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Hysterectomy Regret? Hysterectomy Regret?

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  #1  
Unread 12-16-2011, 05:04 PM
Hysterectomy Regret?

I had a daVinci hysterectomy and BSO due to complex atypical hyperplasia in February.

I decided to do this because of the 30% chance that it can turn to cancer ( I am 55).

Incidental to the surgery a tumor ( in my left ovary) was found that was neither benign or malignant.

There were problems post-hysterecomy.

I had a back disc bulge problem that caused some weakness in
both inner thighs when I tried to get up out of bed or from a soft chair.

I had trouble standing up straight with good posture.
I unknowingly aggravated this with exercise (running and walking fast for an hour each day).
I now am having physical therapy, 2 days a week, and have seen a neurologist for the weakness and gait problems, and gastroenterologist for the chronic constipation that I have.

I also had granulation problems that have now since healed.

Anyway, I know everything will be alright eventually, but I realize that I don't have cancer!

I know that this is a good thing, but why do I feel that this can change in a day? I fell like I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop and someone tell me that it has all come back.

Did anyone do what I did just because they were scared of getting cancer?
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  #2  
Unread 12-16-2011, 07:27 PM
Re: Hysterectomy Regret?

I feel the same way. I was doing fine and one day I had a little spotting. It happened a few more times so I went to the GYN, thinking I would have a polyp removed and go on my way. The doctor said I did have a fibroid and it was getting a lot of blood, so I needed to have a hysterectomy. I was shocked. I had been though menopause and never dreamed this would happen. Then my pap smear came back bad and a biopsy came back bad. So I had two invasive procedures in his office and then a D & C. I thought maybe that would be it, but he still insisted I have a hysterectomy. I had it done on Nov. 30th. Went for a two week check-up yesterday. He had told me he was going to remove the uterus, tubes and ovaries. I wanted to keep the ovaries even at my age, but he insisted I needed to have them removed. I asked at my two week check-up what he removed. He seemed so pleased with himself and said he removed all he had said plus my cervix. I am devastated. I had a lot of depression last night night and this morning I had a complete breakdown. My doctor was so proud he had taken everything because according to him, although I had no cancer, I will now not ever have to worry about cancer. I no longer feel like a real woman. I wish I had not had it done!!! I can't get past thinking that there is just a big void where female parts should be. I'm divorced and now don't think I can ever have sex again.
  #3  
Unread 12-16-2011, 07:34 PM
Re: Hysterectomy Regret?

Hi Suziq-

I didn't have cancer, but I had extremely heavy bleeding that would continue for weeks on end. I had an ultrasound and biopsy to find out that cells were per-cancerous and uterine wall was 4+ times the thickness it should have been. I'm now 16 days out and it has been a hard recovery but I'm very glad I did it. Once in surgery, it was found that I had extensive endometriosis and fibroids, etc., plus extensive adhesions attaching part of my uterus to my bladder. I am thrilled to have that behind me! I still have my ovaries, though, and I am a fit 57 years old.

Regarding the disc bulge; years ago I had 3 severely herniated discs, confirmed by an MRI. It redefined pain for me! It was extremely helpful to sleep with a pillow between my knees and luckily, my doctor put me in physical therapy before considering surgery. The PT strengthened my abdominals, quads and ham strings. Within 3 weeks, I felt marked improvement. My doctor was an orthopedic surgeon who specialized in the spine. I suffered horribly with chiropractors for over 4 months before seeing a specialist. Have you considered an ortho surgeon?

I hope you get relief soon! And yes, I am celebrating that I won't have to worry about uterine or cervical cancer... and no more bleeding!
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  #4  
Unread 12-16-2011, 07:44 PM
Re: Hysterectomy Regret?

I had the da Vinci and the bladder sling. It's been 16 days and I'm doing fine except for the sudden onset of depression. I feel as if something has been stolen from me. My doctor said they found out I had Adenomyosis. I had extreme, severe menstrual cramping all my life and heavy bleeding. But all that was behind me. Immediately after my surgery he had said the tumor was larger than he had thought but was not cancer.

