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Date Has Been Set- Hope DH will be Good Date Has Been Set- Hope DH will be Good

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Unread 12-20-2011, 08:13 AM
Date Has Been Set- Hope DH will be Good

I found out last Friday my surgery date is Feb 6, 2012. I will be having a LSH if all goes well. Needless to say, I am very nervous. I worry about nausea, vomiting, pain, and having cabin fever during my recovery. Since I am self-employed I also worry about the loss of income and worry that I might lose some clients who can't tolerate my absence. My husband, who is usually very understanding, got a bit snippy with me this weekend because I was sick with a cold and did not feel like doing much. When I feel "blah" for whatever reason, I sometimes talk out loud to myself about how I am feeling. I don't know why I do this (perhaps goes back to my childhood?). Anyway, he told me this weekend that he thinks I am engaging in self-pity when I do this. This was a shock to me as I talk out loud to myself even when no one else is around! Then, I started thinking -what if I really am in pain and really do need some empathy from him after my surgery? I don't know whether I should feel guilty for this habit of mine or angry at him for not being compassionate with me. I always try to be very understanding and caring when he does not feel well. I know in my heart that I am not looking for "pity" when I say how I feel out loud. I don't ask to be waited on or for special favors (unless I am truly incapacitated) but for some reason, saying out loud how I feel helps me somehow. I've explained this to him and he says he understands, but now I am worried about how he will be during my recovery.
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Unread 12-20-2011, 09:03 PM
Re: Date Has Been Set- Hope DH will be Good

Being nervous is normal for surgery, especially THIS surgery. Talk to your doc about nausea. They can give you medication with the anesthetic that helps quite a bit. The pain can be moderated and eliminated with prescription pain killers. They will ask you your pain level, and give you meds to match. Cabin fever, I am afraid, is par for the course with recovery. But, you won't feel like doing much anyway because of the extreme fatigue.

Regarding your clients, I would imagine that they would be understanding if you explain the situation. Regarding DH, I bet he will be just fine. This surgery is hard on them too - it can be a stressful time before the surgery for the patient AND the family. My DH and I had some wicked fights in the days leading up to my surgery. I think he was just worried.

Regarding talking to yourself when you are sick, that may be just what you do. Everyone has different ways of coping and dealing with being sick - that just happens to be your method. I would not worry too much about it.

Unread 12-20-2011, 09:29 PM
Re: Date Has Been Set- Hope DH will be Good

I have a feeling once your husband sees you lying in that hospital bed after surgery he'll realize that you are incapacitated and really do need his help and sympathy. I know my DH was kinda "eh" before my surgery but once he saw me he knew I needed him. When my pain got too rough (getting out of bed the first time) he actually had to leave the room because he got sick.

They worry about us but don't like to admit it or talk about it. I think the fighting and butt-headedness are just reactions to their fear. I agree about the naseau. If you let them know they will give you something for it. I tend to get sick after anesthesia so they gave me a small IV bag of Pepcid along with the fluids before surgery. They also gave me something in my IV before, during, and after the surgery.
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Unread 12-21-2011, 11:09 AM
Re: Date Has Been Set- Hope DH will be Good

Thank you marestail and lawgsa for your kind responses. You both were right: my DH apologized to me yesterday and said he is just worried about me. Once, when I had to go to the ER because I was in severe pain, he had to pull the car over to throw-up because he was so nervous. He reassured me he will be there for me when I need him. We talked more about my "talking out loud" habit when I am sick and I think I do this because it was a way I comforted myself as a child. My family had "issues" and I was not always treated appropriately when I was a kid (especially if I was sick). Sadly, DH's family was similar and I think he was just repeating what was said to him when he was sick. Anyway, so glad I found this site and all you wonderful women.

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