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Cold feet or changing mind? Help! Cold feet or changing mind? Help!

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Unread 01-06-2012, 06:16 AM
Cold feet or changing mind? Help!

I am scheduled to have the DaVinci hysterectomy in February. I am not sure if all these emotions are due to cold feet or that I really am changing my mind. I think I am getting too much information that I am overloaded. I hope I don't get too personal. Here goes.. Why do you ladies need one? Do you plan on keeping your ovaries and/or cervix. If you do keep your ovaries, do your hormones go all crazy? Do they regulate them selves, or do you need hormone replacement? If they take your cervix, is it true it shortens your vaginal canal? No cervix will mean less support for the pelvic floor? I hear that sex is different & your libido goes way down. Possibly unable to orgasm. TMI, sorry! But all these crazy websites message boards are filled with horror stories of these women who are miserable and feel mutilated. That your risk of heart disease go way up with out your uterus. I am not so worried about the recovery. I can rationalize that weeks of pain is nothing compared to the 15+ years ahead of me of having my period. I think I am to the point talking myself out of it. Thinking that a week of hell is nothing compared to all the possible side effects, loss of a fulfilling sex life, etc. I am not sure if I am wavering because I am no pain right now. Not so in my face. Sugar coating it? My dr talked about all the options. BC, IUD & ablation. I absolutely hate BC!! I have been on so many different kinds since 18. I just know I can't tolerate them. IUD, according to my dr, would not be a guarantee that I would have less pain but less of a heavy flow. Ablation could be an option. Dr concern was that since I am only 37 I probably would need to do it again. Also, no guarantee that it would work. I have 4 kids & my husband has had a vasectomy. We have already made the decision to not have more kids. My dr said then, if I was done with kids, want a for sure way to stop my periods that a hysterectomy would be a good option for me. The possibility of no periods, no pain, no having to wear a tampon & pad at the same time because of the heavy flow, was so amazing that after talking with my husband I agreed to have one. Now I am not so sure. Looking at these other women's stories make me feel that what I am dealing with is nothing. As far as I know, I don't have cancer, fibroids or endometriois (SP?). Of course, I could, and that would explain my hell periods. Oh my! My head spins. Again, sorry if this was too personal. I have no one in my circle of friends to talk this over with that went through a hysterectomy. The DiVinci hysterectomy sounds like out of all of the ways, it is the way to go. So there it is. Any advice? Comments?
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Unread 01-06-2012, 07:37 AM
Re: Cold feet or changing mind? Help!

Wow , yes you are thinking a lot! I am having my hysterectomy the 12th. I am having it Di Vinci style. I am only able to possibly keep one overi due to a large chocolate cyst on the other one. I also have endometriosis. I am in lots of pain every month for a week, I bleed very heavy! That's my reason. Everyone is different, every one recovers differently. I was told I should not need hormone replacement because of the one overi. The Di Vinci is the best way to recover faster. Since you don't have all the other problems it sounds like your surgery will be cut and dry. Some people have better sex, some have the same and some say it's worse. But again it depends on how your situation is. I would encourage you to talk to the surgeon about what your feeling and about all your questions. This site has a lot of answers, just look through the forums. But you have to decide if your tired enough of losing a week every month from your children and your life. You could try the other things the dr offered, like the ablation, and if it does not work, have the hysterectomy. Keep comming here and reading, but don't drive yourself crazy. Some people who are in pain aree going to keep posting because they are in pain or upset. And they are still looking for answers. But those who have this and are doing well eventually stop coming here because they are healed and ready to move on with the rest of their new found freedom. So you will read a lot of scarey things, but there is no way to say what will happen in everyone's situation. You need to ask your self, do I trust my drs? Am I ready to heal from this? Do I trust God? Will I be able to be down for a few weeks? Good luck, and I will pray for you!
Unread 01-06-2012, 08:18 AM
Re: Cold feet or changing mind? Help!

