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Things that worry me Things that worry me

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Unread 09-28-2011, 07:44 PM
Things that worry me

okay. it looks like i am scheduled for my TAH (keeping my ovaries and my cervix) on october 25th.

in order of importance to me: 1) i am worried that my three-year-old son will forget how much i love him (and vice versa!) when i can't run around after him, pick him up, and play silly games 2) i am worried that i will never have an orgasm again 3) i am worried that i will turn into a fat, sexless, blob once i don't have a uterus 4) i am worried that i will die.

there are many more, but these are the top four...
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Unread 09-28-2011, 08:47 PM
Re: Things that worry me

Ah try not to worry. Your baby will know that you have an ouchy belly and that u luv him by the way u talk with him and do quiet things. U wont be a blob. I have lost 10 lbs and if u eat fruits vegs and lots of water it will help. I may find your appetite is smaller mine sure is. I had tah bso 5 weeks tomorrow. I thought about dying too. That is a natural fear. And u will from what i read here have the big O again. I have a few weeks to find out about that. Good luck!! Stay positive
Unread 09-28-2011, 09:06 PM
Re: Things that worry me

I'm most afraid of how my 2 year old is going to react. He's used to me carrying him, playing on the floor, sitting on my lap... I'm afraid of dying too. Mostly because of the effect it would have on my son's life.
I'm not scheduled yet. I go for a second opinion with a davinci doc tomorrow. If I don't go with him, my doc will do SAH with a vertical incision.
We'll all be through this one day. I can't wait! Hugs.
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Unread 09-28-2011, 09:29 PM
Re: Things that worry me

If you think about it, it is in the doctors and nurses' best interests to keep you alive. It is totally natural to have a fear of dying while under anesthesia; I had the same fear but calmed myself by saying that the doctors and nurses will do everything they can to keep me alive. None of them want to lose a patient on the table.

As to some of your other fears, you will continue to be a beautiful sexy woman. Your uterus does not define your femininity.

I hope this helps.
Unread 09-28-2011, 10:23 PM
Re: Things that worry me

Dragoncita...don't worry about your child...he will be fine. I had the same worry, but honestly, if you explain to him that you will have a sore belly and can't pick him up for a while, he will be fine...if he's anything like my son, he will kiss your tummy and ask "Did that fix it?"...that was too cute when my son did that! Trust me, he will learn to live with you not picking him up. There are other ways for physical contact...I got down on my knees to cuddle him (I did this after having a caesarean with my first son too). Kids are pretty resilient...if you explain you can't pick him up for a few weeks, he will keep asking if "a few weeks is up yet" and you can tell him "not yet". I am 6 weeks today and got the green light to pick up my son yesterday, which I did as soon as I got home...he was happy and I was happy!

As for playing silly can make up new silly games...and playing doesn't have to involve running around after can modify things a bit - he will understand...they may only be little people, but children do get the general idea of what it's like to have mummy sick for a long as you promise him things will be better when you are better, he will understand! Kids are pretty resilient and smarter than we give them credit for!

You won't be a sexless blob either...whilst I am 6 weeks out, I haven't had sex yet...but the yearning is there...I just have to get up enough courage to do so (there are reasons behind my fear - not due to this surgery, but through past surgery). Actually, I feel sexier now than I did beforehand...mainly because I am not constantly bleeding and I have way more energy than before...I am not in constant pain either...I don't know your reasons for hysterectomy...but if they are like mine, then my guess is, you will probably feel sexier too having left all of your issues in the operating room!

As for being scared of dying...I don't think you would be human if you didn't experience that feeling when heading into surgery! I know I felt like fact, the last thought that went through my head as I was getting the anaesthetic was "Well, here we go"...the next minute I know some nurse is smacking me on the face and telling me to wake up and open my eyes (and I was saying I don't want to...I finally get a bit of sleep and someone goes and wakes me up!). Honestly, you will be fine...and whilst it is a scary thought of knowing you are going to have surgery, you will be fine on the other side. What comforted me was the thought that they do this type of operation all the time and I was in good hands!

