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What do you tell people when you don't want them to know? What do you tell people when you don't want them to know?

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Unread 10-26-2011, 02:48 PM
Re: What do you tell people when you don't want them to know?

I'm with Hope2beme,

"Abdominal surgery" should do it. If they ask why and you don't want to say, you can always counter with, "Why do you ask?" I figure it's a polite way of saying "None of your business." If they still persist, then screw polite. But that's me - diplomacy was never my strong point.

Like Dr. Seuss said: "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
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Unread 10-26-2011, 03:07 PM
Re: What do you tell people when you don't want them to know?

I haven't mentioned anything regarding surgery at work! My employer doesnt know as far as I know.

I want it that way due to the numerous opinions and recommendations that employees just verbalize freely without any second thought.

I thought and still think it is best not to say anything until I pass my pre-op. If for some reason my surgery is post-poned after my pre-op appointment, any time off I have booked I have to assume full responsibility for.

When an employee books time off they have up to 10 days to cancel, 9 days and under they say sorry we booked your time off with a temp employee, we can't do anything about it.

Due to their system, they will know at the last minute not the way I like doing things.

I realize that "support" will be minimal due to not sharing the information regarding my surgery, but, I am a survivor, I am strong, and I will have help from my husband. May be Hystersisters for moral support!

Unread 10-26-2011, 03:57 PM
Re: What do you tell people when you don't want them to know?

I just said I was having a girly surgery and that pretty much killed any questions! Good luck to you!
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Unread 10-26-2011, 04:20 PM
Re: What do you tell people when you don't want them to know?

I like that Girly Surgery
Cat you and I are a day apart and the same age, having the DaVinci, and hope for quick and easy recovery, put my trust in the Dr and the man above!!!
Unread 10-26-2011, 07:54 PM
Re: What do you tell people when you don't want them to know?

I would just say not to offend you but its really a personal issue. OR you could say its a surgery to address a problem with pain I am having.
If those you tell, tell only make sure they are close friends and tell them you do not want them sharing that info with anyone becuase it is personal.
If they are matture enough they should be able to understand that and keep it to themselves.
Unread 10-26-2011, 08:03 PM
Re: What do you tell people when you don't want them to know?

Luckily I didn't have tons of time to worry about my surgery. I went to my doctor on a Thursday and was scheduled in 2 weeks. It was a matter of my calendar and upcoming vacation and daughter's wedding and another daughters birth (in another state)... so option was to take first available or wait 6 months and deal with the pain etc.

So my boss had less than 2 weeks to deal with the surgery issue. He didn't tell the rest of the office until 2 days before I left. I never told him the whole story, just said it was major abdominal surgery and the recover time was 6 weeks.

I have to say that I'm glad I didn't have too much time to research it. As it was I was a basket case and thought of canceling at the last minute. I know that my quality of life will be much better now even with the lifetime lifting restrictions.
Unread 10-26-2011, 08:24 PM
Re: What do you tell people when you don't want them to know?

I didn't want anyone to know about my surgery. I told only my family and my 3 closest friends. No one at work, none of my DH's family or friends know. I only said I was having surgery. And could tell people wanted to know for what but thankfully they all had the good manners not to ask. It was harder for DH because people would ask him outright and he would say its personal, not life threatening, and I would have a long recovery. 'Nuff said :-)
Unread 10-26-2011, 09:01 PM
Re: What do you tell people when you don't want them to know?

Wow, ladies thank you SO much for all your ideas! I'm taking a lot of these and will use them in the right situations.

I've been dealing with the endometriosis for 16 years and have been getting worse and worse since my twin daughters were born in 2007. My younger twin has a ton of medical issues so my pain was always on the back burner while taking care of her. She's doing well now and won't need another surgery for several months, so I seized the opportunity to start getting well.

Now that I'm scheduling the surgery (have an appointment to do so next week) I'm starting to get nervous/excited.

Thanks again for all your ideas and sharing your stories. I'm SO glad I found this site, not only for the information, but for the amazing support we all give each other!
Unread 10-27-2011, 09:00 AM
Re: What do you tell people when you don't want them to know?

Looks like you got some great answers! I just told people straight out that I was having a hysterectomy -- but most of my co-workers are nurses so I didn't mind sharing details with them. Although I do understand the desire to keep it more private!

Best wishes to you!
Unread 10-27-2011, 12:52 PM
Re: What do you tell people when you don't want them to know?

Originally Posted by EarlyBird02 View Post
I am going to be having a TAH, along with a fistula repair, rectocele and cystocele repair and other possible bladder work (in the testing process right now). I am fairly young (31 years old) and there are certain people I just don't want to tell what my surgery is going to be.

So what do I say? I'm going to be in the hospital for 3 to 4 days, with a long recovery at home. People at church are wondering what's going on and I have female friends that will want to help out. I'm fine with my female friends knowing, but don't want everyone at church to know, or those guy friends from high school who just don't need that info.

Do I say something like I'm having repairs done for trauma from my pregnancies and deliveries? (It's true.) Do I say that I'm having some long standing pain issues addressed? Treating my endometriosis?

I'm kind of at a loss. I know not everyone will think I shouldn't just say what it is, but for me, there are just some people that I don't want to tell.

I would love your thoughts!
Well I'm 51 and my ob/gyn recommended a hysterectomy as a treatment option for my fibroids. For some reason I feel comfortable telling people I had fibroids removed but not having a hysterectomy. I don't know what it is about having a hysterectomy that makes me feel 'ashamed' but it does.

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