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undecided about having my sweetie at hospital undecided about having my sweetie at hospital

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Unread 01-01-2012, 10:22 AM
Re: undecided about having my sweetie at hospital

If you don't have your significant other with you after surgery, who will you have? There will have to be someone there who is responsible for you, in case something goes wrong or there are other concerns during surgery.

It really is your decision. Maybe you can have him "on call" in case you do want to see him afterward? That might be a good solution.

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Unread 01-01-2012, 11:14 AM
Re: undecided about having my sweetie at hospital

I personally would have wanted someone there before and after. Before surgery many people are stressed and it's nice to have someone to distract you. After, it was nice to have someone get things for me and just be there for company even though I was sleeping a lot.

If your relationship is very new perhaps this person should be someone else like a sister, mother, or friend. If this relationship is serious then why not him?

My husband hates hospitals, he has a lot of difficult memories of the accident that killed his mother and nearly killed him and also the accident that nearly killed his daughter. But he couldn't leave me there alone so he braved it and did fine.
Unread 01-02-2012, 06:30 PM
Re: undecided about having my sweetie at hospital

Just wanted to thank everyone for their comments and suggestions... I've decided that I will ask him to be there. (I would not have been alone in any case, as my sister will be with me for several days both before and afterwards.) On reading all that you've written, talking with a good friend, and thinking about it myself, asking him to be there will be including him in something that is MAJOR in my life, if he is not there then I am shutting him out, which is not the kind of relationship we are building together. You see, he and I have been together not quite a year, and we don't even live in the same state, he is about 120 miles away and we get together several times a month. I will feel better seeing his dear face and being able to hold his hand.
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Unread 01-02-2012, 10:33 PM
Re: undecided about having my sweetie at hospital

It's good to have someone, but glad to see you've decided to ask him to join you. My husband and father were in the recovery area with me and it's just nice to see a friendly face. They met me up at my room after that (after 9 at night). My husband stayed until after I fell asleep, and then I woke up just after he left and couldn't fall back asleep until 3 or so AM. Had to have the TV on.

He'll enjoy that you asked and hope he will be there for you!
Unread 01-03-2012, 06:36 AM
Re: undecided about having my sweetie at hospital

If I was you I'd have him there with you for love and support , the hospital Im going to in Leicestershire ,uk doesn't allow anyone to be with you before or afterwards untill the visiting times Im dreading it and tried so hard to get my boyfriend permission to stay but nurse said no... she said the rules are if there's a fire they only have to think of the patients not visiters aswell but it doesn't make it any easier for me, the only thing he can do is phone when ever he wants to I wanted him there when I wake up but don't get that choice..

good luck with your op

hugs Amanda xxx
Unread 01-03-2012, 06:45 AM
Re: undecided about having my sweetie at hospital

I'm staying in the hospital for 4 days so have chosen not to have my fab hubby come straight after the surgery. It's best for me if he stays with the kids and they come visit me the next morning when I'm hopefully awake and sunnier! I've had several surgeries and personally I find it exhausting to see them after surgery because I can't help but try to make them feel better!
Unread 01-03-2012, 07:54 AM
Re: undecided about having my sweetie at hospital

I believe it will make you both feel better to be there and trust me I doubt he cares if your dopey afterwards; he will just be thrilled your ok.
Unread 01-03-2012, 08:06 AM
Re: undecided about having my sweetie at hospital

It is a personal decision; I personally don't know how I would have gotten through it without my love, before and after. It was a great comfort to have him with me while I waited, he kept me distracted and amused. Afterward when I woke up I was loopy and a bit groggy but my first thought was I couldn't wait to see him. Overall it is an experience/hurdle we have been through together and I do believe it has brought us even closer.
Unread 01-03-2012, 10:34 PM
Re: undecided about having my sweetie at hospital

My husband and I planned planned on him being there before and immediately after. He was going to go home in the evening to take care of our kids. I was so loopy and emotional that I had him stay the night with me. It was nice just knowing that I wasn't alone. Good luck!
Unread 01-04-2012, 05:33 AM
Re: undecided about having my sweetie at hospital

I think your all so lucky to have the choice , I would love my boyfriend with me before and after but rules are rules but it makes me so sad and worried sick.
personally when I'll be waiting to go down for my op I wish my fella was with me take my mind off it abit but because he can't be there I'll be a bag of nerves.

Im really scared to go through this alone

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