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Affraid I'm losing my husband,please help Affraid I'm losing my husband,please help

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  #1  
Unread 12-14-2011, 08:26 PM
Affraid I'm losing my husband,please help

I'm 41yrs old and had complete hyst at 36rys old due to endo. Have been taking premarin 0.9mg since hyst.unfortunitly doc didn't take hormone levels b4 hyst to c where my levels should b. My body doesn't crave sex like it use too and it's causing problems in my marriage.My husband says I went cold. He just doesn't understand. I still want my husband. As much as I did b4 the hyst, I just don't know how to get my body to work with my brain. When I do get to b intimate with my hsband I have to b carefull so that he doesn't hit my internal scare, because even after 5yrs it is still pretty touchy. Is there anything I can use to numb this area so that when it is hit it isn't painfull for me?
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  #2  
Unread 12-14-2011, 08:40 PM
Re: Affraid I'm losing my husband,please help

hello. my name is tanya. i'm 28 and had a partial vag hyster last june. my husband and i have been married 4 yrs, together almost 9yrs. he too said i've gone cold. i dont care for sex at all unless i'm very, very drunk. i too am afraid that oneday he'll leave because i cant have anymore kids and dont want sex. you're not alone and us sisters need to hold tightly together in our time of need. plz keep in touch. take care my sister
  #3  
Unread 12-14-2011, 08:59 PM
Re: Affraid I'm losing my husband,please help

Thank you Tanya for ur support. You r so right we do need to hold tightly together,we r the only ones who understand each other and what we r going thru. I am so sry to hear that u r going thru this at such a young age. My thoughts and prayers r with u.take care care and god bless
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  #4  
Unread 12-14-2011, 10:02 PM
Re: Affraid I'm losing my husband,please help



I am sorry you are having some issues with your hormones and marriage.

There are others who will be able to offer better advice but let me see if I can help a little.

  Quote:
Originally Posted by twiister View Post
unfortunitly doc didn't take hormone levels b4 hyst to c where my levels should b.
Actually, with ovaries your hormone levels change almost constantly as your body adjusts and produces what you need, so having the levels test pre hysterectomy may be inadequate and almost impossible. Additionally, many of us with endometriosis have estrogen dominance issues--possibly because of the estrogen produced by our endometriosis--so we wouldn't want those levels duplicated anyway, especially since HRT can affect any remaining endometriosis.

  Quote:
My body doesn't crave sex like it use too and it's causing problems in my marriage.
This might be a testosterone issue. Have you discussed the situation with your doctor?

  Quote:
When I do get to b intimate with my hsband I have to b carefull so that he doesn't hit my internal scare, because even after 5yrs it is still pretty touchy.
Have you talked to your doctor about this? It is possible that your vaginal cuff has endometriosis or granulation issues. There could also be an adhesion involving the cuff as was the case for me.

I would really suggest you make an appointment with your doctor and discuss everything you shared here. Your doctor could help you determine if your hormones need adjusted and if there is a medical issue involving the cuff that can be treated. You may want to take your DH to the appointment so he will fully understand what is going on with your body.

  #5  
Unread 12-14-2011, 10:20 PM
Re: Affraid I'm losing my husband,please help

I guess I'd like to add something else to think about. I never realized that giving the vaginal canal itself additional estrogen would help. Even though I was taking enough to keep the other physical symptoms away, I didn't realize that you may still have to add some estrogen locally. There are some different products you can use. I happen to use compounded troches. There is Premarin cream, Estrace cream, Vagifem tablets, and Estring. With the vaginal area fairly dried out, the feeling was also diminished. Also, if the tissue doesn't receive enough estrogen, it can actually cause shrinkage of the vaginal canal. Once I got things back in order, it was a difference of night and day.
  #6  
Unread 12-15-2011, 08:59 AM
Re: Affraid I'm losing my husband,please help

Thank you ladies for all your support and advice. At this point I am willing to try anything.Doctocers here I come again. God bless you all.
  #7  
Unread 12-15-2011, 06:27 PM
Re: Affraid I'm losing my husband,please help

I've used BHRT for the past 7 years and it has improved my quality of life incredibly! I haven't needed estrogen/estradiol, but get testosterone in pellet (implanted in hip) form every 3-4 months. I CAN tell when I need a new pellet! Besides my libido completely disappearing, I also feel fatigued and depressed! If you're libido is gone, it WILL come back with testosterone. I swear, first time I received testosterone, I was ready for the football team

Please see your doctor about this! And if he/she isn't knowledgable about BHRT or HRT, find someone who is. There are solutions that work!
  #8  
Unread 12-18-2011, 09:53 PM
Re: Affraid I'm losing my husband,please help

Testosterone. Definitely. I call it my "vitamin T". I would be a zombie without it (and for the record, I only learned about it from the gals on this site-none of my doctors discussed it with me in advance although my menopause specialist loves it and is mad that she has to prescribe it "off label" in Canada...the enclosed instructions are entirely directed at men and are a total hoot).

Lastly, do your husbands understand what the effects of this surgery are? Would it help if you forced them to sit down and read through this site? Or give them a book to better understand things? Have they tried to please you in other ways that do not involve your vagina??? Maybe you would not be "cold" if they had more open minds and did things that do not hurt. Many women do experience changes ro their sex drive after this surgery, including the need for more foreplay, lube, slower pace...less 'slam bam' sex.


Lastly-if you are on HRT, I do not think that you should try to rely on alcohol...I have found that drinking now messes me up more post-surgery so I largely abstain from it (just my two cents).

Good luck to you!

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  #9  
Unread 12-20-2011, 05:03 PM
Re: Affraid I'm losing my husband,please help

I'm going to throw in my two cents as well....
I asked my husband one day how he would feel if the doc decided he didn't "need" testosterone anymore since he wasn't able to reproduce anymore anyway (He's had "that" surgery)! He said all his "manly" functions would disappear including hair! LOL
Now every time I get upset with him over something legitimate that he has done, he thinks I need to call my doc and re-adjust my hormones! Hahaha..
Men don't realize that sometimes it has nothing to do with hormones. True, a lot of it IS hormonal but expecting me to start like up a Ferrari isn't realistic. I'm more like an old tractor that needs a bit of warming up first. I've told him that I'll talk to the doc about getting some T and it might help me but it won't turn me into him! LOL
  #10  
Unread 12-20-2011, 07:36 PM
Re: Affraid I'm losing my husband,please help

For me, Testosterone compounded cream (RX) and DHEA (OTC supplement) made all the difference in the world! It wakes everything up romantically and DHEA added vag moisture. I was very surprised how much younger it made me feel. I'm 47 and I have my levels checked regularly. My Dr is a GYN and an Endocrinologist. He suggest DHEA in capsule 25mg or a product called VagRestore that are DHEA tabs used vaginally at night.

Find a Dr that can help you.
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