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I think I am depressed or maybe just scared I think I am depressed or maybe just scared

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  #1  
Unread 10-12-2011, 04:54 PM
I think I am depressed or maybe just scared

Surgery is the 14th (2 days away) and I cant seem to leave the house. I am on the verge of tears all the time and seem sick to my stomach. I was making my daughters bed today and thought what if I die during surgery and who will make her bed. I cant stop thinking about all of the what if's they are making me nuts. I am so scared. Scared isnt even the word I want to crawl in a hole and hide from all of this. I am terrified beyond words. I was thinking of making an apt with my doctor to tell her all of my fears( she is not the doctor doing the surgery) I have known her for years and trust what she has to say. I am scared I wont make it through surgery. I know I have written a previos post similar to this but I have no one to talk to and am a mess. Tomorrow is going to be very hard for me. Ugh just get me past this and on to recovery with my babies.
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  #2  
Unread 10-12-2011, 05:02 PM
Re: I think I am depressed or maybe just scared

I havent had my surgery yet, but have been under anesthesia in the past, and let me assure you... the hurdle is NOT the anesthesia... its the healing and not pushing your own limits. Youre going to wake up, and the beds will still need making when you get home. Im thinking of you... let us know how youre doing WHEN you get home <3
  #3  
Unread 10-12-2011, 05:13 PM
Re: I think I am depressed or maybe just scared

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Gardenangels View Post
I havent had my surgery yet, but have been under anesthesia in the past, and let me assure you... the hurdle is NOT the anesthesia... its the healing and not pushing your own limits. Youre going to wake up, and the beds will still need making when you get home. Im thinking of you... let us know how youre doing WHEN you get home <3
Thank you very much. I am so thankful I found this site. It is very good to know that I am not alone in this journey. I need to push all these horrid thoughts away and focus on recovery.

Aunt Flo decided to show up today also to make her final appearance and I think her adding her crazy hormones dont help me any either. lol
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  #4  
Unread 10-12-2011, 08:58 PM
Re: I think I am depressed or maybe just scared

Hi, I'm nervous too. My surgery is next Friday and I'm experiencing much of what you've expressed, but I keep telling myself that this is important for me in the long run, so I can be healthy 10-20 years from now and still enjoying my children when they are older. I also reassure myself by knowing this is the most common surgery performed worldwide and women have been having it done for decades. I have to have faith and trust in the medical experts and know everything is going to be okay. But, certainly, I will be glad when it is over. Best of luck to you on Friday.
  #5  
Unread 10-13-2011, 03:44 AM
Re: I think I am depressed or maybe just scared

  Quote:
Originally Posted by MellyDowns View Post
Surgery is the 14th (2 days away) and I cant seem to leave the house. I am on the verge of tears all the time and seem sick to my stomach. I was making my daughters bed today and thought what if I die during surgery and who will make her bed. I cant stop thinking about all of the what if's they are making me nuts. I am so scared. Scared isnt even the word I want to crawl in a hole and hide from all of this. I am terrified beyond words. I was thinking of making an apt with my doctor to tell her all of my fears( she is not the doctor doing the surgery) I have known her for years and trust what she has to say. I am scared I wont make it through surgery. I know I have written a previos post similar to this but I have no one to talk to and am a mess. Tomorrow is going to be very hard for me. Ugh just get me past this and on to recovery with my babies.
Hi hun...

what u are feeling is very NORMAL u will make it thru...i met a 70 year old with complications with her health and she made it thru just fine....she was scared too...I was scared too and I made it thru....pray to god to make everything go smoothly and u recover well....

the real task in all this is the recovery....the sleep u will get during your op will be so restful...i always find that when i wake up from anesthisia i just want to sleep again as its so restful.....just pray for calm and peace in your heart body mind and soul.....

god is great dont be afraid....call on him to get u thru....

we are all here to support u...u will get thru this...xxxxxxx
  #6  
Unread 10-13-2011, 06:20 AM
Re: I think I am depressed or maybe just scared

