Scheduled TAH could I actually be a bigger monster? | HysterSisters
HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support and Information
Advertising Info HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support Tutorial

Go Back   Hysterectomy HysterSisters > Hysterectomy Support Posts > Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)


HysterSisters.com is a massive online community with over 475,000 members and over 5 million posts.

Our community is filled with women who have been through the Hysterectomy experience providing both advice and support from our active members and moderators.

HysterSisters.com is located at 111 Peter St, Toronto, Canada, M5V2H1 and is part of the VerticalScope network of websites.

With free registration, you can ask and answer questions in our HYSTERECTOMY forum community, get our FREE BOOKLET, access Hysterectomy Checkpoints and more.

You are not alone. The HysterSisters are here for you. Join us today!
join HysterSisters for hysterectomy resources and support
Reply

could I actually be a bigger monster? could I actually be a bigger monster?

Thread Tools
  #1  
Unread 10-25-2011, 12:51 AM
could I actually be a bigger monster?

I am going in on Nov 15 for an abdominal hysterectomy big incision since they have to take out cysts that I believe to be dermoids but the doctor wont tell be what he thinks says he wont know till he pulls them out kinda thing.
I have daughters 6 ranging from 11 to 24 they are all in the frame of mind this is a good thing as the cysts have caused me to gain weight look like I'm 6 mos. Along anyway I know I should have gone to the doc before but I hadn't been since I had my daughter 11 years ago c sec and thalamus done at that time. Starting to think that may have started the cysts?
Anyway over the past three years I have gained weight been constantly tired and in pain which has increased tenfold over the last 3 to 4 months. I am thinking these very large cysts are wreaking havoc on my hormone levels that combined with exhaustion pain and decreased ability to bend is rally making me a monster. It is a concentrated effort for me not to snap at every little thing.
I cannot imagine that it could be worse post surgery and if so I will expect horns to start growing!
I told my husband if I get worse all bets are off and he can leave me. I honestly don't sees how he stays now.
I just can't control it I bite my tongue alot knowing that it is not really who I am but I am so tired of being tired angry and in pain anybody else have these problems If should I just go shopping for a pitchfork?
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #2  
Unread 10-25-2011, 12:53 AM
Re: could I actually be a bigger monster?

Typo not thalamus. (Need to look that up) I meant tubal
  #3  
Unread 10-25-2011, 01:32 AM
Re: could I actually be a bigger monster?

I know exactly how you feel. Some days I feel like the worst mother in the world, or just plain and simply the most evil person. I yell, scream and snap because I am so exhausted from the anemia and blood loss. People tell me I'll feel better soon and they know this isn't the real me, that they know what a nice person I am and what a big heart I have. That only makes me feel guilty and then angry at them for making me feel that way. I've spent nights crying because I feel so bad about it.

Your not alone we have all been there at some point and I can only hope with this surgery it will get better. Feel free to vent away on here we can handle it. Us women carry the weight of the world on our shoulders and as much as we try we'll never stop.
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #4  
Unread 10-25-2011, 06:55 AM
Re: could I actually be a bigger monster?

I am so tired all the time and weak from blood loss. My poor students at school know I'm sick, but they don't know from what. They are so sweet to me. My daughter gets it worse, I'm afraid! I am snapping at her and just in a foul mood. Apologizing to her isn't enough, I'm afraid. I can't take back those actions. She is old enough to understand, though, bless her heart. My husband is just like a duck, he is letting it roll off his back, lol! My surgery is November 21st, and I can't wait. My life has changed too much. That is what I told my doctor, I am no longer myself.
  #5  
Unread 10-25-2011, 09:44 AM
Re: could I actually be a bigger monster?

  Quote:
Originally Posted by notaclue View Post
I am going in on Nov 15 for an abdominal hysterectomy big incision since they have to take out cysts that I believe to be dermoids but the doctor wont tell be what he thinks says he wont know till he pulls them out kinda thing.
I have daughters 6 ranging from 11 to 24 they are all in the frame of mind this is a good thing as the cysts have caused me to gain weight look like I'm 6 mos. Along anyway I know I should have gone to the doc before but I hadn't been since I had my daughter 11 years ago c sec and thalamus done at that time. Starting to think that may have started the cysts?
Anyway over the past three years I have gained weight been constantly tired and in pain which has increased tenfold over the last 3 to 4 months. I am thinking these very large cysts are wreaking havoc on my hormone levels that combined with exhaustion pain and decreased ability to bend is rally making me a monster. It is a concentrated effort for me not to snap at every little thing.
I cannot imagine that it could be worse post surgery and if so I will expect horns to start growing!
I told my husband if I get worse all bets are off and he can leave me. I honestly don't sees how he stays now.
I just can't control it I bite my tongue alot knowing that it is not really who I am but I am so tired of being tired angry and in pain anybody else have these problems If should I just go shopping for a pitchfork?
You sound just like me. The slighest thing makes me cry and than I am bitter to beat the band. My pain started getting bad last September. I started off with sore stomach that woke me up at night. Heavy bleeding the works. My pain was so bad I use to curl up in fetal position. I went to my primary care doctor who sent me to see an Womens Health Specialist. He ran some test than sent me to see and Oncologist Gynocologist to have my ovaries removed. Once he looked over all my smptons and test decided to do and TAH/BSO removed. I was showing signs of endomentrial cancer and very high risk of the disease. He felt this operation would clear things up if caught early, but still will need to wait to get my pathology test done. My surgery is 10/27 and I am a little nervous, but using my faith and the love of my husband and children to help me through. Last night two friends offered to come and help me out and pick my son up for Scouts and trick of treating. They even will pick them up bring them safely home, due to the fact my husband works part time in the evening. How blessed I am and you will be fine also. We are women and hear us roah......
  #6  
Unread 10-25-2011, 09:56 AM
Re: could I actually be a bigger monster?

