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Anyone else so young?  (children mentioned) Anyone else so young? (children mentioned)

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Unread 12-31-2011, 01:34 AM
Anyone else so young? (children mentioned)

I had my first child at 21 and it completely destroyed my uterus and everything else down there. A few months before i turned 23 I was scheduled for a hysterectomy and repairing everything. While I was in the hospital getting prepped for the OR they found out I was pregnant. We had tried for a year and told it wasmt going to happen, then...WHAM! I cried hysterically and the hospital staff thought I was nuts. I'd spent months preparing myself only to be thrown for a loop. It was a blessing and I'm thrilled to have two beautiful children, but that experience has me so emotionally damaged. I told my husband he wasn't allowed to even think about coming near me because I couldn't take that again. Now I'm dealing a second time with my age being a concern. I'm 23. My first surgeon had to jump through hoops and sit in a special meeting with the hospital to present my case before they would allow him to do it. I'm afraid my new surgeon will have the same problem now that I'm at a different hospital. I'm not sure if its fact, but they are acting like I'm the youngest person to ever have one done in the state of Alaska. I feel so stinking alone in this. I don't know anyone under 60 here that has had one. And the doctors have made me so nervous because they are nervous about having me be their patient.
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Unread 12-31-2011, 06:21 AM
Re: Anyone else so young? (children mentioned)

Wow you are young, if you don't mind me asking, what are the reasons for the hysterectomy?
Unread 12-31-2011, 07:24 AM
Re: Anyone else so young? (children mentioned)

You are a little younger than me...
I'm 27 & having da Vinci, removal of cervix and uterus, Possible Bos. I have ando & endo.... good luck with everything! !
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Unread 12-31-2011, 07:31 AM
Re: Anyone else so young? (children mentioned)

I am 26, just had a hysterectomy two days ago, no children. I have endometriosis and possible adeno(will know after the pathology reports) I hope that you find the relief that you need, but more importantly the peace of mind to take the best plan of action for you.
Unread 12-31-2011, 09:04 AM
Re: Anyone else so young? (children mentioned)

I am so sorry for your last scheduled hysteric and the crazyness. I cant imagine! I am glad you have two beautiful kids though! But what a moment to find out. I am 31, and a few people have given me "the lecture". Though most people are happy for me as i have suffered so much the last few years and most have seen how much it has effected me. I mentioned to a friend like 4/5 months ago. "Maybe i should just get a hysterectomy!" And she sincerely replied "i actually think it might be best for you. I hate to see you in so much pain and sick so much!" I hope the Re's consider what is best for you and realize you can make educated choices. It doesn't sound like a spur of the moment decision! Praying! You are not the first nor last person at your age to have a hyster. Keep us posted! Maybe make a list of your prior issues, experiences, how it effects your life, how it will help, the cons, and all the research you have done. Maybe that will help he Dr see you have seriously thought this out, and its not a spur decision! Keep us posted!

Unread 12-31-2011, 10:58 AM
Re: Anyone else so young? (children mentioned)

Thank you ladies! There are actually several things that are the reason for it. I have a family history of prolapse, so I was kind of genetically prone to it I guess. When I had my first daughter it pretty much destroyed all the supportive ligaments. My uterus falls completely to the opening of my vagina, my bladder and rectum have both collapsed down as well. I have developed stress incontinence but I also leak 24/7 requiring me to wear pads all tge time. I also have damage to my sphincter and my first OB did not sew the tear i had from birth well. Because of the leaking I constantly have odor issues, the cystocele causes frequent UTIs and kidney infections because of my inability to go (while i leak constantly my bladder is so collapsed that when its full i can only empty it a quarter of the way which is why i leak, because im never empty). I had to quit being active because any exercise, even walking, would force my prolapse so low that my vagina was being rubbed raw and developed sores. So, I've gained a lot of weight with my inactivity. I get lots of yeast infections because of how moist it stays. And sex hurts like nobody's business. My poor DH has been so understanding and never complains about anything, not even the lack of intimacy. I try on occasion because i feel bad denying him that, but i always end up in pain and then he feels bad so we try to avoid it altogether. We tried pessaries but the wouldn't stay in and wouldnt help the constant peeing. In addition to the hysterectomy the surgeon will be putting in a sling for my urethra, doing some sort of repair to the vaginal wall, re-doing the repair to my birth tear and repairing my sphincter. My doctor is totally on board with the decision, she's just nervous about possible...ramifications, I guess. I think what hurts the most emotionally are the peole who've said I should be happy I got two children, that scoff when I talk about adopting. Some people actually act almost like its selfish to even think about adoption. These are women who had one or two kids and called it quits of their own accord. I just want to yell and scream that maybe they wouldnt feel that way if that choice was taken away from them. All Ive ever wanted was to be a mom, and I am, I just don't think its fair that people feel they have the right to say they think I should just be content with what I have and not consider ever adding more children to our family. Anyways, the surgeon had tentively scheduled the surgery for a week my DH is gone (he is a corrections officer at a prison 4 hours away and works week on/ week off) so I'm hoping the later date (Feb 29) will work. I dont want to push it out much further. Im just so ready to have this over with already.
Unread 12-31-2011, 11:12 AM
Re: Anyone else so young? (children mentioned)

