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Unread 10-31-2011, 08:26 AM

For the last few weeks I just feel so alone and not sure why. It seems I have no one to talk to about this. I am very scared, this surgery is unknown to me. My husband says it will be all ok but he doesn't understand the way I feel.

I do have depression and I am worried the hysterectomy is going to make it worse, I am only 30 years old and having the last of what I have removed, that includes my uterus, right ovary and cervix (the left was removed when I was 12 years old). I am scared of menopause very very much. Am I still going to be a good mom and wife??? Or will the menopause get the best of me???

I know the only way to get rid of the pain for good is to have the surgery, but I just feel so alone, that my family doesn't understand where I am coming from. And with friends I can't say I have one that I would talk to about this, I had my first child at a young age and seemed to have lost all those who I thought were my friends.

Why does life have to be this way??? Seems unfair.
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Unread 10-31-2011, 08:47 AM
Re: Alone....

Hey Elaine,

I suffer from depression, too, and I can understand that 'alone' feeling.

Please discuss this with your doctor and see if there is anything he can do for you pre-surgery to help with the anxiety, which, as I'm sure you know, can make the depression that much worse.

Also discuss your fears. Menopause is natural and we all go through it. I'm sure you will still be a great mom and wife and menopause will probably get the best of you sometimes. Life gets the best of me from time to time.

My best advice for you is to focus on the present - the future will take care of itself. Easy to say, I know, and not always so easy to do.

You might consider seeing a therapist and maybe take your husband with you. I have found when I'm frustrated and not adequately relaying my feelings a therapist helps.

Best of luck to you.
Unread 10-31-2011, 08:57 AM
Re: Alone....

Hi Elaine, so sorry to hear that you feel so alone..I also suffer from depression and feel very alone too.
I have read the reply from McLila and agree with what she says..all I can add is "big hugs" and wishing you well.
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Unread 10-31-2011, 09:37 PM
Re: Alone....

You sound just like me! I have organic depression, had my hyst when I was barely 31 and had my remaining ovary removed after losing the other at 12. I felt the same way you do, especially when I didn't know anyone my age to be able to talk about it. I can tell you so far it's been pretty good as far as menopause and depression. Definitely find someone you can talk to, professional or not. That will go a long way toward helping you but I know that you can manage it and everything will be okay. Hang in there!
Unread 11-01-2011, 05:26 AM
Re: Alone....

Thank you Ladies, you made me feel better. I will go to the doctor and tell her how I'm feeling, do you think she will give me something to help with the anxiety? I didn't think there was anyone else like me out there!!! How do you feel now that everything is gone? Do you feel the same? How has menopause treated you? I have so many questions.

Thank you again, I feel I can talk to all of you better than I can talk to anyone else. Thanks for being there.
Unread 11-01-2011, 08:54 AM
Re: Alone....

Hi Elaine. I wanted to send you a quick note to let you know that you are not alone out there! I am 31 and have my da vinci total hysterectomy scheduled for this Friday. Though I still have "all" my parts in there, they are all with cause to need to be removed. I do have a child as well and have put all my focus into caring for him and knowing that I am doing this for myself to be there for his future. I have struggled with depression in the past during my years of struggles to conceive and I know how alone that feeling is when no one else understands the pain you are going through. My best advice is like the other girls stated; talk to your doctor, maybe look into finding someone to talk to post surgery and know that day to day you have a family that is there for you at home, and on here!! Best of luck with everything!!!

Unread 11-01-2011, 01:56 PM
Re: Alone....

Hi Elaine, I'm sorry your struggling. I am facing the same issue. Removal of everything. I was never able to have kids so I dont worry about the mom thing, but my husband is wonderful and I dont wanna make him miserable. I know that he will be loving and understanding even if he doesnt like me at times.
I'm sorry you struggle with depression. I have dealt with that for a couple of years in the past but it was just situational. I hope you can find a way to minimize that if it happens. I hope you also find love and support from the women on here. I know I have great friends but none of them have had their ovalries out and can't help, so my sister sent me here. Good place for information. Hang in there.
Unread 11-02-2011, 02:41 PM
Re: Alone....

Wow, all of you have given me so much more hope than anyone!! I am so glad a friend of mine told me of this site. I feel closer to all of you than my friends about this touchy subject. Now I know why this site is called "hystersisters" thank you so much for being there for me, you will never know how much it means to me.
Unread 11-02-2011, 02:43 PM
Re: Alone....

Hey KristyA, could you let me know how you are feeling after the da vinci, only when you are up to it. Good luck and take care!
Unread 11-02-2011, 02:54 PM
Re: Alone....

Originally Posted by Dee Gardener View Post
Hi Elaine, so sorry to hear that you feel so alone..I also suffer from depression and feel very alone too.
I have read the reply from McLila and agree with what she says..all I can add is "big hugs" and wishing you well.
Hey sis

im from england too..London...xxxxx

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