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*THIS* close to backing out!  Help! *THIS* close to backing out! Help!

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Unread 10-17-2011, 08:39 PM
Re: *THIS* close to backing out! Help!

First of all, you are in the right place for help. hugs to you!

There is a lot of good advice so far. What I suggest is a second opinion, mostly to, understand other surgical possibilities. Recovery time was very important to me, so I went with a davinci assisted lapracopic surgery. My uterus was about 10-11weeks in size, plus I had a prolapse, stage 3, that they found and repaired. Recovery was uncomplicated and fast. Had surgery late on Friday, went home on saturday, started back to work in a chair at home on Tuesday for a few hours a day, and was back to normal workload, but not lifting weight, the following Monday. I have 5 small scars on my belly. Cervix is intact, as all of the work was above it. Now 10 weeks post surgery I would do it again in a heartbeat. I had great support from my husband and daughter, my job and both docs. My regular gyn supported and facilitated my decision to go with a surgery that he did not perform and in fact he assisted the urogyn who did it.

Also if your second opinion can come from a urogyn, that would be great and may save time down the road since they can fix what they find.

I have my ovaries and am still having cycles at 54. I did not want to do HRT and was concerned about the difficulty of getting it right.

Only you can make the final decision, but know that the vast number of women who have this do just fine. and swelly belly is temporary - my belly is actually smaller post surgery!
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Unread 10-17-2011, 09:03 PM
Re: *THIS* close to backing out! Help!

Don't worry! I am 5 weeks post op. First week was roughest with pain and movement but I kept going. Walked, shopped, puttered around the house. Pace yourself. I went back to work part days at 2.5 weeks post op to alleviate boredom. I'll stay on part days for a while yet. I do get tired.

I was scared too. Cried, freaked out and drove my dh crazy. All went well. TAH but kept my ovaries. I had a fibroid the size of a 6 month pregnancy. It has all been positive so far. Bladder issues gone, back ache gone, leg muscle spasms and achy feeling gone, swelly belly hanging around (no big deal), bleeding gone. Dr cleared us for external hanky panky and all seems to be in working order.

Nothing I can say will make you less scared but I am glad I went through with it. You will be too.
Unread 10-17-2011, 10:13 PM
Re: *THIS* close to backing out! Help!

Trust yourself. You will make the right decision. You know you better than anybody else does. Most of us are stronger than we think. Have faith in yourself and your decision.
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Unread 10-17-2011, 11:00 PM
Re: *THIS* close to backing out! Help!

As far as the fear of dying...I finally had to come to terms with the fact that if the good Lord was gonna take me, he was gonna take me that day surgery or no surgery. Second...swelly belly is not a life long thing...obviously it will be swollen to start, but will gradually get better as you recover. I was walking mile exactly a week after my Da Vinci hysterectomy. You will be fine! And take my advice-quit reading stuff-more often than not the people who have problems are more prone to share their stories. Blessings!
Unread 10-18-2011, 12:23 AM
Re: *THIS* close to backing out! Help!

From what I have read on here the sex gets better. As for the swelly belly it will go away and you won't have to worry about having a pooched out belly anymore. Some people find the abdominal binder helpful, however in my opinion if your working out regularly before surgery you may not need it as your abdominal muscles will be stronger then someone who doesn't work out at all(like me). Most of the people on here having hormone issues have had their ovaries removed. As for becoming fat, irritable and bald, I know many women who I've always thought of as beautiful and super nice and never knew until I started talking about my surgery, that they had also had the surgery. As for your concerns about surviving the surgery, your young ad healthy with the only exception being the reason for this surgery. Your dr sounds like he is looking out for you.

I'm just looking forward to getting a few hours of sleep without being disturbed...lol.

Good luck with your decision and surgery if you decide to go ahead with it.
Unread 10-18-2011, 08:56 AM
Re: *THIS* close to backing out! Help!

Thank you so much, calnative! I'm so glad that your surgery went well, that you're healing now, and are feeling better than before the surgery. What you said is reminiscent of what my dr.'s nurse told me of many women that she'd talked to who had had this procedure, saying that after the surgery they really felt so much better and even went as far as to say they didn't realize how bad they were feeling before the surgery. I hope you continue to heal well and deal with the HRT. I'm sorry to hear that your ovaries "quit" after surgery...didn't realize that could happen (I knew that their function would be altered, or could be, at least)...I hope the HRT works for you.

I know this is something I have to do, just don't want to. I live in a rural area where there is only ONE gyn...the next closest area where a gyn can be located is over an hour away (where my dr. is) and I guess I just haven't been willing to find another dr. in order to get a 2nd opinion, especially after all of the research that I've done. That may sound foolish, I know, but I do trust my dr. to be conservative in his approach. He found the fibroid in 1999 and adopted an attitude of keeping an eye on the thing and kind of leaving it up to me with regards to my comfort level, etc. He's not been pushing me into anything. I know nothing of the other gyns in the area where he is, or in the other metropolitan area over an hour away to the south of our area, so would just be blindly seeking for another gyn in order to get a 2nd opinion which more than likely will be the same as what my dr. has recommended. I looked into the procedure where the blood supply to the fibroid is cut off via an implant placed in the femoral artery, but that's very risky and not advised, so I guess a partial hysterectomy is my only course of action (my fibroid is posterior, so I guess that knocks out myomectomy?) Anyway, thanks for replying and telling me your story and offering some words of advice and comfort. I now just need to find a way to accept that this is going to happen and think positively, especially for the next month while I wait for my surgery date. I hope you continue to heal well. Take care!
Unread 10-18-2011, 09:00 AM
Re: *THIS* close to backing out! Help!

