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the waiting is hard the waiting is hard

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  #1  
Unread 12-08-2011, 10:49 PM
the waiting is hard

Just got the news monday after 2 months of scans. I like so many others here thought heavy periods and pain were part of life. I even have pain after sex. My Dr. Just said try the pill. Well I ended up in the ER. I have loads of cysts and fibroids turns out. So put comes the uterus and they will biopsy a mass on my ovary. If there is cancer they will cut me and take the ovaries too. So scared. I won't know until I wake up if I have cancer.
I've become a hermit. I don't go anywhere mostly because of pain. I cry when I'm alone and half the time I don't know why.
I'm the one who usually takes care of everyone so this is so hard. And I know people don't mean it but I hate the pity and all the " I'm sorry "s. And one minute people are sympathetic and the next minute they are made you didn't show up for a party or missed a bday.
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  #2  
Unread 12-08-2011, 11:40 PM
Re: the waiting is hard

Hi Sara I just want to tell you that you are not alone this site is one of the best support that I have gotten since I started the journey of my hysterectomy.I got so much info and support from other women that are having there surgery around mine.Now you need to take care of yourself and be a little selfish.You need to take care and think of yourself.Talk to your family and friends on what is going on and that you will need some help.I know that waiting time you will need to focus in getting ready for your surgery that is how I made myself busy with and other positive things.I did a lot of praying more when I would get anxious or sad.Hang in there and my best wishes and prayers on the results.Let us know how it all go.
~heal
  #3  
Unread 12-09-2011, 07:37 AM
Re: the waiting is hard

  Quote:
Originally Posted by heal75 View Post
Hi Sara I just want to tell you that you are not alone this site is one of the best support that I have gotten since I started the journey of my hysterectomy.I got so much info and support from other women that are having there surgery around mine.Now you need to take care of yourself and be a little selfish.You need to take care and think of yourself.Talk to your family and friends on what is going on and that you will need some help.I know that waiting time you will need to focus in getting ready for your surgery that is how I made myself busy with and other positive things.I did a lot of praying more when I would get anxious or sad.Hang in there and my best wishes and prayers on the results.Let us know how it all go.
~heal
I agree. Sara, think of this as a rebirth. You may lose your ovaries or not, but when you emerge from the other side of this - you get a new lease on life, without all the heavy bleeding and roller coaster of pain that you have experienced. I am just two weeks post op and it is sinking in that I wont ever have to wear a pad again. I am already sleeping better and have no pain in my belly. The post op healing was really good after this procedure. Dont fret about the biopsy. Lots of crazy stuff seems to grow on our ovaries and in our uterus but catching it and getting it out of there is the first big step and you are taking it.
People seem to say stupid and ignorant things. Just ignore it. Those who are really close to you will understand and be there for you and the rest just wont matter.
Hugs
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  #4  
Unread 12-09-2011, 08:37 AM
Re: the waiting is hard

Thank you so much!
Hugs to all
  #5  
Unread 12-09-2011, 09:16 AM
Re: the waiting is hard

I am SO tired of the waiting/anticipation. I'm coming up on about 3 days away now. I've been counting down my work hours. I scheduled a cookie party at my house on saturday and i don't know if that was a good idea (distraction) or bad one (not feeling festive).

I'm so tired of being obsessed with myself and obsessed with my v. The doctor told me that i'll feel so much better and i probably don't know how bad i currently feel i've gotten used to it.

I'm having mine removed because the fibroids have gotten bigger and to the point where they are pressing on my bladder causing me to be incontinent at 38. I'm also getting a bladder sling.

It's been nice reading the post op stuff to see that there is life after surgery.

Good luck!!
  #6  
Unread 12-09-2011, 09:21 AM
Re: the waiting is hard

I also freaked out on my best friend and yelled at my husband last night. They're both angels who have endured my erratic/EMOTIONAL behaviour for the past two months. I'm looking forward to giving them a break.

I've also been telling wierd random people about it and then not telling people that should be aware because then i start crying.

The days will slip by. This site has helped. "Preparing" has helped me too.
  #7  
Unread 12-09-2011, 09:54 AM
Re: the waiting is hard

  Quote:
Originally Posted by maudy View Post
I also freaked out on my best friend and yelled at my husband last night. They're both angels who have endured my erratic/EMOTIONAL behaviour for the past two months. I'm looking forward to giving them a break.

I've also been telling wierd random people about it and then not telling people that should be aware because then i start crying.

The days will slip by. This site has helped. "Preparing" has helped me too.
I blew up at my supportive husband too last night. My surgery is 3 days away.... It helps to get a good nights sleep. I finally got a prescription for a sleeping pill and I woke up happy after 2 weeks of 2 hour night sleeps. Take care and good zen to us all!
  #8  
Unread 12-09-2011, 11:55 AM
Re: the waiting is hard

Blew up at hubby yesterday too. Our life is already very stressful without the surgery. We got to fighting about some of those problems. He kept saying he is just as stressed as I am. I said, ya, when are they cutting you open? He decided he couldn't top that and stopped.

I am sick, exhausted, stressed, freaked out, and in pain. I have decided that until I recover from surgery whatever anyone else wants is just too bad. Anyone who tries to say it's not a big deal can just go to heck.

So for the next few days before surgery I'm only dealing with what I want to. No the house will not be spotless, all things won't be caught up, I will not be going back to work 2 days after surgery, I will not be cooking and cleaning anything I don't want to or doing anything I don't feel up to.
  #9  
Unread 12-09-2011, 12:17 PM
Re: the waiting is hard

Ok so I'm not the only one! I'm crying at the drop of a hat from pure stress. My LSH w/multiple repairs is Mon. I found out that last Thu(12/1), that my ins co had without warning, changed my carrier! So since then I've been trying to get an act of Congress to quick change it back. As I write this, I'm at admitting for my pre-op testing, LITERALLY WAITING for a fax from my ins to be sent to the hospital. I'm in pain, I'm tired, I'm sick and tired of crying, and I'm honkerblonked that as long as I've waited to finally be fixed, I'm at the mercy of red tape I retain nearly half of what's in my bladder every time I void. You know when the dr feels sorry for you it's bad. I don't post/talk much so sorry for venting in your thread.
Sara, I have faith that you are cancer free, and I'll have you in my thoughts and prayers. This site offers tremdous support for all of us Sisters together. Be well and may your wait end soon, and speedy healing
Cindy
  #10  
Unread 12-09-2011, 12:47 PM
Re: the waiting is hard

Sara, I'm so sorry that there is so much added stress to an already stressful time. Worrying about lab results is so scary. More so than the actual surgery. You aren't alone. We are here for you. Worrying with you.
You are in my prayers.
~BH~
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