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scared doesnt even begin to cover it scared doesnt even begin to cover it

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Unread 12-21-2011, 09:06 PM
Re: scared doesnt even begin to cover it

i am scared about sex part.but i guess i am going to go by my mom's advice,that it made it better.she also said those HRT that she got made her want it more.they have had a very active sex life for about 35 years,dad had to have prostectomy 5 years ago and it has almost killed their marriage where they cant have sex anymore but they love each other but it really hurt their marriage.they werent like a lot of couples u hear about that quit having sex they were at it all the time until his surgery,my dad is just so sad now.its pitiful
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Unread 12-25-2011, 11:50 PM
Re: scared doesnt even begin to cover it

Hi CharlieDawn. I had a TVH 5 months ago and kept my ovaries. I have cervical dysplasia and many many biopsies and LEEPs until my cervix scarred shut. I didn't want a hysterectomy but didn't really have another option. Your concerns are very valid and you should consider discussing them with your doctor. I was extremely stressed and sad pre op. But the surgery itself is ok. Recovery was slow for me but you will find we all vary with our recoveries. I was cleared for sex at 8 weeks but we waited until 9. It takes a few months for things to start getting back to normal. Me and DH are still not back to the way we were before. Sex feels the same for him, he notices no difference with having my cervix gone. It feels different for me but not in a bad way. My cervix hurt when DH bumped it during sex, so it's good to not have that anymore. There is no change in lubrication. Maybe a little decrease in desire on my part but then I'm still healing. The orgasm thing has been very difficult for me however. I didn't realize I used to have amazing orgasms. I knew I could feel my uterus contract and it would last a long time. Both my GP and GYN told me I wouldnt feel a difference. But for me there is a huge difference and it's been hard to deal with. I also wasn't prepared for the emotional roller coaster. Without the amazing support of my DH we wouldn't have made it. He did everything for me for many weeks. Never pressured me for sex (and still doesn't) and has hugged me many times when I cry for no reason or cry after sex because my orgasm was so disappointing. Please make sure you know all your restrictions post op. No bending, vacuuming, sweeping or laundry for six weeks or until doc clears you. I was able to make simple dinners after 3 weeks. So boyfriend will need to get on board and step up for you emotionally and physically. I hope I'm not painting a bleak picture for you. I'm just trying to pass on some of the info I wish I had pre op. Be prepared for some differences and adjustments. Sex post op requires patience and trust. And from what I've read on this site it takes the average person 10-12 months to heal completely.
Unread 12-26-2011, 02:42 PM
Re: scared doesnt even begin to cover it

sugarn spice you had it made!
i wasnt very scared until they put IV in at hospital.think about it if its something thatu gotta do to either be pain-free or cancer-free you gotta do it.its no picnic to recover from either.i just weighed the options and decided i had enough of pain to last me a lifetime.i barely had any support son helped me somewhat with housework and picking me up from the husband thought i was ready to work as soon as i started doing stuff around house.that was my BIG thing was doing to much after surgery if you dont watch yourself u backslide in your recovery.i felt completely better after 2 weeks and started doing a lot of stuff around house and i paid with it with a lot of need someone to help with housework.on hospital release it says HOUSEREST for 1st week no driving 1st 2 weeks.lack of post surgery support was what was wrong in my situation,but its best to relieve yourself from pain and suffering and get it over with to start living again
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Unread 12-26-2011, 02:56 PM
Re: scared doesnt even begin to cover it

I'm hoping that if I actually have to go through with it that I will have the help I need. Sometimes I wonder if I will. I've got my fingers crossed that I will find another option but things are not looking bright in that area. I've called the dr numerous times and all they say is that they think its the best option for this reason and that reason. I told them my concerns or concern I guessn seeing as how the changes is sex are the only thing I'm terribly worried about.... and the nurse says in the 25 yers she's been with this dr 99% of the women she's dealt with say its just as good or better. I've asked for information and all I get is stupid pamplets that don't really tell me anything. Hopefully second opinion dr is better at that part. Sugarandspicen I don't know if I can mentally handle the disappointment of not having that amazing orgasm. As you were talking about. It just seems like a whorlwind of a bunch of things that don't make any sence. I'm scared and frustrated and I feel like the drs aren't listening to what I'm actually saying. I asked about the leep since its never been done and they say that they don't think it will work and if it does it will probably only be for 5-10 years......well 5-10 years I say try it right?!?
Unread 12-26-2011, 03:08 PM
Re: scared doesnt even begin to cover it

i havent had sex,i am still scared.i agree with u and LEEP procedure.the recovery from this isnt very pleasant its doable but it isnt something i would ever want to do again.but look at all options but a lot of women that ends up havin leep has hyster.but you're right about you'd hav 5-10 more mom swears up and down she has better sex after her hyster and that was 20 yrs ago.she was very active 1st 15 yrs+ but my dad had prostate cancer so now they're ok but not likethey were when they were getting it on all the time
Unread 12-26-2011, 03:12 PM
Re: scared doesnt even begin to cover it

Well its good to hear your mom did so well after. And I guess I'm looking at a painful situation regardless of which way I go. Everyone here is very helpful. I wish the drs could be helpful too.
Unread 12-26-2011, 03:19 PM
Re: scared doesnt even begin to cover it

maybe u need to see another dr-one u can bond with.if u decide on this you'll be stuck with same dr for a dr was a man but he was a sweet man who was extremely considerate and wasnt in-and out of exam room in 5 minutes.he sit me down and really explained everything to me what to expect what not to.i feel he really was gentle with me in surgery cause i didnt feel real bruised from procedure.find one that will listen to you and your body,if u dont like next one find another until u click with one.also what i did was i looked him up on internet.i just googled him to be on safe side
Unread 12-26-2011, 03:22 PM
Re: scared doesnt even begin to cover it

Just make sure you're well informed and do your research. There are no guarantees with this surgery. I'm in more pain now than I was before and so I regret it. I realize this is not a typical outcome. Personally I can't imagine how sex could be better after the surgery, but I've seen numerous posts here that claim that. Perhaps that is when there is heavy bleeding during the month and pain associated with sex. Being free from those concerns could make it better on a mental level. Those were not concerns for me however. I had my hyster two years after my LEEP. But those weren't fun years, I was having to go for biopsies every 3 months during that time and they were extremely painful. What you need to do is weigh the benefits against the possible complications from the surgery. There may be some trade offs. I am still having pain, orgasm not so great, bladder still hurts and my belly is swollen so much I still can't wear anything but yoga pants even though I've lost weight.

Ps I also googled my surgeon to see if there were any legal action or complaints against him. I am pleased with the care I received from him and I don't consider any of my complications to be his fault.
Unread 12-26-2011, 03:24 PM
Re: scared doesnt even begin to cover it

ms.s&spice-is there anything they can do about this?this is 1 reason i havent had sex hubby isnt pushing the issue.
Unread 12-26-2011, 03:27 PM
scared doesnt even begin to cover it

Originally Posted by christinatas View Post
ms.s&spice-is there anything they can do about this?this is 1 reason i havent had sex hubby isnt pushing the issue.
Anything they can do about the orgasm?

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