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My DH is not being nice! My DH is not being nice!

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  #1  
Unread 09-29-2011, 01:24 PM
My DH is not being nice!

Hello Ladies,

I'm scheduled for a full hysterectomy Oct. 19th and my DH is not having a very good attitude. I feel like I am alone with no one to talk to. He thinks I should not have the surgery.
What can I do to maybe help him with our communication line regarding this. Any suggestions?
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  #2  
Unread 09-29-2011, 01:26 PM
Re: My DH is not being nice!

why does he think you should haven't it?
  #3  
Unread 09-29-2011, 02:39 PM
Re: My DH is not being nice!

My dh was the exact same way! He didn't understand why "all of a sudden" the doc decided it was time for a hysterectomy and it's literally taken a month for him to come to terms with the fact that this is needed to restore my health and make me myself again. I've had issues for years and can no longer tolerate them. Have you talked to your DH about your issues and what the hysterectomy can mean down the road once you're healed? What about his feelings? I found that talking about his feelings first greatly helped open up our communication so he could understand what I've been dealing with all these years mostly silently and how this surgery will help me. HTH!

ps... we have the same surgery date!
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  #4  
Unread 09-29-2011, 03:06 PM
Re: My DH is not being nice!

I suggest taking him with you when you have appointments with your surgeon, and to any other pre op appts. It will also help him understand how to help you after the surgery. I'm wondering if he isn't supportive now what will things be like when you're recovering?
  #5  
Unread 09-29-2011, 03:09 PM
Re: My DH is not being nice!

It is none of his business. Tell him if he cant be supportive say nothing. Take care honey
  #6  
Unread 09-29-2011, 03:23 PM
Re: My DH is not being nice!

Hi,
I dont know your situation specifically, but do you think maybe your husband is scared? Does he know what your issues are and why you think you should have a hysterectomy? My advice would be to try to talk to him and find out what his concerns are, that way maybe youll understand why he is not for this, and you too can come to terms with the whole thing. Good luck to you.
Merr
ps-respectfully, of course it is his business, our husbands are our partners in life, and they are often affected almost as much as us by our gyn issues.
  #7  
Unread 09-29-2011, 04:15 PM
Re: My DH is not being nice!

I have to agree with Merr, it is his business, as he is your husband. My guess is that he's terrified about you being in surgery and a lot of men have difficulty seeing the people they care about in pain with no way to "fix it." Seriously, this is a massive issue for men, because part of their identity often comes from being able to fix things and make things better.

I agree with taking with him to your appointments. OR you can make a list of your symptoms, how long you've been suffering from each of them and how the surgery will help with those symptoms long term.

Be very open with him and let him know that you are nervous and you need his support and understanding. Ask him why he is against it and answer those concerns with your reasoning behind it. Explain to him why you need it. Also, let him hear it from your doctor if at all possible. My husband often has questions that are more technical then I care to know....I get queasy, but he has my full permission to talk to any of my doctors so he gets his "technical" answers. I get the answers I need to be well informed and knowledgeable, but he is more likely to want to know about HOW things are done, so if those are his questions, help him get those answers.

Good luck and I hope the two of you can communicate and get everything figured out before your surgery date!
  #8  
Unread 09-29-2011, 05:51 PM
Re: My DH is not being nice!

Thanks so much for responding. It really helps to hear from other woman that may have the same issues or women that understand.
  #9  
Unread 09-29-2011, 05:53 PM
Re: My DH is not being nice!

Nola70 we will have to keep in touch with our progress!!!!
Now I don't feel so alone.

THANKS!!!
  #10  
Unread 09-29-2011, 07:16 PM
Re: My DH is not being nice!

  Quote:
Originally Posted by babesk77 View Post
Hello Ladies,

I'm scheduled for a full hysterectomy Oct. 19th and my DH is not having a very good attitude. I feel like I am alone with no one to talk to. He thinks I should not have the surgery.
What can I do to maybe help him with our communication line regarding this. Any suggestions?
I am so sorry to hear that your husband is not being supportive.
Could be a whole lot of reasons.

Perhaps he is scared.

Perhaps he is worried about the financial aspect.

Perhaps he does not fully understand the reasons why you are having it done.

He is a man, and all men have faults.
Women too! ;0

Just love him, and express yourself to him.

Hang in there, girl.
Know that I am praying for you.
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