I cannot get past thinking of a big empty space in my body. It's driving me crazy.
  #5  
Unread 12-16-2011, 08:01 PM
Re: Hysterectomy Regret?

Curly Barbie ~

You posted while I was also posting. I'm so sorry that you are having these feelings. Is there anyone you can talk to about this? I know that I can tell you how I feel, but it doesn't take away your feelings. In my heart, I just know that my being a woman is not about my body parts or the way I look. It is about my God given feminine essence that is in the very life of me and I will never lose it. Being a 57 year old woman who always had a great body and pretty face, I've had to deal with a lot of 'change'. It hasn't been easy, but I've moved through it with grace. I, too, am divorced. My husband left me for a much, much younger woman. But I went on to meet the most wonderful man ever and sex has never been better. I did 'try on lots of shoes' before I found the right one! Anyway, maybe I'm rambling now, but please be loving to yourself and reach out to someone you can talk to. This site is a good start. Much Love to you <3
  #6  
Unread 12-16-2011, 08:01 PM
Re: Hysterectomy Regret?

I had my TVH 5 months ago for precancerous cells on my cervix, removed with LEEP procedure. GYN wanted two clear biopsies before he would release me. I had so much scarring on my cervix from the LEEP that even after 4 biopsies he couldn't get enough of a sample for pathology to test. Then it scarred so much my period couldnt get through. I tried continuous birth control but still tried to bleed and cramp. The GYN said adenomyosis. I would have dealt with the pain in order to keep my uterus, but I couldn't gamble with cancer. I wish I could undo my surgery as I'm still so swollen and having more pain than pre op. I wonder about the space my uterus occupied for 43 years. I never had a love/hate relationship with my uterus. The bleeding was light, regular, a little crampy but that was part of being a girl. I know I'm the same person but I don't feel like I am. My rational mind knows a lot of things that my emotional mind can't seem to grasp. Hang in there, Curly we are all here for you.
  #7  
Unread 12-16-2011, 08:08 PM
Re: Hysterectomy Regret?

Zcalgal, thank you so much for your response. I appreciate you being so candid with me. I can't even talk about this with tearing up. I know what everyone is saying is true, but I just keep picturing this big space down there.
  #8  
Unread 12-16-2011, 08:17 PM
Re: Hysterectomy Regret?

I totally understand how you feel. This is such an emotional surgery... there was no warning and even if there was, it wouldn't matter. Before my surgery, I spent a lot of time with my hands on my tummy, expressing love and gratitude to my uterus that was no longer healthy. It helped me a lot to be able to release it and I can't help but feel there is still residual (for lack of better word) energy in the space it occupied. Maybe sounds wacky, but it comforts me to think like that.
Love & blessings to you!!!!!
  #9  
Unread 12-16-2011, 08:29 PM
Re: Hysterectomy Regret?

Ladies, the physical space is filled in by your other organs. The space wasn't all that big to begin with if your uterus was normal sized. If it wasn't, like mine, my and your other organs thank us for giving them their rightful space back.
The other thing that I wanted to say is that your ovaries and your uterus do not define you as women. Your personality, your attitude and your kindness towards others are what define you, not an organ that was causing many of us trouble. I actually feel more feminine now that I don't have my bladder giving out on me at awkward times and I don't have a tummy that sticks out.
Treat yourselves to something you really love like a scented bath with candles (if you can at this time), a massage, some sexy underwear, etc. and think positive thoughts. You are all wonderful women that deserve the best life can give and that way of thinking starts with each one of you. You are wonderfully supportive of all of us so you need to be supportive of your own self. I hope this makes sense as this issue is really dear to my heart.
  #10  
Unread 12-16-2011, 08:39 PM
Re: Hysterectomy Regret?

Danni, thank you. I still can't stop crying, but I'm going to read your post several times a day.
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