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13 days to go.  Scared, emotional, agitated and no paitence. 13 days to go. Scared, emotional, agitated and no paitence.

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Unread 11-30-2011, 09:20 PM
Re: 13 days to go. Scared, emotional, agitated and no paitence.


It is very normal to have all of these feelings you are expressing. No, none of you are insane, although it may feel like that at times. This is MAJOR SURGERY, with removal of an important organ. This is something that has made its presence known to you on a regular basis for decades. And now it is going to taken away from you. Of course you are going to be emotional about that, even if you have been experiencing physical pain. You will be going through a mourning process, both pre-op and post-op. This will take some time to digest.

Know that many women on this site were where you are now. We understand what you are going through and are here to support you. I know this is a scary time.

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Unread 12-01-2011, 02:30 AM
Re: 13 days to go. Scared, emotional, agitated and no paitence.

My TAH is scheduled for 12/2...just hours away. I have experienced many unexpected emotions. Emotions I can't even explain myself. I'll be fine all day, then suddenly break down crying. I'm mourning over my uterus?! Seems silly since it's only caused me discomfort. I'm terrified about surgery. I can't sleep and don't like the Advan the doc prescribed to me. I have a fear of not preparing enough in advance and of not surviving surgery as rediculous as that sounds. My mind is out of control especially at night. I can't totally relate to your anxiety.
Unread 12-01-2011, 05:53 AM
Re: 13 days to go. Scared, emotional, agitated and no paitence.

Good morning all... Gosh, my heart goes out to you as you sound just like me and I know it ain't so pretty at times, lol.

I am going to have to learn that it is OK if things are not done like I might do them. That it is OK if the house is a mess after my surgery, it will get cleaned up. My husband will take 3 days off to help with the kids and my mom will be around to help as well so I am very lucky. The kids kinda run up and down my mom, they are wonderful kids but they are spirited and sassy and a HANDFUL for sure and I know they wear her out in the first hour. I just have to trust that all will be OK and all I will need to do after is rest. As hard as I try to get the house cleaned it is a mess when I turn back around... my kids are 7 and 3. I have a small frig and freezer so no room to make meals ahead but my hubby likes to cook and my mom does OK so they will all be fed. it might be hard for them and for me to just sit and listen but it will be OK. I did get most of the holiday shopping done, need to wrap. I cooked Thanksgiving for 12 and my sister in law will do x-mas dinner so that is taken care of. I am 44 years old, did I mention that. I ain't as good as I once was. lol. So I guess I am saying try as you might to get things "ready" how does one do that and keep them ready? I have to realize that I can do what I can and that will have to be good enough.

OK, what are you all doing as far as supplies for after the surgery? Are you getting the ad binder from this site? I am seriously thinking about getting one as the support I am sure feels good and the ice and heat packs I am sure will feel great for all of the internal healing and outside scars. I am not a nightgown kinda person but I am thinking about getting a few just to keep everything off my tummy for the first week. I have a few books and a million episodes of days of our lives on the DVR, LOL. I am sure I can catch up on a lot of tv and movies. Only problem is the DVR is downstairs and I think I am going to make camp upstairs so perhaps I have to take the dvr and leave the kids with regular tv. And, I am sure they will not know what to do with them selves with regular tv and no dvr, ondemand and pausing, lol.

Besides the whole surgery thing of course I worry about money... we are spread pretty thin and I am adding new bills to the pile. I was also a victim of a crime and the 2nd offenders court date is on the 15th so I am trying to get that changed so I can be there. But I have to realize if I cannot be there that my husband will go in my place, I have a great victims advocate and the same judge and prosecutor from the last guy will be there as they both said they wanted to follow this case through. There are a million things piling up on my shoulders... trying to pray and let go as I always do the best I can and that will have to be good enough.

OK, I am so rambling... I am sorry guys. I guess I just needed to vent a little and try to let some of this bottled up stress go.

Happy first day of December... 12 days, gulp!
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Unread 12-01-2011, 05:55 AM
Re: 13 days to go. Scared, emotional, agitated and no paitence.

I have same fears............of death. Already in panic mode and surgery isnt til jan 17
Unread 12-01-2011, 06:05 AM
Re: 13 days to go. Scared, emotional, agitated and no paitence.

((HUGS)) Martinez! Wow, you are coming up so fast! Sending some chilling vibes to you as I can only imagine how scary it is to be a day away. Too bad the Adavan does not work for you... it would be nice to just take something to ease the fear. I had a little left from my incident as a victim and I took one last night the the night before as I was just a mess and needed to calm down a little... it helped. Good luck and please be sure to post after if you can on how everything went. Sending more hugs and prayers to you!!!

I can so relate to mourning your uterus, I so know I am as well. We tried for just one more up to my 44th b-day in July, my last losses were in 09 and we just have not had any luck since then. It was after that last loss in Sept 09 I had my last lap and realized just how bad the endo was... my doc basically said I was so blessed and lucky to have the two I do so I tried to turn my mind around to accepting that it was most likely over for me then and made the decision it was on my 44th b-day. And it is like even though I know we have went unprotected since 09 and nothing happened, that even if I got pregnant the chances of me not loosing it are slim to nothing... that I am in pain daily... I am still sad to loose the things I fought so hard to work with since 04. I too am mourning my uterus... I so get that. Another hug, I am sorry for your loss ladies.
Unread 12-01-2011, 06:07 AM
Re: 13 days to go. Scared, emotional, agitated and no paitence.

Fear of dieing is scary... I have some of those fears as well but they seem to fall not at the top of my fear list. ((hugs)). Praying for all of you!
Unread 12-01-2011, 08:21 PM
Re: 13 days to go. Scared, emotional, agitated and no paitence.

Surgery is very scary - you are given powerful drugs that render you unconscious. That is enough to unnerve even the steadiest of women.

The doctors and nurses will take very good care of you - they don't want anything to happen to you either. They are all very well trained and well see you through this.

We are here also to support you, and will help you through. Getting on and posting your thoughts and fears really helps.

Unread 12-02-2011, 07:51 AM
Re: 13 days to go. Scared, emotional, agitated and no paitence.

GOOD LUCK MARTINEZ!!! Sending hugs and prayers and looking forward to your update.
Unread 12-02-2011, 07:52 AM
Re: 13 days to go. Scared, emotional, agitated and no paitence.

Pre op today for the urologist and pre op Monday for the specialist... getting closer. Hope all of you are doing OK today.
Unread 12-02-2011, 08:32 AM
Re: 13 days to go. Scared, emotional, agitated and no paitence.

Kim, I had a TLH for endo and what turned out to be wall-to-wall adeno, and it was truly the best thing I ever did for myself. It was my fifth lap, so leading up to it, I felt pretty calm until around a week before when people started to talk about how major a surgery it was, how nervous I must be, etc., and I decided then to focus entirely on the fact that pain was ruling my life (easy to do when it's true!). The fact that I had one last horrendous period in the few days before surgery helped me realize beyond a doubt that I needed to do this. The fears are all normal, the impatience is too - I have 'comfort' books and movies that I enjoy when I'm unwell, and I found that spending some time with those was an excellent way to soothe my spirits.

I am sending you good thoughts. Those healing days will soon be here for you!

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