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My uterus is private, thanks anyway! My uterus is private, thanks anyway!

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  #1  
Unread 10-11-2011, 11:00 PM
My uterus is private, thanks anyway!

This morning, 7:15 a.m., I was greeted at work with a bright, shining face saying "So, I hear you're having a procedure!" Right there where people walk by to get to their mailboxes, she was just giddy to share that she's having a hysterectomy, too, and was mine going to be done vaginally?

I find that the word "vaginally" doesn't usually come up in my public conversations, and I'd just as soon keep it that way. It didn't help when I told her mine would most likely end up being abdominal. Her face fell into a mask of abject sympathy, which made me feel like I'm going to be in hell for the next couple of months while she will be partying on the beach.

Maybe she's nervous and was looking for a fellow traveler. But I felt utterly exposed, like my uterus was on display for everyone who walked by. No one else knows that I had to sit at my desk and cry for a few minutes, then pull myself together to be pleasant for the rest of the day.

I'm a teacher and tonight we had conferences. So, after our conversation I had to work a full day with kids and then spend 4 hours at night explaining to parents that I'll be gone for 6 weeks, but don't worry, everything will be fine.

Just had to vent. I laughed it off at school, but it really bugs the crap out of me. Oh, and just to top it off--she's a school counselor. She should know better.
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  #2  
Unread 10-11-2011, 11:55 PM
Re: My uterus is private, thanks anyway!

I can certainly understand your frustration with her revealing your confidential circumstances. I teach as well and had the same challenge of explaining to everyone that I would be gone for 2 months, but not to worry. I told my colleagues that I was having surgery, but not the nature. A few women guessed and privately shared their own stories. However, all of my colleagues were very respectful of leaving me to share whatever information I wanted.
  #3  
Unread 10-12-2011, 01:12 AM
Re: My uterus is private, thanks anyway!

I am a teacher, too. I have one co-worker who thinks it is her job to get details. I ignore her. I will tell my students a week or so before ny surgery as they are all high school students and I want them to know that I will be gone but well taken care of. They know of my constant back pain and are very sweet. Ignore the nosies or lie. No one's business. I might just tell my nosey neighbor that I am coming back with a new nose!
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  #4  
Unread 10-12-2011, 07:57 AM
Re: My uterus is private, thanks anyway!

Thank you for understanding! Everyone else has been nothing but supportive and respectful.

I hate being so fragile that one person can send me reeling like that. This whole thing has been a reminder that I'm not always in control of what happens, or how I feel about it. But it's also a chance to realize how many people care about me.
  #5  
Unread 10-12-2011, 08:40 AM
Re: My uterus is private, thanks anyway!

I totally understand. I wasn't interested in talking about a vaginal procedure or abnormal bleeding at work, nor any cancer questions. Maybe it shouldn't bother me but it did. I'm glad everyone else has been respectful. And I suspect the one was trying to be supportive but missed the mark. It's an emotional time, hang in there. Best wishes for your surgery.
  #6  
Unread 10-12-2011, 08:59 AM
Re: My uterus is private, thanks anyway!

yeah, i can understand this can be sensitive and you should treat it as private on your job. but it's good to have somebody you can talk to candidly about it. someone who will understand. that's why we are here for you cause we are going through it too.
here on my job it's mostly a lot of women and the atmosphere is casual and laid back (and it depends on the women you can talk to about it here) but the ladies that i talked to here says, "oh gurl! you will be fine! i had that several years ago! so they give me support
  #7  
Unread 10-12-2011, 09:24 AM
Re: My uterus is private, thanks anyway!

On a little more careful note.... when I was younger I worked at <name of Company removed>. I was actually let go for what they called "sexual harrassment"
My son was 4 and he needed to have surgery to fix a hernia. When a co-worker asked about it I explained carefully, it was "down there". Someone else heard the convo and decided after eavesdropping......they were offended. Most places have a no tolerance policy. Be careful. You have EVERY right to privacy.
  #8  
Unread 10-12-2011, 09:32 AM
Re: My uterus is private, thanks anyway!

  Quote:
Originally Posted by chryvine View Post
On a little more careful note.... when I was younger I worked at <name of Company removed>. I was actually let go for what they called "sexual harrassment"
My son was 4 and he needed to have surgery to fix a hernia. When a co-worker asked about it I explained carefully, it was "down there". Someone else heard the convo and decided after eavesdropping......they were offended. Most places have a no tolerance policy. Be careful. You have EVERY right to privacy.
yeah, that is very true. i will be careful. thanks for the heads up about that.
  #9  
Unread 10-12-2011, 09:39 AM
Re: My uterus is private, thanks anyway!

I'm sorry you've been through such an upsetting (infuriating?) experience! I'm a nurse, so the things we talk about at work (professionally and amongst ourselves) would make most people blush or puke, but I still didn't tell anyone about my hysterectomy until about two weeks before. And even then, I only told the people who needed to know. Eventually everyone else found out anyway, which is fine because I don't mind talking about it and what led up to it now that it's over.

I hope you are able to find a way to let your co-worker know that you prefer to keep your procedure and the details thereof a bit more under wraps than she does. I would like to think that she didn't mean any harm, was just looking for a 'sister' or someone to talk to. You are in my thoughts!!
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