Thanks, Zenyatta5! You sound really encouraging as well as practical and that's what I need right now. I'm glad to hear that you continued to be an active person after your surgery. Exercise is a BIG part of my life and I am NOT comfortable with the idea of just turning into some sedentary blob who gets no more exercise than an occasional stroll. I know I will have to give up my workouts for a while (my dr.'s nurse has told me that initially I won't be able to lift or do anything that would cause a jarring of my body, like my cardio workouts, but that I could, in time, walk or ride a bike). I know I really need to stop looking online for info, as so much stuff out there is negative. I guess it's a fine line between being informed and then just scaring yourself to death! haha! Meanwhile, thanks for the response and the encouragement! Take care!
Unread 10-18-2011, 09:25 AM
Re: *THIS* close to backing out! Help!

Thanks, mjd, for your thoughtful response. I don't think that having just the fibroid is an option. I'm not sure why, but I suspect possibly because it's "posterior" (toward my back) that might be more of a problem. I do appreciate the fact that my dr. has not been pressuring me to do this. He discovered the fibroid in 1999 when he was doing my tubal ligation and has left it all up to me. It didn't cause any problems for many years, but in the last couple of years, I've been having difficulty with sciatica, lower back pain, and pelvic heaviness. I talked to my dr.'s nurse about just having the fibroid removed and even if that were a possibility, she said that women who tend to have large fibroids tend to grow more of them, so that if part of my interest in having this done was HRT (due to some hormonal issues I'm having), then that would not really be a good choice for me as I would probably tend to grow more fibroids, especially with HRT.

I don't know...I know once it's done, there's no backing out...and I realize that I am having problems caused by the fibroid (like right now...my lower back is killing me!)...it's just the thought of taking the risk of having major surgery AND the hormonal effects that I may suffer afterward. I'm sorry to hear that you had some post op problems and hope that you're doing well now.

I really appreciate your response...all sound advice. Now I just need to get it really settled in my mind that this is going to happen and try to not freak out. I want to be informed, but not needlessly scare myself either. I really appreciate your reply! Take care!
Unread 10-18-2011, 09:35 AM
Re: *THIS* close to backing out! Help!

Hi Inevitable and thanks for sharing! I'm so sorry you're so freaked out but I totally understand. I feel like my body is backing me into a corner. I am a relatively healthy person, otherwise. I eat right, exercise, don't smoke, and really don't have health issues. I had my tubal done in 1999 in order to go off of the pill that I had been on for 16 years (didn't like being on that for that long) and until the last couple of years, really didn't have any issues. I knew I had the fibroid, but it wasn't affecting me...no bad periods, no bad cramping, regular periods, no heavy bleeding. But then about 2 years ago I started having sciatic pain. That has increased to lower back pain. THEN I started having hormonal issues in the last few months...major hot flashes and hair loss! I can't even consider HRT while carrying this stupid fibroid around, as it will "feed" the fibroid. I think that both you and I need to try very hard to calm down and BREATHE (as someone here put it.)

How old are you? What kind of hysterectomy is your dr. recommending? (Full or partial?) Will you be keeping your ovaries and/or cervix? Is this because of fibroids? I had a friend who opted for a uterine ablation instead of hysterectomy and it worked for her, so is that possibly a consideration for you? It's not for me as I have just the 1 large fibroid and not a uterine wall filled with smaller fibroids. I'd be happy to keep on chatting with you here, so feel free to contact me. I have gotten back into yoga recently in order to try to de-stress. It's not a cure all, but it HAS helped me. The waiting around for my surgery date to come up, is, I think, the worst! I'll just be glad when it's over. I have a hard time being a "glass half full" person, but am really trying hard NOT to look at all that can go wrong. I laid awake last night while having a hot flash, with my mind racing! Today I feel better...so one day at a time I guess? I hope you can get some peace of mind and find some way of de-stressing. Look into all your options. Take care and keep in touch! Thanks for replying!
Unread 10-18-2011, 10:03 AM
Re: *THIS* close to backing out! Help!

Thank you so much, Amoo! Am so glad to hear your surgery went well and that you're recovering nicely! Your dr. sounds wonderful in that he was not threatened by you getting a 2nd opinion and going with another procedure/method that was done by another dr.! I know I should probably get a 2nd opinion, but as I posted previously, I live in a rural area where we only have 1 gyn...nearest other areas with gyns to us is either to the north or south of us, over an hour away no matter where you go. I know nothing of the other dr.'s in either area (other than mine, who is also not in my immediate vicinity) so I'd be blindly shopping around. I had consulted with a different "women's health facility" a while back about my hormonal issues and wasn't too impressed...felt like a # and not a real person. My dr. has not been pushy about me having this surgery...he's been in practice for many years and performed my tubal ligation in 1999 (had ZERO problems with that...one of the easiest things I've ever done...didn't even have the post-op stuff that a lot of women told me I'd have (like lots of pain and discomfort), but then again, that was a LONNNG time ago! lol! I know that's really not enough of a reason for me to not get a 2nd opinion, but it's kind of where I'm at right now.

I'm also glad to hear that your belly is smaller now...I was hoping that would be the case with me, but then after reading about "swelly belly" I freaked! By the way...what IS 'swelly belly' and why do women who have this surgery get it?

Anyway, I hope you continue to recuperate nicely. I am clinging to positive stories like yours to help me get through this time of waiting around for my surgery date. I need to not freak out and majorly stress...my hair's thinning rapidly enough as it is! LOL! Thanks for your kind reply!

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