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Day five still wishing for death Day five still wishing for death

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Unread 12-27-2011, 06:22 AM
Day five still wishing for death

When do you decide it's time to go back to the hospital? I don't want to hear from the nurses that "oh you're healing fine don't be a big baby" but the nausea and pain don't stop and I haven't slept more than 3 hours at a go (and those are rare and miraculous times) since before the surgery.

I can only take broth or juice or a cracker if I've been loading up on emetrol for hours. I don't sleep. I have no bowel activity. The pain is extraordinary, not just in my surgical area but all over my abdomen. I've had to give up my prescription pain medication due to vomiting but starting yesterday I was able to have some tylenol which does give some relief.

How long are we supposed to spend sobbing and wishing we were dead before it's no longer normal, and why isn't this part in any of the recovery handouts?

The idea of going back to the hospital makes me want to vomit. Seriously.

I'm a little surprised that my doc never called to check on me after surgery but I understand it was christmas and I certainly wouldn't want to impinge on her punchbowl celebrations with my little complaints. So I have no idea what normal is.

Keep in mind that I spent over a month having my pain invalidated, scoffed at, questioned, and at the mildest, puzzle over before my surgery showed that not only were my tumors larger than showed in THREE SEPARATE ultrasounds but my uterus had also folded over and twisted over my bladder. So my doc gave me at least that moment of "well gosh no wonder it hurt so much" as her eyes lit up over the unusual condition of my uterus. Other than that, though, I am still intimidated by them and don't want to hear about how I'm a big whiny hyperbolic baby.

I know, nobody can give medical advice and of course I should seek help from a professional but I'd love to know if anyone else felt this bad or if it really is unusual.
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Unread 12-27-2011, 06:26 AM
Re: Day five still wishing for death

When I felt like that, I had infection. I do not want to scare you, but you need to call your doctor today. The pain and nausea are not a good sign. I didn't have a high fever because I caught it early. I am so sorry you are not feeling well. maybe you can get in with your doctor and you won't have to go back in hospital. Good luck and hugs and prayers for you.
Unread 12-27-2011, 06:32 AM
Re: Day five still wishing for death

Oh Kay, I am so sorry for your pain both now, and prior to surgery!!

I have to tell you, based on the description you've given of the type of pain that you are in, I would strongly suggest that you go to the hospital! Break-through pain is one thing but the amount of pain you're describing, coupled with the lack of ability to eat solid foods should be discussed with a doctor or nurse.
If you are in that much pain your body cannot concentrate it's efforts on healing, it really is slowing down the healing process (I was in near constant severe pain for 2 weeks only to find out that I had a wicked UTI that was giving me undue pain and suffering).

Please keep us updated!!
*Gentle hugs*
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Unread 12-27-2011, 06:42 AM
Re: Day five still wishing for death

I am quite concerned for you as well. That much nausea and vomiting combined with NO bowel activity at all makes me concerned that you are developing an obstruction. This is actually fairly common after surgery when you are on narcotic pain medication. You should be SIGNIFICANTLY better than you are. I believe you need to go to the ER, check in with a complaint of nausea/vomiting/abdominal pain/no bowel activity with a history of recent abdominal surgery. I promise you, they WILL take you seriously. Take it from someone who works in that capacity.

Huge hugs to you!
Unread 12-27-2011, 06:52 AM
Re: Day five still wishing for death

You shouldn't be this sick. Call your doctor as soon as the office opens. Talk to a nurse, not the receptionist. Tell her you want to be seen today and if she won't accomodate you, go to the ER. You can't heal if you are that sick. In the meantime, drink fluids to stay hydrated. Please let us know what the doctor says.
Unread 12-27-2011, 07:36 AM
Re: Day five still wishing for death

Hi Kay,

Yes, I think you should go back and tell them how you feel. Is the ER in the hospital you got the surgery done?
If yes, than I would suggest once you get there try to reach your surgeon as well. This way he cannot ignore you and he must do something.
One thing...if you didn't have a BM in so many days then this is dangerous too. You might feel some pain from there as well .... Try to eat some plums 3-4 pieces...or plum jam ...this is what I got in the hospital from day 1. It helped a lot.

