Scheduled dVH/RALH Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned) | HysterSisters
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Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned) Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

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Unread 10-06-2011, 09:00 AM
Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

I've been OK with everything, until last night. Started crying over the whole "never carry a baby again" aspect of this. I'm 31 years old. Everyone thinks it's no big deal, because we already have kids. A friend even commented "Wow, how lucky you'll never have to worry about pregnancy again!" Several other friends are pregnant right now, and should be delivering around the end of my 6-week recovery. These are dear, dear friends, and I worry that it will be hard seeing them with their newborns. Logically I know this is the right decision and it's taken months to get here. Logically I know another pregnancy would be dangerous to me. But my heart still grieves the end of this chapter of my life. I'm looking forward to being a mom with energy and health, but still.. (and yes, have tried many, many alternatives and consulted 4 doctors, including one out of state). I'm about 80% excited, but 20% sad...
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Unread 10-06-2011, 10:18 AM
Re: Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

Hi kbid
IMHO I think what you are feeling is completely normal. It is the end of a chapter of our lives. (I am 40 and am having similar feelings.) I am trying to focus on the positive while still acknowledging those feelings of sadness. It is a grieving process that does take time. Again my opinion. Best of luck to you kbid!
Unread 10-06-2011, 10:30 AM
Re: Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

although, I have a child, I'm sadden that the option to have more is being taken away for me...

I'm 60/40
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Unread 10-06-2011, 10:44 AM
Re: Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

I feel the same way hun I have one child and I'm 30 its sad to know I will never ever have any more babies and I'm like u I so many friends and family that r expecting .I'm sad but I know its for the best if u ever need to talk we r here for u.
Unread 10-06-2011, 11:04 AM
Re: Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

My last c-section I had a lot of damage and I had to have tubes removed and tons of clean up. It was sudden. I was 30... it was so hard knowing that it was the end of babies for me. I felt that way until I turned 40. Not saying that you will feel that way that long but it is normal. I think there is a want for most women. If there wasn't then kids may never be born...
I think the thing for me... was it got easier as I started to get some of my life back... No diapers... sleeping at night.... being able to go to a store and know my kids would not get lost ... being able to take a bath all by myself...ect...
It got to the point that I could never even dream about going back to the whole baby thing... I look forward to when my kids marry and I have grandkids. New chapter in my life...
I will say an extra prayer for all of you gals that feel like I did 14 years ago...
Unread 10-06-2011, 11:22 AM
Re: Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

Thank you for your sweet words of encouragement, Luv2Hum.

Another thing that's hard is, I am a homeschool mom. There is a small subset of homeschoolers who are "quiverfull" and believe that you should have as many children as possible. Not the vast majority by a long-shot, but I do know several families. I feel like half the people I know are saying "YAY! You don't have to worry about pregnancy anymore!" a quarter are saying "*GASP!* HOW could you EVER be so selfish?!" and another quarter are saying "Don't you think that's an awfully major step to take just because you're tired of periods?!"

Each side is oversimplifying the situation, has no idea the anguish (physically, mentally, and emotionally) to get to this point, the failed attempts to try other methods, not to mention the stress involved.... it's not like I woke up one day out of the blue and said "Hey, let's have a hysterectomy!"

It IS a major step. I wouldn't mind having more children. And I AM looking forward to a birth-control free life. Bits and pieces of every opinion are things I think about, worry about, and so forth. This is also why only a small handful of people know what's going on. It stinks.
Unread 10-06-2011, 12:50 PM
Re: Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

I am a homeschool mom too and my religion prevents contraceptives. When People would ask if I was going to have more than 3 and I would explain that I had tubes removed people I knew would always assume that I did it so I WOULD not get pregnant again and not because of medical issues. Some times the people I considered Christian and my friends were the meanest.
I feel for you.... The first choices for not being able to have a child because of health reasons are the hardest.
Prayers for you...
Unread 10-06-2011, 04:40 PM
Re: Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

I decided to not share any details regarding the nature of my surgery with anyone except my family and three closest friends. I didn't want to explain or justify my decision and it is so private and personal. I agree, it's been extremely difficult for me to deal with losing my uterus. Even though I wasn't planning another pregnancy, a hysterectomy is so final. This is something a lot of people don't understand.
Unread 10-06-2011, 06:47 PM
Re: Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

I am 32 and completely understand, I don't really want more kids but it is sad to not have the option if I should ever change my mind. it is the finality, n please don't listen to those people you were talking about, nobody knows what's best for you better than you do. I am thankful I found this site where there are other woman like us, who have been there, who know what we are going through. Head up : )
Unread 10-06-2011, 07:04 PM
Re: Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

I just wanted to say that what you are feeling is definitely normal and I can sympathize. I always wanted to have children and was unfortunately not able to. The choice to have a hysterectomy was a difficult one for me, but I believe it was the right one. I have medical issues that lead to this like most of us on here. Not to say that I would have died otherwise (I had endo, adeno, cysts), but I was not really living either, so this was the right course for me. I had a break-down the night before surgery; I was grieving. I still am. This is such a hard choice for all of us, no matter the circumstances. Please dont let others judgement of you bring you down, they cant really judge as they aren't you.

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