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I am so glad I found this site! I am so glad I found this site!

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  #1  
Unread 10-28-2011, 12:00 PM
I am so glad I found this site!

I had my consult appt. with my Dr. on the 26th. I took edited and printed out the list of questions to ask from this site. My Dr. said that these were all excellent questions to ask. I sort of got bad new though. Originally, my Dr. said I could have laproscopic, but on re-examination, he said the scarring from my C-sections, the size of the tumors and the fact he wants to do a bladder tack means it is now necessary to open me up. Their open surgery dates were terrible too (11/23 Thanksgiving Eve or 12/16). I was hoping to get past the holidays or do it early enough that I would be back on my feet. I guess it wasn't meant to be. I scheduled the day before Thanksgiving. I will have to see if the kitchen will give me Turkey broth on Thanksgiving!

This whole week has been terrible. I am getting no emotional support from my husband, in fact he is so worried, he is yelling at everyone, even me . My kids (all adults) don't really seem to understand. My friends are trying but it seems that everyone's attitude is "oh you'll be fine". I am sure I will BE FINE, but I am still scared.

I have a question too. How likely is it that I will be able to work from home for a few hours a day the second week after surgery? I am very concerned about my job even though everyone seems to be taking it just fine at work. If I lose my customers, I eventually lose my job. Not to mention, I don't have enough vacation to cover 4 to 6 weeks nor do I have short term disability. It seems like since Monday the whole world just climbed on my back.
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  #2  
Unread 10-28-2011, 01:29 PM
Re: I am so glad I found this site!

Spiritrose,

I'm sorry for your bad news and lack of support. Perhaps you could show him this part of the site: http://www.misterhystersisters.com/

Would it help to schedule an quick appointment with your doctor so he can get ask questions and ease his mind?

As far as work goes, I've been told forget it for the first 2 weeks and unlikely the second, BUT I am self employed and work from home. I figure I could probably manage a couple of yours a day for the next couple of weeks.

I think it depends on how well your own recovery is going. I know how stressful it is when trying to hang on to clients and I wish you the best.

Try and relax (hard, I know) and take things as they come. Mysteriously, things always seem to work out in the end.

Best of luck to you,
Cheers,
Lila
  #3  
Unread 10-28-2011, 03:04 PM
Re: I am so glad I found this site!

I think you nailed. Your hubby is freaked out and men often get mean when they are scared.

Having him get info so he is less frightened would probably help some.

I have found so much support here. I several friends who have had hysts or who are in the medical field so they understand pretty well but sometimes it takes having someone else in the same phase. I think we all go through similar emotional experiences while we play the waiting game and can relate.

While my dh is a worry wart he just keeps thinking that someday I'll be well and my horrible bleeding, pain, and hopefully emotional rollercoaster will be gone. As much as I try to tell him fibroids usually don't turn into cancer he is so afraid of that (we nursed my ex in our home until he died of cancer) he is willing to deal with anything else.

You may find your clients are very accommodating. Make sure someone else can handle any crises they may have and they will probably be more concerned with how you are feeling rather than getting non-emergencies taken care of. I would give them warning that you will be out for several weeks so they can have quotes or whatever handled before you are gone. I think most people are like me, whenever my reps have had to be absent for a time I work with them and am always happy when they return.
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  #4  
Unread 10-28-2011, 04:00 PM
Re: I am so glad I found this site!

Sorry to hear your husband is so upset. When mine got testy, I would (in a very calm voice) say that I'm scared and him being so upset isn't helping me. I would then ask him to talk to me about why he so angry. That usually opened him up and felt better.

This site can be very helpful and I recommend reading as many posts as possible. Some information may work for you, some not, but it all gives you things to think about and alleviate some fears.

I would not recommend trying to work the first or second week. The third week, I was able to work for about two hours a day on my computer from home, but got really sore from sitting up that long. You must listen to your body when it tells you it's time to lay down. The more you push, the longer it will take to heal.

Best of luck to you.
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