I'm going to be honest. This is just MY experience from TAH. I've grown my horns back.

Yes, everyone says you'll feel better soon. I'm still waiting. I'm still tired, SORE and swollen. I've been back to work going on 3 weeks and I'm so freaking ill and snappy at the world right now.

Don't get me wrong, my surgery went well. I've had no complications either. TAH takes a toll on the body, more than the other procedures. I'm feeling better every week but its just getting old feeling like this. I'm very frustrated and ready to feel great RIGHT NOW.

Just be prepared for this as much as possible. It will start getting frustrating after a while.

I thought I was prepared. I'd done my research and I had a good jump on most women because I've been lifting weights for 7 1/2 years so I was in great shape. I thought, ha, I'll be cleaning out my closets at about 4 weeks post op ................. NOPE. The thought of getting down on the floor to clean the bottom was out of the question. I tried to take several clothes out and just the smallest amount of straining and stretching was very uncomfortable and very tiring. The doc even released me at 6 weeks instead of the 8 week mark she was figuring on because I was healing so well.

I'm not trying to be negative and I don't want to come across that way because I'm not. I'm being honest and truthful.

Believe me, I've found VERY few people, including ladies, IRL that can understand exactly how I feel and how it feels to have a TAH. Most think I should've been up and bouncing around at 2-4 weeks, just because they had TVH, LAVH and was feeling like a new person at that time.

Bottom line, you will feel better, it'll just take a while to get to that point.

  #7  
Unread 10-25-2011, 10:20 AM
Re: could I actually be a bigger monster?

Thanks for the honesty, really
I'm not a pessimist per say but I'm not an optimist either so I guess a realist?
It is easier for me trouble believe its gonna suck for a while than, "oh everything will be great" I would be happy with in another six months or a year your energy will come back and you wont feel like someone slipped you a sleeping pill everytime you eat or do anything Physical at all.
A light at the end of the tunnel perhaps is all I hope for my mother in law has 10 r twenty times more energy than me and my brain is still going at Mach 3 while my body just laughs and says nah, that ain't gonna happen... I'm much too young to feel this ****ed old... good song lol
  #8  
Unread 10-25-2011, 11:02 AM
Re: could I actually be a bigger monster?

Hey Ladies,

Ditto, Ditto, Ditto.....

I've been there and there are days I can still be short tempered and snap, but I've been diagnosed with depression and am taking anti-depressants. The worst of my symptoms started after my failed pregnancy in 2003.

My family has noticed a dramatic improvement in my mood and behavior since my diagnosis and beginning drug intervention. So have I. I feel better, have more energy and am able to deal with setbacks and disappointment much easier than before. In fact I felt so good after a while I thought I would try going without the meds. My husband noticed the difference pretty quickly and asked if I had been taking them.

I have hopes that once my hormonal issues, pain and anxiety about my physical condition are dealt with, my depression will get better and I can eventually live a normal life without the drugs. In the mean time they are my miracle pill.

My solution may not be your solution, but you will never know until you discuss it with your doctor.

I found this article and it has some good information about depression and it's possible causes in women.
http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_women.htm

Take care everyone.
Lila
  #9  
Unread 10-25-2011, 11:03 AM
Re: could I actually be a bigger monster?

