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I'm scheduling my hysterctomy in a few hours... I'm scheduling my hysterctomy in a few hours...

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  #1  
Unread 10-06-2011, 10:37 PM
I'm scheduling my hysterctomy in a few hours...

So.. I'm 21 and am going to my gynecologist to schedule a partial laparoscopic hysterectomy in just a few hours. A lot of different thoughts have come to mind in the past 24 hours, and I need to let them out. I wasn't quite sure where to post this honestly. Since I'm so close to scheduling the operation, I decided to post here. Sorry if it's meant to go somewhere else.

I was officially diagnosed with abnormal bleeding four years ago when I almost died from blood loss and anemia. Ever since my periods started, they've been a constant issue in my life--almost always accompanied by cramps so bad that I couldn't move for at least one to three days. Ever since my trip to the hospital four years ago I've been on pills. At first it was birth control pills (too many different ones to remember), which gave me all kinds of negative side-effects (including gaining a large amount of weight) while never quite stopping the bleeding. After that I was on pure hormones. I went through about a year of different estrogen pills--which were even worse than the birth control--before being put on a progesterone. It's been working most of the time. However, every few months the problem starts again, leading to different pills and more problems. I'm tired all the time. I have mood swings constantly. I can't seem to lose weight no matter what I do. I don't feel like myself at all (and haven't since these issues started). I have all types of side-effects, which are now interfering with not only my life, but also my schoolwork. And along with all of this, I'm still battling with my bleeding problem.

I've had several doctors over the years. They've done blood work, ultrasounds, explored my uterus, and have done many tests that I can't even remember. All have turned out negative or inconclusive. My problems are a complete mystery and many doctors have been afraid to do anything about it due to my age.

Frustrated, I searched for a new gyn, who would listen to me and help me fix this permanently. I had to jump through many hoops and overcome many obstacles to get to this point. My gyn says that an ablation is highly unlikely to work, nor will the mirena or any other IUD. A hysterectomy is the best (if not the only) option that will stop the bleeding, and after a few hours, I'll be able to schedule one.

I'm not sure what I'm feeling at this point. I've never wanted children. That part doesn't bother me at all. If I ever change my mind, (even if I wasn't getting a hysterectomy) I've always planned to adopt instead of having my own. I'm slightly angry and annoyed at all the things I've had to go through for my doctor to be able to do this--all of which were due to my age and my "not being old enough to make my own decisions" (according to so many people, doctors and otherwise). I'm afraid of surgery. Anesthesia has always caused me to panic, and I'm not looking forward to having to go though it again. My bleeding has made me paranoid about surgery. I keep thinking things along the lines of 'what if I start hemorrhaging and die while under the effects of anesthesia?' Logically, I see this as a fear of forced sleep that's no different from my fear of spiders--both of which are slightly irrational. I feel a slight sense of loss. My life for the past few years has been dedicated to fixing this problem. Once it's fixed, how do I go back to my normal life? I can barely even remember life before this. I'm hopeful and slightly optimistic. This could very well give me my life back. I could have the energy to do things that I've always wanted to do. I could never have to deal with immobilizing cramps and bleeding again. I could have the energy to exercise, get back down to my old weight, and live a healthier life. I'll no longer have to put my social life on hold because of pain or lack of energy. My thoughts are all jumbled.

I've thought this through over the years, and I believe that this is the right decision. However my mind dreams of an ideal world where I don't have to go through any of this, and tries to dissuade me occasionally. Somehow, just writing this makes me feel a little better.
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  #2  
Unread 10-06-2011, 10:45 PM
Re: I'm scheduling my hysterctomy in a few hours...

Hi Masani, and welcome. I'm so sorry you've been through so much. Have you been to a hematologist yet to rule out bleeding disorders? When I finally found a gyn who believed me, that was the first test she ordered, specifically Von Willebrand. I don't blame you for wanting to be done with your health troubles...
  #3  
Unread 10-07-2011, 10:45 AM
Re: I'm scheduling my hysterctomy in a few hours...

Thank you for the welcome. I was tested for a lot of bleeding disorders about 2 years ago. Everything came back negative.
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  #4  
Unread 10-07-2011, 02:15 PM
Re: I'm scheduling my hysterctomy in a few hours...

I am so sorry you have to deal with this at such a young age. I started having bleeding problems about a year ago, and it's no fun. You have to schedule your life around your bleeding. It's hard. We didn't go on vacation (even for a weekend) this summer because of my unpredictable bleeding. I've actually been house-bound since early April because of it.

Your sense of loss and fear is normal. Most people are afraid of things like this. Maybe you can talk to your doctor about this and perhaps he/she can give you more information or just some kind words to help with your fear.

I will tell you that my life has gotten tremendously better since my hysterectomy. I'm still on the mend, technically, so there's still things I can't do. But I am looking forward to not worrying about Christmas travel, and I'm thinking about the spring when we can go out and do things and not worry about what's going on with my body. Like you, my life has been ruled by my bleeding, and it's been wonderful to have my life back.

I hope that you are able to get relief from this soon - even if it means surgery. Don't hesitate to talk to your doctor about things you're scared of. They can help you, they've gone through this with other women! My doctor was wonderful, and I'm very thankful for that.

Good luck and you will be in my prayers.
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