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11 days and counting... with apprehension 11 days and counting... with apprehension

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Unread 12-03-2011, 10:27 PM
11 days and counting... with apprehension

So surgery is in 11 days. Pre-op appointments are set, insurance is approved, freezer is stocked with pre-cooked meals, spare room is set up for as my "recovery-room", overnight bag is packed for my stay at the castle, lesson plans are prepped for subs in my classes, Christmas shopping is done... yeah, I'm ready. Except for I'm starting to wonder if it's necessary for me to be going through with this. The thing that really made me make the decision to do this in the first place was that my heavy monthly flow and cramping was disrupting my life (causing me to miss work, not being able to do the activities that I live to do, interfering with my relationship to my husband, etc.) I bled for 5 months straight before saying yes to the surgery. Now, 2 weeks before my visit to the castle, my bleeding has stopped! I still have a little cramping, but it's nothing compared to what I'm used to living with. I'm almost starting to feel normal again.... so now I'm thinking "is doing this really necessary?" I know I should stay the course and stick with the plan (and I'm definitely not going to change my mind and back out at this point), but I almost want Aunt Flow to come visit with a vengeance in the next few days just so that I can justify my decision to have this surgery. Tell me I'm not losing it because I want bleed now!
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Unread 12-03-2011, 10:38 PM
Re: 11 days and counting... with apprehension

My surgery is Dec 16. I am also having second thoughts since I have felt great the last 4-5 days. It's ok. If the medical indications are there (mine is pain due to fibroids not heavy bleeding) they will return.
Unread 12-03-2011, 11:36 PM
Re: 11 days and counting... with apprehension

Girl don't change your mind. Its a long recovery i won't lie but life without worrying about aunt flo ruining life, taking too long to leave,causing uneeded days off work is soo sweet. I am actually one of the lucky ones I had my TAH SEPT 7 and was actually able togo back to work in 4 weeks time. I worked 1/2 days for my first two weeks back. Yes i was tired but I was determined not to use more time off than i absolutely had to. Trust and believe once you recover you will be so so happy. Good luck and hugs to you.
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Unread 12-04-2011, 09:58 AM
Re: 11 days and counting... with apprehension

I know how you feel. I was scheduled for my hyst. back in July due to cramping, fibroids, daily spotting....there was a fear of uterine hyperplasia because of the thickness of my uterine wall....but endometrial biopsy proved to be VERY difficult because my gyn had trouble gaining entry thru my cervix to actually get a biopsy. She was not happy with her sample and although it came back as "approaching hyperplasia", she seemed concerned that it could be worse. She advised the hysterectomy because she felt the fibroids would continue on their aggressive growth pattern and she wanted to get it out before they got too big for laparoscopy along with the hyperplasia possibility. Due to both my conflicts and my doctors conflicts I was unable to set the surgery until July...(it was late early April when I got her recommendation)

I began a very strict exercise and diet program and although I was already fit, I became super fit. I was trying to see if I could stop the growth of the fibroids on my own. By the time July arrived, my spotting had become super light and my cramping had all but disappeared. I could not make peace in my mind about the surgery. I was in turmoil 2 days before. In the end, I realized that I was NOT mentally ready to do this surgery and I was going thru with it mostly because I was embarrassed about canceling so late. My husband finally convinced me that being embarrassed about canceling was NO reason to go thru with the surgery and I would regret my decision afterwards if I did. So I cancelled and felt instant relief.

I ended up going for a second opinion and going thru a D&C and another endo biopsy.....both were failures due to inability to get endometrial tissue because of my apparent unyielding cervix. So here I was in the same boat 4 months later. Facing a hysterectomy, not because I definitely had something wrong with me, but because they weren't able to definitively tell me that I didn't. All the costs of these tests were starting to add up and I felt like I had hit a wall. I had pretty much gotten all the physical issues in check, but I still had that nagging possibility of a pre-cancer condition. So here I am now, 4 days post op.

Do I regret my decision to wait.....absolutely NOT. I had to be sure in my mind that I had exhausted ALL my possibilities. I think I would have always wondered if I had done the right thing. Of course it would be nice to be 4 months past the surgery, but the physical healing will come.

It seems that so many woman wait and wait and then once they have the surgery, can't believe they waited so long. To me it seems that women with super severe issues/problems prior to surgery, are the most satisfied and happy about the end result of surgery. Those of us that are kinda on the fence with issues/problems prior to surgery have a harder time with the surgery.

Seems like your problems are pretty severe, but now all of a sudden things have tailed off, which has understandably given you pause. Maybe the question you should ask yourself is if you did postpone, and then in the end actually had to go thru with the surgery anyway because your symptoms came back, would you be really upset that you postponed? Or would it be worth the delay to you to make certain? I am a person that tends to dwell on regrets....so the delay for me was worth not having any regrets.

I wish you all the luck.....in whatever you decide.
Unread 12-04-2011, 06:10 PM
Re: 11 days and counting... with apprehension

My excitement of not bleeding for a few days ended this morning as I began to spot again. Maybe my wish of having Aunt Flow go out with a bang is going to come true! LOL! I know I'm going the right thing and that if I wait I'm only going to prolong the inevitable. I'm ready, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Now if only the 14th was here already so that I don't have these doubts again! Thanks for your input ladies. It helps having you all here to vent to and "talk" with. (((HUGS)))!!!

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