Much too young to feel this old was me before my TAH! It was so frustrating; my days consisted of dropping my DD off at school, sitting and staring at the tv until time to pick her up, then snarling at everyone because dinner wasn't made and the house was a mess, even though that was kind of MY responsibility!
The snapping and crankiness is likely you feeling like death warmed over most days, combined with you feeling like your life is no longer your own, that you've lost control and don't anticipate getting it back.
A TAH is not going to allow you that control anytime soon. I would be lying if I said I've bounced back (and when I read women with TAH saying they were healed at two weeks, I kind of wonder if they are confused as to what surgery they had?) This is not like the C-section; you don't get the mass of internal stitching with a section. Whatever is going on in there is going to need repair; my surgeon says she lost count of how many hundreds of stitches were needed to repair the damage done. You may have very little visible on the outside; I have a delightfully neat running stitch that is just now starting to heal completely. There will be a swollen belly, too. All of that surgery is traumatic and takes time to heal. My friend's dad is a surgeon; he said abdominal surgery takes 6 months to heal completely, 2 years to recover completely.
Did I depress you? Well don't fear! Because with the pain and recovery is a path to healing. I woke up from surgery, groggy, in so much pain, but with a clear sensation of being someone new, someone who had been reborn almost. My head was clear, my tension was gone, and the unrelenting pain and pressure in my belly had lightened. It took a few weeks, I've had some very dark days, and spent a whole lot of time laying down, being exhausted. But I can sense in my body and in my mind the difference from before; this is healing and recovery, not that horrific feeling of being old and crippled from before. I can't say it's been all sweetness; I'm still tired a lot and still have moments of impatience, but I've lost that overwhelming anger that seemed to always sit on my shoulders before.
How you face this surgery will determine how you feel afterward. If you go in thinking your pain will be perfectly controlled, there will be no complications, and that you'll be completely recovered at that magic 6-week point, then post op will come as a very rude shock. If you go in knowing there will be bad days, sad days, maybe setbacks, maybe an OR visit or a medication adjustment, that you will have to let others do for you for a while, but that ultimately you will feel better, then you'll be okay. And when things get rough, you can always come here and vent! Only women who have been through this can understand. It doesn't matter which way the docs get the uterus out, every one of these surgeries requires a long and involved healing process.
I can suggest that you start taking time for yourself right now, find out what your triggers are and see if you can't find ways to avoid them or at least keep yourself from needing that pitchfork! I gave up feeling guilty for not working, my main issue, and focused on getting the house and myself ready for surgery. I couldn't exercise to prepare but it's a great suggestion if that's something you can do. It just helps to find outlets for your anger (I scrubbed the kitchen cabinets and bathrooms before) so you don't take it out on the people you'll rely on after surgery! And they love you enough to know this isn't you. Now you need to love yourself enough to know this isn't you either! I'm sorry if this is long, I'm chatty today! Good luck with the surgery and keep posting!
  #10  
Unread 10-25-2011, 01:11 PM
Re: could I actually be a bigger monster?

Great advise MrsAllnut.

I lifted weights for my anger and now, well, I'm just stuck with frustration and anger since that was my only outlet.

I told my husband if I could just get in my weight room and pound out about 18 sets of 6 reps of 140lbs squats, I'd feel sooo much better. But, I can't lift heavy. Right now, trying to do my "baby workout" just feels like I'm wasting 1 hour day, 4 days a week when I could be doing the laundry or cleaning the house after I get home from work. I have no desire to workout now. I'd rather sit on the couch and do nothing for another 6 months until I can get back at it but I know I need to do it so I can start conditioning my body again and eventually get back to where I was before surgery. Lifting weights is my sanity and I can't do that right now and probably not for another 6 months........at least like I use to lift and that is the most difficult thing I'm having to deal with. I feel so fragile, handicapped, weak, etc. I hate cardio and walking. Can't do yoga or pilates because of the strong core work it requires. *sigh*

I thought I'd prepared myself for this because my doc told it would be this way but.............. wow. Its harder than I thought it would be.I keep telling myself, it'll get better, and I know it will but getting through this is frustrating.

So I do suggest finding more than 1 outlet for your frustrations/anger. After surgery, you might not be able to do one or the other so you will at least have a back up
Reply

booklet
Our Free Booklet
What 350,000 Women Know About Hysterectomy: Information, helpful hints as you prepare and recover from hysterectomy.
Answers to your questions
Register




Thread Tools

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
From This Forum From Other Forums
8 Replies, Last Reply 09-14-2010, Started By BronzeCaramel
2 Replies, Last Reply 02-05-2010, Started By Duchess01
4 Replies, Last Reply 04-17-2009, Started By Kalaki808
8 Replies, Last Reply 11-14-2008, Started By WebbiesWay
6 Replies, Last Reply 05-02-2005, Started By fulltime3
3 Replies, Last Reply 01-25-2005, Started By frozen yogurt
5 Replies, Last Reply 09-14-2004, Started By harley_kat
4 Replies, Last Reply 07-16-2002, Started By Skeigh
1 Reply, Last Reply 06-14-2002, Started By Bekki
3 Replies, Last Reply 10-31-2001, Started By Maesyn
15 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
6 Replies, No Uterus - No Ovaries - Yes HRT - Surgical Menopause
8 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
7 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
7 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
19 Replies, The Road Less Traveled
1 Reply, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
10 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
9 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
48 Replies, The Road Less Traveled



Advertisement

Hysterectomy News

December 4,2020

CURRENT NEWS

HysterSisters Takes On Partner To Manage Continued Growth And Longevity
I have news that is wonderful and exciting! This week’s migration wasn’t a typical migration - from one set ... News Archive

TODAY'S EVENTS

Calendar - Hysterectomies - Birthdays


Request Information


I am a HysterSister

HYSTERECTOMY STORIES

Featured Story - All Stories - Share Yours

FOLLOW US


Your Hysterectomy Date


CUSTOMIZE Your Browsing  


$vbulletin->featuredvideos is not an array!
Advertisement


Advertisement