Good luck for October will be fine and so will your son!
Unread 09-28-2011, 10:34 PM
Re: Things that worry me

I too have a 3 year old. A very large 3 year old, and since I am 5' tall and weigh 118 lbs...I a pretty sure it will be an extra week or two more than expected. I still have 4 weeks but have already started explaining that I will be "broken" for a little while and she is really looking forward to being mommy's nurse. There are many ways to include the young ones so they feel very important during the healing time. I had a broken neck previously..and she still gives me check ups once in a while. Creativity can go a long way. Good luck! Keep us posted.
Unread 09-28-2011, 11:22 PM
Re: Things that worry me

Worries are a normal concern. Your son will understand once you tell him mommy has an "owie" and you all have to be very careful for a little bit! When you hug him and give him lots of love...KEEP A PILLOW HANDY!....Just as Chryvine has mentioned, start talking to your baby now and letting him know whats going on...they understand more than we think.

Orgasms...I wouldn't worry much about right will definitely take some time and I have heard that sex is better than ever for most cases!

Once you are safe and get the ok from your doctor...start your exercise routine and stick with it! Some of us aren't blessed with a high metabolism so we have to work out....but you will be fine...and as someone else mentioned...dying is not an option! Lady you will be just fine and will soon be a

Unread 09-29-2011, 07:15 AM
Re: Things that worry me

wow; thank you so much, everyone! great ideas on ways to talk about it with my son. he is very high energy and loves to jump on me, so starting to talk about it now is a good plan. but he will love to kiss my stomach and give me check ups. and i'll love it too!

i've always been skinny and lately the myoma makes me look a little pregnant...i guess i'm afraid that i will be really swollen and somehow my metabolism will totally change after the surgery. i guess that probably won't happen.

i do trust my doctor (he did a myomectomy on me several years ago) so i'll try to remember that too.

and danni, thanks for saying "your uterus doesn't define your femininity." i know that, but it's always good to hear it again.

it really is nice to have a place to air my worries which sound silly but really aren't....thanks again.
Unread 09-29-2011, 07:38 AM
Re: Things that worry me

NONE of your concerns are silly. I felt silly calling my Dr.s office with questions that I felt they might see as silly. But since I found hystersisters....I have very little to call them for. And they never treated me as if my questions were silly anyways. Lol. I am not keeping my cervix..but have been reassured by many that though my sex life may be a little different, it will probably be better. I had a tube and ovary previously removed and though I was younger then, my metabolism kicked right back in as soon as I was up and most importantly, off the pain meds. They will slow metabolism while you are taking them. Same after I broke my neck...soon as I got off the pain meds...I slimmed back down. Don't get discouraged along the way. Try not to expect any thing to be "normal" or back to familiar until you have discontinued pain meds and resumed most of your physical activities. But the human body (tissues and muscles especially) have memory. You can stray from routine and it will remember when you return. Good luck ...
Unread 09-29-2011, 07:59 AM
Re: Things that worry me

Hi there! First of all, your worries are very valid and very normal. There are a lot of 'bad' stories out there, but please try to remember that there are just as many, if not more, 'good' stories, too. They just don't get as much attention. ;-)

When my DS was about 3, I had my tubes tied and was out of it for about three days afterward. I know it's not the same surgery, but there were similar restrictions. I just thought I'd try to give you some hope by saying we survived it just fine, he got that I was 'sick' and not able to play like usual. I am pretty sure that he will still know you love him even though you won't be able to run around and play for a short time.

There is no physical reason why you won't be able to orgasm again. You won't have uterine contractions with the big 'o' anymore, obviously, but that is just one tiny part of the whole process. It might not happen the first few times after you resume intercourse, but then again it might!

And to echo what the other ladies said about the 'sexless blob' nonsense . . . again, no physical reason why that should happen. You might have a swollen belly for a while, but that's just part of healing. I'm 2 weeks post-op and just this morning noticed a change in mine -- I didn't have a flat ab pre-op, but today it is definitely less swollen than it was yesterday!

I also agree, I think everyone has some fear of going under general anesthesia. But they will be monitoring your vital signs very, very closely while you are under, and every one in that room has had tons of training on how to keep you alive and well. It's a rational fear, but I have confidence that you will be fine.

Hope this helps! I'll be keeping you in my thoughts!

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