My surgery is tomorrow too, and I have felt like I was Cybil lately - that I had multiple personalities and don't know which one may come out at any given time Like you, I am beyond nervous about tomorrow, and am afraid something is going to happen to leave my son without his mother. BUT, if it is any consolation (which I KNOW first hand is easier said than done), a good friend of mine is the head of anesthesiology at a different hospital than the one I am going to. And according to him, who I completely trust, you have a greater risk of something happening to you on the way to the hospital than you do while under anesthesia. I had a friend with many many health issues have surgery yesterday, and she came out just fine. And, not that it makes any sense, but the only thing that I keep trying to hold onto today is that once they give me the "I don't give a **** about anything" drug - nurse's terms, lol, the next thing I know I will be waking up and it will be all over. So while our friends and family watch the clock waiting for the time to pass, we are blissfully ignorant. I will be thinking of you, and saying a prayer for the both of us. I want some good positive stories for us to tell on the post-op board!
  #7  
Unread 10-13-2011, 06:55 AM
Re: I think I am depressed or maybe just scared

Your feelings are normal and to be expected. I have 4 sons (3 adult & 1 minor) AND 3 grandsons, parents, siblings, etc We all have something to lose if something goes wrong and it's so easy to say oh don't worry you'll be fine but I bet a small percentage really believe that and will not believe it until we wake up.

I can honestly tell you that I have NO fears of this surgery. It could be because it will be the 3rd time that I have had surgery or that I just trust my doctor and the facility I am having the surgery at and I really can only hope, wish and pray for the best.

TRY to think about the positive results that will happen BECAUSE of this surgery..these feelings should outweigh your fears. You will be able to be an even better, less stressed parent so you can continue to make those beds and kiss your babies cheeks. I ONLY think of the positive results...the negative thoughts will have me under my bed on the day of the surgery LOL

BELIEVE it or not but you really will be fine and we will be here for you so you can post your recuperation to help other sisters that feel JUST as you do. HUGS to you!!!
  #8  
Unread 10-13-2011, 08:32 AM
Re: I think I am depressed or maybe just scared

  Quote:
Originally Posted by MellyDowns View Post
Surgery is the 14th (2 days away) and I cant seem to leave the house. I am on the verge of tears all the time and seem sick to my stomach. I was making my daughters bed today and thought what if I die during surgery and who will make her bed. I cant stop thinking about all of the what if's they are making me nuts. I am so scared. Scared isnt even the word I want to crawl in a hole and hide from all of this. I am terrified beyond words. I was thinking of making an apt with my doctor to tell her all of my fears( she is not the doctor doing the surgery) I have known her for years and trust what she has to say. I am scared I wont make it through surgery. I know I have written a previos post similar to this but I have no one to talk to and am a mess. Tomorrow is going to be very hard for me. Ugh just get me past this and on to recovery with my babies.
I too felt the same way for days before my surgery. The day before I just couldn't shut off all the "what ifs" in my brain. This is perfectly normal. As soon as I saw my Dr. at the hospital and after speaking to the anesthesiologist I felt so much better. Next thing I knew it was over and 5 weeks later here I am feeling pretty good! Best wishes!!
  #9  
Unread 10-13-2011, 09:00 AM
Re: I think I am depressed or maybe just scared

Thank you so very much everyone. I am going to try to get as much stuff done today to keep my mind busy. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. It eases my heart and mind reading everything you ladies post. I will update everyone after surgery and am sure I'll be on here tonight and in the morning :-)
  #10  
Unread 10-13-2011, 09:17 AM
Re: I think I am depressed or maybe just scared

It is perfectly normal for you to have these feelings. Surgery of any kind is scary and it can really make our minds do crazy things.

You WILL be fine though. You are doing the right thing by staying busy today to keep your mind off things as much as possible.

Please know that we are all here for you and will do everything we can to comfort you and let you know that you will be okay. .
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