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Too Funny-- You May Be a Flooder If... (by hystersister Len) Too Funny-- You May Be a Flooder If... (by hystersister Len)

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Unread 12-17-2001, 05:51 AM
Too Funny-- You May Be a Flooder If... (by hystersister Len)

I found an old post in an old thread about flooding. It was so good and so funny I copied and pasted and wanted you all to see it. It is by Len from western washington and is originally dated July 17th, 2001. I figure we can use all the humor we can get around here! Do you see yourself in her post?
You may be "flooder" IF:

You have five pairs of jeans, and they're all black. And your professional wardrobe is black, too. (It worked for Johnny Cash!)

You carry a spare pair of black jeans in your car.

You carry plastic bags or newspapers in your car.

You've ever driven to work, got out of the car, and climbed right back in (with a newspaper on the seat!!).

The door on the bathroom is still swinging from the last time you were there and it's time to go again.

You filled your purse with "sanitary products" in the morning, but you ran out of supplies and had to buy several boxes on your lunch hour.

You have mini pads, thin maxis, super maxis, overnight maxis, regular tampons, super tampons and super-plus tampons in your cupboard and you wonder if you should pick up another box, "just in case".

You've ever declined to sit because you know you'll leave a stain.

Waking up in a puddle of blood no longer elicits any reaction from either you or your husband. You just roll to a drier spot.

You have rubber sheets on your bed, not the kids'. (Another good reason to have a waterbed.)

You're at hystersisters!

Glad to hear that you're not a "flooder". It's a messy and embarassing way to live. A very dear friend of mine had her moment of truth when she stood up at a business meeting (with all men), in her pink suit and pearls, and "flooded" all over the gold carpet. A kind gentleman (with a hyster wife) covered her with his coat and helped her to her car.

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Unread 12-17-2001, 07:15 AM

this thread cracked me up.....I AM that woman......the black jeans, the garbage bags kept in the car, the trips for groceries to come home empty handed, not to mention restaurant dinners that end up being "drive-thru" dinners because "someone" can't get out of the car afterall...........It seems pretty pathetic alot of days to have to live like this, but I'm glad I'm not alone, and I'm glad we can see the humor in it.....
Unread 12-17-2001, 03:43 PM
Too Funny-- You May Be a Flooder If... (by hystersister Len)


Boy am I glad those days are over! How about checking the chair each time you stood up or just knowing you can't stand up!

It has been so long, that I don't know if I am brave enough yet to buy anything but black! Hopefully that day will come soon!
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Unread 12-17-2001, 08:54 PM
Too Funny-- You May Be a Flooder If... (by hystersister Len)

What a hoot!!!! I thought I was bad because I would wake up in the morning and have to wash my pj's and sheets if I didn't wake up several times during the night - but I always managed to "contain" myself at work by running to the bathroom often (although there was no room for anything but sanitary products in my purse). My sister has some great stories of "leaving her mark" before her hyst!

Thanks for the laugh!
Unread 12-18-2001, 04:41 AM

That is too funny!! I can really relate to newpaper or plastic bag for car seat. My Jeep is my pride and joy. When cleaning it out yesterday, getting ready big day, I found seat barrier I had borrowed from work umder the seat. ( It's like a mini mattress pad) It brought a smile to my face when I realized " I will have no use for that really soon"!!! Yippeee, thanks for sharing, I needed a good laugh!!
Unread 12-18-2001, 06:31 PM
Len here

It's me, Len, former flooder. Now a veritable desert.

As you know, my surgery was back in June. And I've been blissfully dry and am so, so, so, so, so happy that I had my surgery. I feel absolutely fabulous.

I actually had to go buy a pair of black pants to wear with Christmas tops!!! Since my surgery I've bought pale blue jeans, dark blue jeans, green cords, off-white cords and grey drawstring pants. Took the newspaper/garbage bag stash out of my car, and bought a bought a really cute, med-small purse. I buy white undies and picked up nice bright new sheets.

I was attending a conference and had trouble locating the bathroom, since I rarely need one these days! As I was peering here and there a lady came buy and directed me in. "It's right here...I spend most of time in here." Though a stranger, I just had tell her that I had surgery in June, and it was great. She smiled and said that yes, she'd been thinking about it. I wished her luck.

Merry Christmas everyone.
Unread 12-19-2001, 10:03 AM
More "you might be a flooder"...

I was howling when I ready this! Thought of a few of my own.


You Might Be a Flooder if:

1) The first thing you look for in the newspaper are the ads - to see which store has super plus tampons, overnight pads, and Depends on sale.

2) You plan your office meeting schedule, vacations, and dentist appointments around your periods.

3) You don't remember just using one tampon at a time!

4) You're always the last to leave a room after a meeting - just in case you've had an accident.

5) You'd never consider getting a new car with any light colored seats.

6) You always take an extra suitcase with you when you travel - filled with your "supplies" in case your period is early.

7) When you get to your vacation destination, the first thing you find is the drugstore closest to your hotel and make sure your DH has the directions on how to get to it and when it closes.

8) On the worst days of your period, your bathroom and your sheets look like someone butchered a hog inside your house.

9) During the time of your period, the most exercise you can get is walking to the bathroom every 10 minutes because you can't leave your house to walk outside.

10) You buy underwear based on whether or not overnight pads will stick firmly to it and if blood will permanently stain it.

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