Scheduled dVH/RALH Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned) - Page 2 | HysterSisters
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Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned) Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

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  #11  
Unread 10-10-2011, 04:40 PM
Re: Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

Im 48 years old and already had a tubal ligation and still feel a sadness about having to do this... I planned to leave this world with all the parts I came with and feel betrayed by my own body. Im worried that I wont feel the same as a woman once this is done.
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  #12  
Unread 10-10-2011, 06:16 PM
Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Gardenangels View Post
Im 48 years old and already had a tubal ligation and still feel a sadness about having to do this... I planned to leave this world with all the parts I came with and feel betrayed by my own body. Im worried that I wont feel the same as a woman once this is done.
I was worried about how I'd feel after the surgery too. It was a difficult adjustment for me. But the more I heal and the less pain I have, the more I forget having the surgery and the more I feel like myself.
  #13  
Unread 10-10-2011, 11:05 PM
Re: Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

I was all excited about it until last week. I have four kids ranging from 18 to 8. My girls 9 and 8 were trying to explain to their friend in the car what was going to happen to me. I simplified it by saying their taking out my baby grower...wow...bam it hit me right then. I had only been thinking yeah no more bleeding yippie. Now every time I have to yell or break up a fight I remind myself do you really want to go through this again for 18 years. Since my girls are at the age of fighting almost every day it's almost become like a mantra in my head. I still flip flop constantly but I know that after I will be able to do more with my kids and have better quality time with them, not always saying I'm to tired or I'm in pain, I can't play or cuddle right now. Everything your feeling is normal and you can vent and cry here with the rest of us.
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  #14  
Unread 10-11-2011, 04:14 AM
Re: Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

I see youre three moths post-op now... how are you feeling?
  #15  
Unread 10-11-2011, 05:02 AM
Re: Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

I had a really hard time accepting that this was next step for me. I don't have any children, I am only 29, and I was very reluctant to take this step. I came to the decision after a lot of thought and a lot of tears that I couldnt live my life the way I had been. So, I had the hysterctomy, and even though my recovery hasnt been smooth or easy, I still think it was the right choice for me. I do admit, I still am struggling with the reality that I will never have children. I was watching a show tonight, and the main character was pregnant and kept talking about her uterus- I started crying and felt like I was going to choke on my mac and cheese. I had to leave the room. This is hard. And its ok to grieve. At least thats what I keep telling myself. Best of luck to you-
Merr
  #16  
Unread 10-11-2011, 06:32 AM
Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Gardenangels View Post
I see youre three moths post-op now... how are you feeling?
Turns out I'm a slow healer so I'm still having pain and swelly belly. Working full time again is challenging too. I'm still spending a lot of time with the heating pad on. I'm not yet at the point where I'm glad I had the surgery but I think that one day I will be. There have been a lot of tears and a lot of adjusting. My doctor keeps assuring me that I did the right thing. I'm thankful my family has been supportive and that I didn't experience complications.
  #17  
Unread 10-11-2011, 06:41 AM
Re: Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

Merr, (and anyone else this may apply to), it breaks my heart most for those who really wanted children and now it is no longer an option for them, I remember when I was trying to get pregnant n it just want happening for us, for a lil over 5 years I watched all these woman get pregnant, friends, on tv, and everywhere I went, pregnant people everywhere. I was in tears daily, n mad, was'nt I mad. Mad at myself, n my stupid defective body, mad that people would be like "we are trying" n ended up pregnant in a month or two, and most of all mad at all these woman or girls who didn't want their kids, treated them badly (abuse, neglect) etc... It took me a while to grieve and get past the anger and see the flip side of the coin. What my life could be without the burden of responsibility that goes along with having children. No crying, screaming, pooping thing that would demand all my time, attention and beauty sleep. No financial burden that goes with the territory I could buy that expensive pair of shoes or get a weekly mani/pedi, I could drive whatever kind of car I wanted without having to trade it in for something more "family friendly", I could pick up n move or travel whenever, I could be a work a holic or go back to school n have a great career, I could save for an awesome early retirement instead of college funds, n best yet I could get my baby/ kid fix through friends n family n be able to send them home when they get under your skin. You get to be the cool auntie instead of mean mommy. when you find yourself in that (i just can't stand it) place, just think about that other side of the coin, n if you decide you really need to have children there are other avenues. Head up, everything has a way of working out exactly the way it is supposed to. : )
  #18  
Unread 10-11-2011, 12:10 PM
Re: Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Merr View Post
hi,
I just wanted to say that what you are feeling is definitely normal and I can sympathize. I always wanted to have children and was unfortunately not able to. The choice to have a hysterectomy was a difficult one for me, but I believe it was the right one. I have medical issues that lead to this like most of us on here. Not to say that I would have died otherwise (I had endo, adeno, cysts), but I was not really living either, so this was the right course for me. I had a break-down the night before surgery; I was grieving. I still am. This is such a hard choice for all of us, no matter the circumstances. Please dont let others judgement of you bring you down, they cant really judge as they aren't you.
Merr
Same here!! If I didn't know better, I would have thought that I'm the one that typed that!!

It is hard I think whether you have children or not, whether you wanted more or not, or even if you are young or old. We have all lost (or are going to lose) a part of us. It is not a part that defines us as women, but an important part, nonetheless.

I think everyone goes through a grieving process before and even after surgery. I am still going through mine. I am at peace with my decision to have the hysterectomy, but it doesn't mean that I'm not sad about it. I see friends and family that are pregnant and I know that I will never have that. I will never know the bond that a mother has with her child, I will never know what it feels like to feel a baby kick inside of me. I will never see a little tiny person who looks just like me.....it is sad....BUT.......................
I also got my life back. I am no longer in pain, I am no longer bound to my bed or my bathroom 16 days every month. I am no longer swollen to the point that people actually think I'm pregnant when I'm not. My relationship with my husband is stronger than it has ever been. I have energy, I have color in my cheeks, and I'm HAPPY!!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that yes, it is sad to have to go through this and it is something that takes time to get over, but in my case, it was the best thing for me and I have no regrets whatsoever! I have suffered a great loss, but have gained so much in return. It was worth the sacrifice.
  #19  
Unread 10-11-2011, 03:41 PM
Re: Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

  Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarandspice View Post
Turns out I'm a slow healer so I'm still having pain and swelly belly. Working full time again is challenging too. I'm still spending a lot of time with the heating pad on. I'm not yet at the point where I'm glad I had the surgery but I think that one day I will be. There have been a lot of tears and a lot of adjusting. My doctor keeps assuring me that I did the right thing. I'm thankful my family has been supportive and that I didn't experience complications.
The heating pad has been my best friend too. Im so used to being in pain, its hard to remember when I wasnt. Im self employed, and have a physical job. Im very worried about the timeline for healing. I dont work, I dont get paid. I am fortunate in that I have a husband I can rely upon as well... no matter what, he'll be there. We just got married August 27th.. poor thing is getting ripped off for his newlywed time!
  #20  
Unread 10-11-2011, 05:50 PM
Is anyone else SAD about the surgery? (children mentioned)

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Gardenangels View Post
The heating pad has been my best friend too. Im so used to being in pain, its hard to remember when I wasnt. Im self employed, and have a physical job. Im very worried about the timeline for healing. I dont work, I dont get paid. I am fortunate in that I have a husband I can rely upon as well... no matter what, he'll be there. We just got married August 27th.. poor thing is getting ripped off for his newlywed time!
I'm sure he understands. Maybe plan a belated honeymoon, even if it means staying in a local hotel for a night or two... Go out for dinner, soak in the hot tub... A few months post op, and you should be good to go!
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