It sounds so more than resonable! And i am a HUGE adoption advocate! If you ever consider international adoption, let me know. I have friends who work for agencies! Recently during Christmas placing SIX infants from Ethiopia! I couldnt wrap my mind around adoption being selfish! But i have walked in two African countries on Visiting Orphans trips and have seen their tears (the twin girls on their 15 bday, at that age Ethiopia cuts you off from adoption!) The kids in the landfills, seeing moms meet their babies. The starvation and more so hunger for human love and dignity! I saw was a few dollars save lives. A team member wipe a childs nose and 40 kids line up to get their noses wiped, to just feel cared for, for just that one moment in time.

I hope he can do it! And ignore anyone telling you adoption is selfish! Lives are saved, kids secure, and who knows what they are capable of being!!! Its a amazing thing to step up and love and defend the fatherless!!

What a gift your husband seems. So glad you have his support and understanding!!

Keep us posted!!

Unread 01-03-2012, 12:33 AM
Re: Anyone else so young? (children mentioned)

I was pretty much in the same place as you. My husband & I got married when we were 18 years old. Our first son was born when I was 19 and our second son was born when I was 21. After our 1st was born, our Dr. told us 'no more babies' because of the high risk preg. and I was hospitalized 8 times. I always wanted a big family & when I saw my boy playing by himself and being so lonely, I decided to have another baby. I was hospitalized 17 times the second go-around and on bed rest after the 4th month. After he was born the Dr said 'if you do this again, the baby won't make it and neither will you...' So I made the hard decision to have my tubes tied. My Dr. worked with 5 other doctors and she was the only one willing to do the surgery on someone so young. I was sad to lose the ability to have babies but I didn't have a choice. It would have cost my life.
9 years after I had my 1st son, I started wanting a baby again. We adopted a beautiful baby girl. Her brothers love her so much and she is definitely a 'daddy's girl'. I get to do the pink bows and lacy dresses. We tell her that 'mommy's tummy was sick and she couldn't grow in there like brothers, so she had to grow in someone else's tummy to be our baby'. She loves her adoption story.
We have 3 beautiful children.
Don't be afraid of having your surgery. Yes you are young. You deserve to be healthy for your family now. And if you decide to 'grow' your family, adoption is there for you and your husband.
Good luck & my prayers are with you and your family.
Unread 01-03-2012, 12:38 AM
Re: Anyone else so young? (children mentioned)

Thank you. Its nice to know there are others out there. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to feel bad because its not like I have tumors or cancer. I just pee melf all the time and some people make me feel like I'm pathetic for not paying the price of discomfort to add to my family. It's just weird living somewhere where I'm such an oddity.
Unread 01-03-2012, 11:13 AM
Re: Anyone else so young? (children mentioned)

Although my situation was much different and I cannot offer advise regarding yours I will say this. Quality of life is much more important than what other people think. Those who scoff at adoption or aren't supportive of the choice you are making for yourself are they themselves completely selfish or have something in their own lives that they aren't willing to deal with so instead they try to "control" the decisions of others. I have no doubt that if those that scoff at your decision, had what you have and deal with everyday, they'd be running to the surgery room to have it fixed as soon as they could regardless of who said what.

Your quality of life is more important. You cannot be the best mom to your kids or the best wife to your husband when you are dealing with issues such as yours. Your young and have a lot of living to do, why should you live it in such a miserable state when you have the option of living it healthier, more fun and carefree? Own your decision and hold your head high. You owe no one an explanation or plan for your life or that of your family.

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