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Unread 12-15-2011, 04:55 AM
Anxiety

The last few nights I wake up at 4am with a hot flash/night sweat (which I love, and wish I could keep... I'm usually cold all the time and warm is glorious)... but I'm also feeling anxious.

But I got to examining that feeling this morning and realized it's not anxiety... when I first wake up, it feels like I've been running or playing football or dancing or doing something intensely physical - it's not anxiety, it is (or at least feels like) an adrenaline rush. But to the body/brain at rest, it gets translated as "anxiety" and we don't know what to do with it. We're all keyed up and our soul says, "ANXIOUS! ANXIOUS!" and the body falls along with it...

This morning I laid in bed pondering this. At first my mind wanted to turn to thoughts it shouldn't ... anxious thoughts, "what if we can't pay the bills, what if the doctor calls and the pathology report has changed, what if I start bleeding again"... but I did like the Bible says and took those thoughts into captivity and instead created a mentally-active fantasy for myself (not a sexual one - more like mental gymnastics in the imagination) and I fell back to sleep and woke up feeling great.

Now that I'm released for exercise I might get up and run at that time, if I continue to wake up then...

Just wanted to post this for anyone struggling with those feelings... you don't have to be prisoner to them!
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