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How much help will I REALLY need? How much help will I REALLY need?

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Unread 10-09-2011, 11:27 PM
How much help will I REALLY need?

I am a stay-home mom of four, ages 2-8. I generally handle everything related to home - cooking, cleaning, laundry, yardwork, kid-chauffeur, and so forth. DH doesn't MIND helping, but I do the brunt of the house stuff since I'm here all day. He's planning on taking off 1.5 weeks after my surgery to help out; I'm planning on planting myself in bed. I'm worried/curious about how things will go after that point. My 2 yo still sleeps in a crib (lifting in and out); 2-story house. The kids are great, but obviously need supervision. I have had a couple people tell me they were "totally back to normal" two weeks after da Vinci, but they were also in their 50s/60s and had no children at home. I know the lifting is out of the question, but how much help with "everything else" will I need? How many naps will I need, lol? We are trying to get things fixed up as best we can, leading up to surgery - even getting Christmas down in mid-November so I can help pull stuff out of the attic. The better prepared I can be, mentally, for how much help I'll need after the fact, the better. My mom is planning on taking a leave of absence from her job if I need her. Thoughts??
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Unread 10-10-2011, 01:15 AM
Re: How much help will I REALLY need?

I was not "totally back to normal" after two weeks and I had da vinci. I don't think lifting baby 2yr old in and out of crib is a good idea even after two weeks. I was able to do stairs but slowish. I did drive earlier than I was told but I drive an SUV and it was impossible to turn around far enough to see my blind spot. I was 40 when I had my surgery. Naps? Ok so I tried to go back to work by telecommuting from home at the start of week 3. I absolutely had to take a nap for lunch hour. I could NOT stay awake. you'll be able to get around by yourself fine by week 2 but you'll just be tired as all get out. It was very deceptive - I don' t know if my hubby really understood. He saw me walking around fine, talking fine, no pain to complain about, I made meals, etc. But I was just exhausted all the time. For weeks after. I'm at 6 months now and I finally feel normal. I regret going back to work as early as I did. If I had it back I would take off 3 weeks minimum, 4 would have been the best. It sounds like you have a great support network. I think you're going to need help with house chores. See how it goes. I would expect to be feeling quite tired for awhile.
Unread 10-10-2011, 12:15 PM
Re: How much help will I REALLY need?

I am a stay at home mom to 5 kids. Aged 15 down to 6. I came home the same day as my surgery and my husband went back to work the next day. He did cook dinner for the first two nights. I had my 15 year old carry laundry baskets downstairs so I could do the laundry. The kids also ran the vacuum. I did get tired in the afternoons for a couple weeks. But, I was doing light housework and cooking within a couple days. I was driving and running errands and grocery shopping within the week.
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Unread 10-12-2011, 10:00 PM
Re: How much help will I REALLY need?

I had meals brought in for a week. My DH was great at doing dishes but no one vacuumed in my house for 6 weeks because I was determined to follow Dr. orders and he didn't get around to it. DH would do the laundry and I would fold it and he would put it away. Shopping is really difficult so be sure to stock up and have someone able to restock your frig for the first few weeks. No driving for 2 weeks for me. YOu forget how often you just jump in the car to go get something. Stairs will be okay after a few days, but a 2 year old is going to be your biggest challenge. You might be okay after 1 and 1/2 weeks with the DH at home. I slept alot the first few days but as soon as I went off the hard drugs I only needed a short nap now and then. If you sleep too much during the day you have insomnia at night... not fun. Your older kids can really help. Give them assignments to help you out during your recovery....feeding the dog, getting the mail, unloading the dishwasher etc. Keep you mom on call for the times you need some respite. You will do great!! Just follow the Dr.s rules! Really, I hear so many woman who just go ahead and do what they have been advised against. That's really not too smart. I had a nice steady recovery. YOu will too,
Unread 10-12-2011, 10:06 PM
Re: How much help will I REALLY need?

The best thing about this website is that it's scared me in a GOOD way. I'm generally "pretty good" about following doctor's orders, but listen to and trust my body. Reading about Da Vinci surgery, I'm pretty sure that my body will tell me I'm doing better than I really am. I will certainly follow the doctor's rules! My 8 year old can get the 2 year old out of the crib... maybe we need to work on getting him INTO the crib. I've been trying to get him more independent these past couple weeks; on the one hand things would be easier if he were older -- but on the other hand, do I really want to go through all these health issues for a longer time span until "everything else" is ideal. Sooner sounds better than later, for sure! Thank you all for your feedback!

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