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General questions about recovery General questions about recovery

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Unread 12-26-2001, 12:27 PM
General questions about recovery

I had a hysterectomy about three weeks ago with removal of ovaries, uterus, cervix. About three months before I found that I needed surgery, my husband of twenty years filed for divorce. I am only 41 and this has hit me extremely hard. I read a lot of the messages about people being happy that they did this and I am wondering - did you feel this way right away ? I feel there is something wrong with me to be so upset but I feel a tremendous loss. In addition I am trying to do so much taking care of two kids, getting ready for Christmas, etc. I have been pretty much on my own since four days after surgery and just seem so wiped out all the time. I had two csections so I'm not sure the surgery has wiped me out although I did need two transfusions because I had a blood count of 4 in the hospital. I am at a loss to know what to do. I don't know anyone else who has ever had a hysterectomy and I feel that people don't understand. I guess I feel isolated.

Are there any other single mothers or people out there that feel like I do ? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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Unread 12-26-2001, 01:19 PM
General questions about recovery

You've come to the right place - no Sister is isolated here. Come on in and sit down on this soft couch and we can all chat.

In a perfect world, at 3 weeks post-op, you would have a nanny taking care of the kids, and a loving friend to wait on you hand and foot. Of course, then there is reality... You feel wiped out because you are doing way too much, and your body isn't getting the rest it needs to heal. Also, one of my first indicators that I was doing too much was that I'd start feeling teary. Part of the sadness you feel might just be exhaustion, pain, frustration with not being able to do as much as you'd like, etc.

I was thrilled to be having a hyst, no question or second thoughts about it, and even I got hit by the "crying at everything on TV" I'd heard so much about. Yes, you are probably genuinely sad about some other circumstances in your life, and lots of women do feel a real, deep sense of loss at having a hyst. But try not to assign *too* much meaning to what you are feeling - I'm betting most of it will pass with time and rest.

Is there anything you can do to get yourself some time off? First, stubbornly refuse to do anything that doesn't *have to* be done. The carpets will not rot if they aren't vacuumed for a few more weeks. The kids won't die if you feed them delivery pizza off paper plates. Do you have a friend who can do some shopping for you? Maybe you could get a sitter in for part of each day, who could keep an eye on the kids while you take a nap, or just rest without having to worry about what they are up to. Are you part of a church or other community who could help you out?

A hyst is a much bigger deal than a c-section, plus you had the blood loss - that's a lot to recover from. Even doing everything right (resting, not cleaning, not cooking, eating well, walking, etc.), normal recovery from a hyst takes about 6-8 weeks before you start feeling somewhat normal. Then about another 6 months to a year before you stop feeling the effects altogether.

Hang in there. Know that you are not alone, and that everything you've described is perfectly normal. You'll feel better and heal better if you can take things easier. But in any case you'll be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel in a few weeks. And in a few months you'll be doing great.
Unread 12-26-2001, 02:07 PM
General questions about recovery

Well said "Horsewoman", you heed her advice Kssschoon. All of these things you are going through would stop wonderwoman in her tracks. Give yourself a break and see if you can get some help. Depending on how old your kids are, you sit them down and explain how tired you feel. I know it will be rough to see them "clean" up but it will be a good experience for them (and you can redo it later, when you feel better ).
Take care.
Feel free to vent.

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