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Finally got my date set, but the bad news is... Finally got my date set, but the bad news is...

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  #1  
Unread 12-02-2011, 01:55 PM
Finally got my date set, but the bad news is...

They managed to get me in the 22nd of this month. BUT the "assist" will have to be the male doctor in the office. If I want to wait for the other female sr surgeon, I will have to wait until January and I can't imagine trying to get through any more time than this and even this is too darned much.

So dec 22, just in time to spend the holidays miserable. At least my husband can easily take time off of work over that time.

But a male doctor. UGH UGH UGH. I know the world always says that men can be fine gynecologists, but it disturbs me HUGELY. The only reason I can even begin to accept this is because I'm in so much pain.

I have written hilarious rants about my feelings about male gynecologists elsewhere but I fear my sense of humor might be a bit too... intense for the ladies here. The support here is always good natured and positive and I don't want to mar that with my craziness, LOL. Suffice to say that my distrust of male gynos goes down to the bone and I am upset and nervous and I want to cry and cry.

I also learned that in order to do the Vag removal, they pretty much hang you upside down so that your innards will fall away form the area.

So... um... me, naked, hung upside down with my legs splayed and a man spelunking downwards into me? Please insert some highly inappropriate jokes involving ball-gags and latex hoods here, but not if they offend you. In that case, please just erase erase pretend you didn't read that. I'm just... unsettled. Apparently "female" and "dignity" are diametrically opposed concepts in the world of medicine.

Is it too late in life to take up alcoholism as an alternative lifestyle?
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  #2  
Unread 12-02-2011, 02:17 PM
Re: Finally got my date set, but the bad news is...

I understand your discomfort having a man "down there". I purposely have a female primary care doctor for this reason. But when I had pre-cancer on my cervix the gyne she referred me to is male. And I'm so glad she did. This ordeal with my cervix and then adenomyosis has been a long and hard road for me. And this man has held my hand, consoled me when I cried (which was every time I saw him) and patted my knee and told me that together we'll get me better. I love him and I'm grateful to have such an amazing man help me through this very difficult time. I had a TVH and from what I've read, they position you on your back, with knees up and apart (froggy-style). I prefer to not dwell on that aspect! In addition to my gyne, my anesthetist was male and who know, there may have been male nurses in the OR as well. I prefer to not think of that either! It's hard when you're in so much pain that you're willing to do something you're very uncomfortable doing. I can relate since I did not want the surgery at all. But I did it anyway. I hope everything goes well for you.
  #3  
Unread 12-02-2011, 02:44 PM
Re: Finally got my date set, but the bad news is...

Thank you - that made me tear up (in a good way) and makes me hopeful. I have not met this man yet, because I only see the female docs at the practice.

I will be optimistic that mine is as comforting as yours was!
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  #4  
Unread 12-02-2011, 03:05 PM
Re: Finally got my date set, but the bad news is...

I'm glad it helped. And the day of surgery, you never know who will show up in the OR... so keeping men out of there may not be a realistic (although it's understandable!) goal. Hopefully this doctor is lovely and kind and talented and you have a picture-perfect surgery!
  #5  
Unread 12-02-2011, 03:32 PM
Re: Finally got my date set, but the bad news is...

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Kay_Rock View Post
They managed to get me in the 22nd of this month. BUT the "assist" will have to be the male doctor in the office. If I want to wait for the other female sr surgeon, I will have to wait until January and I can't imagine trying to get through any more time than this and even this is too darned much.

So dec 22, just in time to spend the holidays miserable. At least my husband can easily take time off of work over that time.

But a male doctor. UGH UGH UGH. I know the world always says that men can be fine gynecologists, but it disturbs me HUGELY. The only reason I can even begin to accept this is because I'm in so much pain.

I have written hilarious rants about my feelings about male gynecologists elsewhere but I fear my sense of humor might be a bit too... intense for the ladies here. The support here is always good natured and positive and I don't want to mar that with my craziness, LOL. Suffice to say that my distrust of male gynos goes down to the bone and I am upset and nervous and I want to cry and cry.

I also learned that in order to do the Vag removal, they pretty much hang you upside down so that your innards will fall away form the area.

So... um... me, naked, hung upside down with my legs splayed and a man spelunking downwards into me? Please insert some highly inappropriate jokes involving ball-gags and latex hoods here, but not if they offend you. In that case, please just erase erase pretend you didn't read that. I'm just... unsettled. Apparently "female" and "dignity" are diametrically opposed concepts in the world of medicine.

