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husband thinks i'm here too much...(long) husband thinks i'm here too much...(long)

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  #11  
Unread 11-07-2011, 08:22 PM
Re: husband thinks i'm here too much...(long)

If we go crazy, at least we can go together. (( hugs ))
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  #12  
Unread 11-07-2011, 08:28 PM
Re: husband thinks i'm here too much...(long)

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Arawyn View Post
If we go crazy, at least we can go together. (( hugs ))
sounds like a great plan to me! i hate to go crazy alone!
  #13  
Unread 11-07-2011, 09:38 PM
Re: husband thinks i'm here too much...(long)

You are doing the best thing you can do which is reaching out for support and preparing yourself. If he doesnt understand than you find your support and love on here.
Some me just love to downplay things because it helps THEM cope. He just doesnt wanna hear about it. He may be feeling this way because he doesnt want to see you hurting. Or, he literally has no idea how serious this operation is.
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  #14  
Unread 11-07-2011, 09:59 PM
Re: husband thinks i'm here too much...(long)

  Quote:
Originally Posted by JenniferZ View Post
You are doing the best thing you can do which is reaching out for support and preparing yourself. If he doesnt understand than you find your support and love on here.
Some me just love to downplay things because it helps THEM cope. He just doesnt wanna hear about it. He may be feeling this way because he doesnt want to see you hurting. Or, he literally has no idea how serious this operation is.
i think the fact that he doesn't take this surgery as seriously as i do, or the emotional toll it is taking on me, is what is breaking my heart the most...

he was in a horrible accident at 20...2nd degree burns on his face, arms and upper chest...2nd degree burns are one of the most painful experiences next to bone cancer...then he had a kidney removed ~8 years ago....that was done by opening him up...

i wasn't with him through either of these moments in his life, but i feel like no matter what happens on the 15th, nothing will compare to his experience with those two procedures...and that is cr*p!

i know he'll be there as much as possible, but he just doesn't believe that my insisions are going to cause me to be in that much pain or limit me that much....i just want to strangle him!!!

i'm lucky enough to have a few friends (one in particular) who are very supportive and willing to listen...but i get angry that my husband won't...i seriously can't even cry around him, because he doesn't know what to do with me! ugg...it is just going to be a very long week....why can't surgery just be tomorrow already??
  #15  
Unread 11-08-2011, 01:52 PM
Re: husband thinks i'm here too much...(long)

Hey Daisymayzy!

I hear my date buddy is out of sorts. VENT! It's good for the soul and it's what we are here for.

You might ask your Doctor to talk to him - ask him/her to be your advocate and stress the need for rest and support. Not in an accusing way, but a Doctor to Husband/caretaker sort of chat. If he doesn't go to your pre-op appointment maybe this could take place while you are in recovery.

You take care and be good to yourself.

(((HUGS)))
  #16  
Unread 11-08-2011, 02:02 PM
Re: husband thinks i'm here too much...(long)

I really wish you a peaceful as possible last week. I think even the most supportive husbands may not fully understand what a women goes through waiting for this surgery. And to be fair to them-how could they really? Even our individual experiences are completely different. But- I am grateful that my husband understands why I need to keep reading and reading....it helps me see that so many women are going through the same thing and most of the time they end up happier and healthier than before.

Good luck and Just do whatever makes you feel better....even trolling HysterSisters!
  #17  
Unread 11-08-2011, 02:42 PM
Re: husband thinks i'm here too much...(long)

I hear you sister! My husband has not been negative, just sort of tunes it out. If he knew I was out here everyday, he would roll his eyes. I feel like I have gotten tons of answers here, and good questions to ask my doc before my surgery on the 22nd. He seems to blank it out sometimes - I told him this weekend about the bowel prep the day before and his response was, yeah, well you did it for your colonoscopy, no big deal. I really do believe it is a venus and mars thing - and I am definitely the type A planner person between the two of us.
  #18  
Unread 11-08-2011, 04:01 PM
Re: husband thinks i'm here too much...(long)

Well, I'm sorry to hear that your hubby isn't supportive of our little "community" here. I personally don't know what I would have done without it!! It has been 6 months, and I am still on here almost every day. We have all, or are all going through a very hard time in our lives and it is important that we have women to support us. Men just don't understand. I have a very understanding and loving husband and he fully supports me "stalking" this site. I feel that I owe it to all the pre op ladies to be here for them like the ones before me were there for me. I think he is just as thankful for the site as I am because it kept me sane through the waiting process as well as the post op healing process. I hope you DH can learn to understand that this is just something you need. He will probably never understand what a serious surgery it is, because he will never have to go through it. Just know your sisters are here for you no matter what so vent away!!! to you!!!
  #19  
Unread 11-08-2011, 04:02 PM
Re: husband thinks i'm here too much...(long)

Ugh that would honkerblonk me off girl. The fact that he is comparing your surg to his injuries is absurd. Neither of these things are like the other!!!!
  #20  
Unread 11-08-2011, 07:38 PM
Re: husband thinks i'm here too much...(long)

it's so nice to hear i'm not alone...not that i thought i was here...

mclila...i like your idea...i think i'll ask my doctor before they wheel to the or...i'll be in the holding area and my husband won't be there...he'll be in the waiting area...

thanks for all the love and support...i'm trying to be a calm as possible, but i can feel the nerves creeping in...i just have to remember who the best people to share those feeling with are!
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