Take care and do something...don't wait.
Unread 12-27-2011, 08:30 AM
Re: Day five still wishing for death

Kay, I think you've already heard lots of great advice - you should call your Dr or go to the ER. I'd like to add 2 more cents. I'm sure you have someone to drive you, but it would be great if they could stay with you in the ER or at the Drs office. It's so very difficult to be an advocate for yourself when you are hurting, dizzy, scared, etc. With everything you've been through, I would be intimidated in your shoes too, but someone else there to advocate on your behalf (firmly if necessary!) might help people fall into line more quickly. My partner had to pull a couple of nurses into the hall "for a discussion" during my hospital stay and later my surgeon had to do the same thing. It helped smooth some issues I was having with treatment and lack thereof. Just remember, all of these professional are being paid to take care of you and somehow they need to listen, regardless of holidays or the fact that it took awhile for your issues with pain to be diagnosed!! Good luck, hang in there.
Unread 12-27-2011, 08:32 AM
Re: Day five still wishing for death

Kay__Rock---- I am sorry to hear about all your pain but I am curious as to how serious do you see your situation?? I am concern that you are having a difficult time determining the severity of your situation. Is there someone in your family or support system who can advocate for you?? Do you think you have any other options to get help?? It seems as if you don't trust your primary doctor. Are you able to see another physician since you fear your current doctor?? What would you like for the doctor to help you with?? You indicate that the pain medicine makes you sick, so how do you perceive that the doctor is going to resolve your pain without pain meds??

In order for your sisters to give you a more informed advice, we need a little more insight on what was your doctor's recommendation to you regarding eating, pain and activity. I am sure the doctor or nurses gave you discharge instructions because that is part of the management of your condition.

I think you have a large consensus and support of your sisters here suggesting that your situation deems immediate attention?? As you indicated, we cannot give you medical advice. Do you agree with our suggestion or are you looking for something different??-- If you find it difficult to communicate with your doctor then I would strongly suggest that you have your support system advocate for you. However, your recovery does not appear to fall within the “Norm.”

I think the primary place you need to be right now is at the ER or your doctor’s office. As I suggested before, I think it would be helpful if you would note the amount and frequency of your vomiting so you can inform the doctor about it. I would suggest drinking warm prune juice to help with constipation or taking Milk of Magnesium for constipation. If there is a possible blockage in your intestine that prevents you from tolerating your food, then the only help is from your doctor. I hope you take the multiple recommendations from here and go see the doctor. I hope you keep us updated on your condition; we are here to support you. Love and Best wishes
Unread 12-27-2011, 10:02 AM
Re: Day five still wishing for death

Hi. I'm so sorry you were made to feel as though your pain wasn't valid, that clearly has left you believing you'll receive similar treatment now.

I have a friend who had surgery before me, so I knew beforehand that the effects of the general anesthesia, and the pain meds, and the muscle and nerve trauma of the surgery, were pretty intense for several days post-op. General anesthesia can make a person feel completely off-kilter for longer than you'd think it would, it isn't gone the moment you wake up, it takes a while to filter out of your system.

Whatever you're feeling, you're entitled to your feelings, and it's perfectly oh-to to ask for and expect help. Whether you go to the ER, wait for the doctor's office, or go to Urgent Care, tell them you haven't had a BM, and the pain and after effects of your surgery are keeping you from resting. Those are serious concerns. They are health problems, not "emotional" problems, they aren't something that can be dismissed. The solutions may be simple, but the problems exist. Patients shouldn't be expected to be their own doctors and nurses, this is why we go to doctors and nurses - for help. You're not far into your recovery, there's no reason for anyone to expect you to have all the answers or to even be "rational", pain and fatigue and fear cause confusion and it's not on you to sort it all out if it has become overwhelming.

You're clearly in distress. Please don't let your worries about being previously dismissed get in the way of your recovery now. I agree an advocate is an excellent plan, someone who can and will speak for you clearly and forcefully. Let us know how it goes, and how you're doing. We're in this together!
Unread 12-27-2011, 10:29 AM
Re: Day five still wishing for death

Kay_Rock, if your doctor can't get you in today then go to the ER. There is no reason to be that miserable and if something is going on, delaying will only make it worse. Best wishes to you!

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