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Unread 10-30-2011, 04:47 AM

I am a week away from surgery. After two months of hormone therapy that about killed me....OMG I cried at a drop of a dime, hot flashes galore, felt like someone hit me in the back of the head with a brick...bleeding...etc.....(waste of time by the way.....never take the leuprolide depot shot)

OK I know it is silly, I have had three c-sections, an abdominalplasty, back surgery and two less invasive procedures in my short 40 years but I am scared to death of having this hysterectomy. Why? I am sad......anxious, worried about the end result, and worried about hemorrhaging during the surgery. I dont know where these fears are coming from, I have never been scared before surgery, with the exception of my first c-section (was young and it was my first surgery) But I am scared.

Anyway I think the scariest part is the doctor says things like, we are going to "TRY" to go in laparoscopically, but we will wait until we get in there to see how we will need to proceed. "We will try to keep your ovaries but if they are overtaken with masses and growths".......It's the not knowing, how "the big biopsy" is going to turn out. I'm scared I am going to gain wait. I dont have a great support system. We are a military family and we live in Germany, I think that is the scariest part, I just have my husband, whom (god love him) will do the best he can but I know after I am home he will go back to work, because he knows I can take care of myself. I'm independent.........?

I have been doing this, everything by myself for 15 years as a military spouse. Kids illnesses, surgeries, heck most of the time any of us have been sick we have lived overseas and more times than not my husband has been yes I can take care of myself..........but I am scared this time. Scared.........and I have never been scared before.
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Unread 10-30-2011, 05:37 AM
Re: Scared!

Hey. I know how you feel. I truly do. My husband left for "special training" three days after I found out I needed a hysterectomy. He was given permission to come home for one night when I was 2 days post-op ( he is only three hours away). He'll be home for Thanksgiving weekend too!

I was alone too. I utilized every forum in this site, posted mutiple questions, read every became my only salvation when it came to my pending procedure. I hope you find it as helpful as well.

I honestly think the docs have to use the word "TRY" as standard medical terminology now. I've worked in the administrative side of medicine for many years and when it comes to liability, language plays a huge role. That is just my opinion. However, you have every right to speak with your doctor and make a STRONG request that he/she is more specific regarding "TRY". ( My pre-op visit was a nightmare for my poor doc, but I'm not a shy patient and I speak my mind)

By the way...did I mention.......IT'S OK TO BE SCARED. IT'S NORMAL.

I was terrified.
Then, out of the blue, just a couple days before my procedure, I made a decision to grasp onto the concept that this is going to happen and I needed an attitude change. So, I turned it around.
You can see my post from that day on "new Posts" I think it's titled, "Hooray..only three days to go" or something similar. If you read that, you can actually see the moment I made my 360. It took me a couple weeks to get to that point. You'll get there too. I promise.

Unread 10-30-2011, 05:53 AM
Re: Scared!

Thanks McBean, I am sure I will get there. I am just not there yet! I don't know why this one scares me so much.
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Unread 10-30-2011, 08:43 AM
Re: Scared!

I was terrified too. The unknown is terrifying! My dr used the try word too but the thing I focused on was I knew how to heal from a c section and if he had to go in it would be similar. Luckily mine didn't go that way but I just had to treat it like it would. prepare for the worst expect the best!

Being alone is scary but with all of with u and praying for u u aren't alone. Send ur fears out there and we will support u the best that we can.

One of my biggest worries was I didn't know what to expect after. I couldn't sleep from worry. One night I came to the realization that my life before hyster had not been fabulous and I was terribly miserable. And although I dust know what life after would bring it had to be better than what I was dealing with.

Good luck! Sending lots of warm thoughts ur way!
Unread 10-30-2011, 08:57 AM
Re: Scared!


Thank you. I think your right, sending out positive energy, and allowing myself to receive it will make a big difference. You are right, I have been feeling bad for so long, that if this will help me to feel better, then it has to be for the best!

Thanks for your positivity!
Unread 10-30-2011, 09:18 AM
Re: Scared!

The other thing I am scared of is, the "what if it does not solve my problem" question. It was this sight that actually made me ask the doc to consider the enlarged uterus and the growth's on the uterine wall as the culprit to my constant back pain. At first they said, yes your uterus is enlarged and you have a mass and your uterine wall is two thick but we should just watch it. That was a year ago. The uterine findings were incidental as they were really looking for problems with the spine. I was seeing a neurosurgeon who was considering back surgery, I had recently had cervical spine and they were looking at my lumbar when they saw the issues with the uterus again. I have had constant back pain for two years I have taken heavy medications for pain every day for 2 years, I have seen neurologists, neurosurgeons, occupational therapists, physical therapists, psychologists, accupuncturest and the one who twist you into a pretzel........and no one ever thought to consider my uterus until I read a story from a woman with my symptoms, had a hysto and felt better. I pray with all my heart that I am right.
Unread 10-30-2011, 11:36 AM
Re: Scared!

Hey there Fabulous!

Before my hysteroscopy in 2002, I had really bad back pain and no reason for it that the doctors could find. I tried physical therapy, drugs, exercise.... Nothing worked.

THEN - I was diagnosed (finally) with uterine fibroids. I had been having severe bleeding problems for quite a while, too and was pretty much blown off by 3 doctors before I got one to take me seriously. It was that doctor who put the 2 together and said it was no wonder my back hurt.

Post-op, my back pain was gone. I thought it was a miracle.

Well - Fibroids have raised their ugly head again and with them all the problems I had in the past - including the back pain. I expect it will go away with my uterus.

Hoping the same for you! Take care and best of luck on the 7th.
Unread 10-30-2011, 12:00 PM
Re: Scared!

I just reread my post and it is weight, not wait........

Gosh McLila I sure hope you are right, I would love a miracle! ;o) I am praying, and giving all of my energy to the positive thinking that this is it!
Unread 10-30-2011, 12:04 PM
Re: Scared!

I to am so scred mine is on halloween having a tah and possible ovaries removed im only 27. Have had 3 c sections aswell and other operations
Unread 10-30-2011, 12:13 PM
Re: Scared!

Laura, Ok well I will hold your hand if you hold mine. If it's Halloween that has you spooked, don't let it spook you. Dont give your energy to superstition. It's all going to be OK. I love this site, it answers so many questions. If you have specific question, I'll gladly help you find them. I'm sending all my love and positive energy your way! We are obviously in the same boat! Big hug's

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