some meals already made and freeze them, so all you have to do is thaw them out.

2. Get a table or TV tray to put by the couch, the bed, recliner (wherever you are going to be spending most of your time). Put your remote, phone, painmeds and anything else you are going to need on there so you don't have to keep getting up to get things.

3. If you do have to do things (that are still within your restrictions)..do them slowly. Take your time and take frequent breaks so you don't over do it.

4. Keep moving... walking helps with a number of things during the healing process, so go for several short walks every day....even if it is just from your front door to your back door.

I hope this helps sweetie, but I hope even more that you can find someone who can help you in person.

Don't forget, your sisters are always here to listen to you vent.

to you sweetie.
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  #4  
Unread 09-28-2011, 11:34 AM
Re: I thought I was supposed to be emotional AFTER surgery.

Sorry to hear about your situation. I feel just like you do. Alone. My husband cannot take off work no matter what. My mom in law was suppose to help with four year old who is home alone with me every day. I have an 11 year old to get home from school who is out of district. And Mom in law may have to start work next week.My lavh is monday. But I have been doing as much as I can. Everyone at church is too busy at work. And I have been leaning on God. and to know that everyones recovery is different. I think maybe you will find if you are home alone the hard part may be getting stuff.But on the positive side, you probly get more sleep being a lone instead of having some one hovering over you to help in a nice way. My mom in law will be here with my two kids and her two kids. YIKES!! LOL. But I will pray for you and know that you are never totally alone. MY husband as well is not understanding at all, it hurts I know. MY husband made plans Saturday to take his dog to vet and wont take four year old, I was freaking out bout that and gave major attitude. I felt bad, but I was like, Really your first day off work and your made yourself busy. But I have to realize that he has a life too and sat and sun are litterally his only days to get anything done as he works 14 hour days monday through friday.
I am hurt cuz I don't think he will be able to even go see me in hospital. I want him too.
Get food that is easy, tv dinners, snack that you can put by tv or where ever you will be. I have taken a lot of advice from ladies on here.
  #5  
Unread 09-28-2011, 11:57 AM
Re: I thought I was supposed to be emotional AFTER surgery.

Sorry to hear that you will be on your own when you get home. This worries me to , and also that I am responsible for caring for someone else. I have decided in my head that if/when I make the decision I will do all those things suggested above and basically put me first for a change. Prepare what you can in advance, let the housework pile up while you are recovering and concentrate on me time- stuff everything else that usually needs doing- it can all wait. Stock up on good books, DVDs etc befoe you go in and maybe shop on line for groceries to start with? Pay bills up front etc-plan ahead . Hope you get lots of support from this site.
  #6  
Unread 09-28-2011, 01:01 PM
Re: I thought I was supposed to be emotional AFTER surgery.

Thank you so much for all the support. I was really panicking this morning. I know I have done all I can to prepare and that is all i can control. I have cried and raged and thrown things all day and I really feel better now. Ha ha! I still don't think it is right or kind for anyone to downplay what I am going through, especially when they have never gone through anything like it but have decided to just tell them that when they say something rather than hold it all in and make myself feel worse. To those who have or are going through the same thing. I'm praying for you too. <3
  #7  
Unread 09-28-2011, 03:34 PM
Re: I thought I was supposed to be emotional AFTER surgery.

Angie, I will be thinking about you on your day of surgery because mine is also Oct 4th.

So sorry about your situation. It seems in times like these we find out who our real friends are.

I am blessed to have my 17 year old son at home to take care of me after my SAH. I dont know what I would do otherwise because my husband needs to be at work also.

I hope everything works out for you!
  #8  
Unread 09-28-2011, 04:34 PM
Re: I thought I was supposed to be emotional AFTER surgery.

  Quote:
Originally Posted by angela2226 View Post
I feel like I have lost my ever loving mind today. I'm shaky and I am crying and I have taken offense to almost everything anyone has said today. My surgery is scheduled for Tuesday Oct. 4th and I was ok with that until today. Everyone who said they would help has called today to tell me about something so important that they will not be able to help after the surgery and told me not to worry because all the stuff i have been told not to do after surgery is just them being cautious. It won't really be that bad. (None of these people have had a hysterectomy) I feel really alone and scared. I want to scream and tell all these people what they can do and it isn't nice. My DH is supportive but he can't REALLY understand. I just wanted to vent. That is all I want to do but no one wants to be the one to hear it. My house is clean, my bag is packed, and my area is ready to receive me when I come home. There just won't be anyone here to help...as of right now I don't even have anyone to pick me up from the hospital. My DH will if all else fails but he really needs to be at work.
Take a taxi if need be. I am sure you will find someone, or leave the hospital when he is off of work.
I am sorry that people are "bailing" out on you.

My family also thought it was "no big deal,"
But i just told them what I wanted or needed.
My family is not overtly helpful, but they will help if asked.

I think my mom and sister came over one afternoon, and my other sister came over a different afternoon.

I had friends and family scheduled for every afternoon or morning for two weeks' worth of weekdays.

My ladies Bunco club group brought over meals every weekday at dinnertime for two weeks. That really delighted and surprised me.

Other family members, DH and adult DD (who is a nurse),
took care of me the first two weekends.
After that, I was on my own. Come to think of it, I was on my own some of the time, as I wanted to nap and rest.

After 2 weeks, it is my belief that you run out of family and friends to help, LOL.

There was one good friend that did not come over to help at all, no rides, no food, no call, no visit. This surprised me because I was there for her during her hysterectomy....big time. I have since put her at a distance.

I think that it is just how close you really are and what is going on in their lives. You can't depend on others too much.
I was just happy that it all "fell into place."
I was certainly ready for plan 2, which was hire a housekeeper to clean my house and then make me a sandwich for lunch before she left, LOL.

Another option was to hire the local teenager for $5.00 an hour. The most expensive option was to hire a CNA if I was really bad. Thank goodness I was O.K. on my own.

I will have to admit that I had been there for others when they needed a hand or a meal cooked. I have cooked many, many meals for friends that returned from the hospital or had a close loved one that passed away.

I have cared for several children in the neighborhood (for free), and they are now adults. I could call any of 4 adult children with cars and they would pick up what I needed from the store or bring me a sandwich. They always said that I was their "2nd mother", albeit a strict one.
One boy (he is now 24) and his GF stopped by and brought me lunch.

My point is not to forget the "young uns." They have cars.
The next door neighbor or the family across the street.

I realize I was lucky, but if you don't have these options, hire someone to help now and then.

Good luck!

Try not to worry.
  #9  
Unread 09-28-2011, 04:42 PM
Re: I thought I was supposed to be emotional AFTER surgery.

Truly hope everything goes well for you. I am so sorry that all your support can not be there for you when you need them. Hopefully some of them can reshedule what they had planned to be with you and help out. I believer that need day comes to everyone and you never know who you may need. But maybe you should concentrate just on you for awhile and do what you need to for yourself to get by. You would not be selfish, just taking care of yourself and that is okay. I hope someone will be able to come and help you out, I know this stress can not be good, so just pray it will all work out. Your stronger than you think.
  #10  
Unread 09-28-2011, 04:58 PM
Re: I thought I was supposed to be emotional AFTER surgery.

It surprises me how many people downplay our surgery. And these are always people who haven't had a hysterectomy, so how would they know? And it's true, you find out who your real friends are. I had my feelings very hurt by some people (still are) and very surprised by the concern of others that I didn't expect it from. I wish you all the best with your surgeries :-)
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