Is it too late in life to take up alcoholism as an alternative lifestyle?
Hey kay_rock! I'm happy to hear that you got an earlier date! That's good news considering the pain you have been in. Way better than january. I know it does put a damper on christmas, but at last you will be healing, not suffering and waiting. As for the male dr. I know you are unhappy about it, I remember when I was pregnant with my son I only wanted a female to deliver, but when the time came I no longer cared i just wanted the baby out! I would have delivered myself if I could! lol

I feel the same way about the hystorectomy...I'll take the dame thing out myself if I knew how! I didn't know that they tip you upwards and all that. Kind of wish I didn't know that lol got to go take a xanax now that I'm a little freaked out! lol
  #6  
Unread 12-02-2011, 03:53 PM
Re: Finally got my date set, but the bad news is...

Well, I am really glad you have a sense of humor because right now I am so stressed out my face is bright red and my chest feels like an elephant has taken up residence. I needed a laugh, and inappropriate humor is fine with me - hanging upside down with those spokes sticking out of me, I think of Uncle Fester from the adams family in the stretcher.... the things we go through are right. I am struggling myself to think about the davinici xbox-like robot that is supposed to assist me - I should have never watched the video - wayyyy better to just be ignorant... (Not really , but bless their hearts the women who don't want to know.... but frankly I don't think it is anyone on here - because it is our natural curiosity to take an interest)... I was wondering if they could save my video (you KNOW they do) and I could show it on christmas eve, thus preventing further years of 45 people the night before christmas. ... (just kidding of course) my Dear Sons would be mortified and disown me.... Good luck Kay_rock - I keep thinking about what you might chat to them about once the party anesthesia is started! LOL. keep your humor, donate the rest....
  #7  
Unread 12-02-2011, 04:21 PM
Re: Finally got my date set, but the bad news is...

Hi! In my own personal experiences, I PREFER a male doctor over female! I know you are thinking, "Is she crazy?" I found that males go slower and are more gentle. Maybe I AM crazy, or maybe it is because they don't know exactly how it feels, so they are more "careful". Again, this is just my own experience, and I know this is not true for everyone. I guess I feel they are a professional and they see girl parts all day, every day. They are there to help me. They have heard it all and seen it all, so whatever I am going say won't phase him! My husband is also fine with my doctor as well. He was an amazing surgeon, and with a surgery as important as a hysterectomy, I want the best (male or female!).
  #8  
Unread 12-02-2011, 05:11 PM
Re: Finally got my date set, but the bad news is...

Hi - I actually started out years ago with a female gyn - I found her to be rough and uncaring and always in a hurry. About 14 years ago I switched to a male gyn. ~ it was the best decision I have ever made ~ he is very gentle, compassionate, and caring. He will be doing my Davinci on January 12th and I would not dream of anyone else doing it. As far as modesty I figure he has seen so much over his career that he is not phased by it - he did my aunts hysterectomy 20 years ago - I am 36 and have had breast cancer since I was 30 so have lost all modesty - it seems that I am somewhat considered a miracle as I had stage IV with liver metastasis and was only expected to make it 1 or 2 years so now whenever there is a student or group of students I always get them in the room - the worst was when I was seeing the breast surgeon for a yearly appointment and she had about 6 students with her with some being men - of course they watched her examine my mastectomy side as well as my remaining breast so after being paraded out so many times I guess it just does not phase me anymore. I think there are alot of great male gyns out there and I hope that the one that will be doing your surgery will be one of them!! Good luck to you and hang in there until the 22nd!! Check back and let us know how it turns out! Hugs to you!
  #9  
Unread 12-02-2011, 05:22 PM
Re: Finally got my date set, but the bad news is...

I just think that you have a preference as far as male or female.

Everyone is different.
I don't care if it is a he or a she, provided he/she is not only a good doctor and surgeon, but I feel comfortable talking with him/her.

my doctors and gyn/surgeon just happen to be male.

You are allowed to have a preference.

Good Luck!

Yes, I have a male doctor. He has been in higher education for over 15 years. He's earned my trust. He is a gyn/oncologist.
  #10  
Unread 12-02-2011, 05:23 PM
Re: Finally got my date set, but the bad news is...

I think it comes down to being competent. Have great female docs and also great male docs. I have absolutely no concern now about how I look or any of that. Being so sick that you can not stand, can't think, and all I can think of is please help me. Sometimes all I can think is I don't care if an elephant walks in here, I will even let them help me! As long as they could help me I didin't care. I am sure you will do fine. Sending lots of good thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery
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