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Oh but you had should be....... :( Oh but you had should be....... :(

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Unread 01-04-2012, 05:18 PM
Re: Oh but you had should be....... :(

Thank you all for the excellent advice. I'm going back to work next week and I already know everyone is going to have some kind of comment. *sigh*
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Unread 01-04-2012, 05:34 PM
Re: Oh but you had should be....... :(

I, too, thank you for all of the advice!!! I just never thought I would have had to put my guard up. They just don't know until they're in your "house shoes"!
Unread 01-04-2012, 06:48 PM
Re: Oh but you had should be....... :(

It's so hard to deal with others' opinions and the "shoulds." You "should" feel like this and you "should" be able to do this by now. Sound familiar?

First, as you've no doubt read here at Hyster Sisters, there's no set timetable for healing. We're all different. Some of us feel like we could get back to "normal" at 2 weeks (even though we still shouldn't) and others are like me and take 6 weeks off work and feel like they need 8 weeks.

I was a slower healer, too. What I started saying to folks who offered advice was something like this, "You know, I'm following my doctor's orders to the letter and he/she says I'm right on track for healing. Say, how about this weather we're having?" If they ask more probing questions, say, "You know, I'm following my doctor's orders to the letter and he/she says I'm right on track for healing. Say, how about this weather we're having?" After the third or fourth time you repeat it, the well-meaning folks will figure out that you're not going to discuss your medical history with them.

It's really none of their business. You feel how you feel, and that's really the end of it.

All my best wishes for good healing.
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Unread 01-04-2012, 07:42 PM
Re: Oh but you had should be....... :(

My doctor told me at least 3 times at both pre and post op appts that by the time I go back to work (which was yesterday, day 12, with his approval) I will have NO pain at all and will be just dealing with fatigue. Well you can imagine my concern when I had generalized soreness and twinges all day until about 3:00 when everything went downhill and and I also felt pulling at a couple of my incisions and bladder irritation again. I felt worse yesterday than I have in over a week. Took more Advil than I thought I would have to at this point. So I left a message with this info at his office and asked him to leave me a message letting me know if this is normal or if it sounds like I tweaked something. He called me today and told me it sounds like the normal healing process and to call back if I don't feel better or if it gets worse. Fortunately when I woke up this morning I was feeling a lot better and today at work I had a lot less discomfort so I wasn't really worried about it anymore by that point.

But for pete's sake, he needs to stop telling women that they are going to be pain free after 10 days! He also sent me home with post op instructions that said I would be cleared for sex after 2 weeks. His GYN partner, who is female told me "no way, I tell all my patients to wait 4-6 weeks". I don't mean to bash him, he is awesome in every other way and an excellent surgeon, but it's strange that even he doesn't understand our healing process!
Unread 01-04-2012, 08:00 PM
Re: Oh but you had should be....... :(

I agree! My doctor also made it sound like "no problem," 2 weeks and iI will be good to go. He said that someone in his office was back in 10 days. If I needed longer just to let him know, but he didn't think I would.

I feel pretty good, but tried to go back 2 weeks post up, and worked 2 short days and feel like I did around day 4. Taking the rest of the week off. Luckily my boss is great.

I think 3 weeks is the shortest goal they should give.
Unread 01-04-2012, 08:25 PM
Re: Oh but you had should be....... :(

It's still major surgery, the incision part is the easy part for us all... the inside work is the real deal. I had 2 co workers who told my BOSS in front of me that they had hyst.. and it was no big deal so I would be fine to come back in 2 weeks. Like an idiot.. I was back in 2 weeks even though i felt AWFUL! I'm better now (its been 4 weeks today since surgery) but I still get pains during the day if they have me running all over. Now one of them is having gallbladder surgery. Part of me cannot WAIT to rub it in and say something to her when she comes back. Oh they upset me so badly. Listen to your body and not anyone else. I'm lucky I didn't hurt myself by doing too much too soon just because of stupid people.
Unread 01-04-2012, 08:37 PM
Re: Oh but you had should be....... :(

Women that go back too early are risking further complications down the road. I am taking the full six weeks even though I'm using all my sick days and FMLA. When I go back, I will take it easy. (I'm a teacher too.)
Unread 01-04-2012, 08:56 PM
Re: Oh but you had should be....... :(

I had an abdominal hysterectomy...they cut me open and stitched me back insision is fully closed and pretty much healed (and was pretty much numb anyways) its the insides that hurt, swell, and are traumatized. No matter what method they used to take our parts out we all had major surgery on the inside and we all need time to heal!
Unread 01-04-2012, 09:34 PM
Re: Oh but you had should be....... :(

I have to laugh at some of the post-surgery expectations. I had a TLH and if it was based on incisions alone...I'd be good to go! I only have one that is truly visable. My doctor might want to consider plastic surgery in her spare time. As for the inside...I had stage IV endometriosis, no one expected that and a bowel surgeon was called in to assist. Because of all of the endo work, I have a big inflammation going pretty much feels like I was violently kicked in my lower abdomen. Sitting is not my happy position, nor my friend. At 3 weeks my doctor feared I had a bowel perforation and I had a CT scan, which showed, of course inflammation, and that a cyst had developed in my right (only) ovary, which is causing pain in my hips/back. This doesn't include the fatigue, night sweats, crybaby stuff... I just don't see how anyone can have any set expectations when it comes to surgery, as everyone has a different experience.
Unread 01-04-2012, 11:03 PM
Re: Oh but you had should be....... :(

I have been struggling the same way, thankful you posted this.

I'm thinking I will be honest: I'm a super slow healer, and queen of complications. I can say 100% I know understand all the reading I did on here of woman saying good day, then two not so good days-that is SO TRUE!

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