I had a da Vinci with everything out 10/20. It is the number one best thing I've done for my health even over losing 130lbs. I had very heavy bleeding, 18 day periods, pain, anemia and all sorts of hormonal issues. After much research and consulting with my surgeon, we decided on removal of everything and that I would go in HRT. I'm 46yo and pre hyster had a great sex life. I was concerned about removing my cervix and ovaries and how this would affect my sex life. I am happy to report that my sex drive is still high, actually higher. Sex is great and orgasms are strong and easier to obtain. I've lost almost 25lbs-my uterus weighed almost 12 lbs. I am no longer on iron for anemia, pain is gone, no hot flashes/night sweats. I have energy I didn't know was there. I feel fantastic!!! My recovery had ups and downs; mostly ups. I did not realize how poorly I felt for over 30 years. Given the opportunity, I would do this again in a heartbeat. My guess is that you are questioning the surgery now due to the fear that we all had pre op. This is 100% normal. Keep researching and coming here for support and you'll make the right choice for you. Good luck!
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Unread 01-06-2012, 08:36 AM
Re: Cold feet or changing mind? Help!

Hi there! I am having the Da Vinci surgery on the 26th of this month. They are taking out everything (even cervix) except keeping my ovaries (so I have my hormones still). I am 32 years old. Sometimes since I have joined I have wondered if this is the right thing for me because I do not have anything as extreme as some of the ladies on here. Here is my story. I originally was planning on having an ablation done due to when I was on BC having break through bleeding and then having somewhat heavy periods. I was also going to have permanent BC put in place, Essure and then a bladder sling since every time I cough, sneeze, do heavy exercises, I leak. When I went to see the surgeon my OB/GYN referred me to after talking with him about other issues I have like with having the ablation being only 32 I would more than likely end up having to have another one later in life if not having to have a hysterectomy later. I have problems with pain during sex in different positions at different times of the month. Also I have endometriosis, not a severe case, but nonetheless I have it. He suggested considering a hysterectomy because it would take care of all of those problems whereas the other stuff I was going to have done would only take care of some of them. So for me after considering that I am going to have the hysterectomy because it seems like the best option to me since it takes care of all of my problems. Sorry this is so long. I wish you luck in your decision.
Unread 01-06-2012, 08:54 AM
Re: Cold feet or changing mind? Help!

Oh wow, you have yourself in a tizzy...Information overload! Slow down, take a deep breath.

It doesn't sound like it's urgent to make a decision today (I'm not minimizing your discomfort in any way) Talk more to your Doctor, ask all the questions you need until you feel they are answered to satisfy you.

When you go to the internet for advice, most people who are posting are there because they have problems, The ones who are doing fantastic don't spend time posting, they are enjoying life. So it is quite scary when all you read are the bad experiences.

A hysterectomy, no matter which type of surgery you choose is a major operation. I would start with the least invasive procedure possible and do a hysterectomy as your last option. (just my opinion)

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

I didn't have a choice, I had cervical cancer. I was able to keep my ovaries and experience pms just the same as before my surgery. I'm 49, have not gone into menopause yet, so happy about that.
Unread 01-06-2012, 09:56 AM
Re: Cold feet or changing mind? Help!

Good for you for trying to be informed about your body. One thing I would suggest is only stick with this site. I had my Hyst on Dec 12th. And this site was the best. There are too many scary site out there. This one gave me the most information and support. The waiting for your surgery is the roughest part and you'll do so much thinking about it, it will drive you crazy. It did me! A Hyst is one of the most personal surgery with way too many choices. I finally let my Doc decide what to take when she was in there. I really trusted her and had a great relationship with her. Be sure to talk to your Doc with questions or concerns. Recovery was good and I'm almost 4 weeks post opt and feeling like myself again. I'm glad I went with the idea of "if it's healthy tissue-keep it." I was able to keep my cervix and ovaries. Some women don't get that choice but if you do, I highly recommend talking to your Doc about it. I am so glad I don't have to deal with my monster periods anymore. They were affecting my life. But even with that terrible monthly monster I too gave second thoughts to have my surgery. I understand that anxiety is totally normal. But I'm so glad I did it!!!! Just keep busy and continue to ask questions here. We are/were all in the same boat. I wrote about my surgery if you want to read it. It's titled "My story!! And it's a good one!!!". You can find it under my name. Hugs to you!
Unread 01-06-2012, 10:14 AM
Re: Cold feet or changing mind? Help!

Oh My! Ditto MsKati. All of it.


If you are really so undecided, then maybe it isn't time for you. I put up with a lot of pain, irregular and long periods, extreme heavy bleeding, anemia and loss of quality of life for a lot of years before I finally scheduled my hyster. When I did, it was a huge relief and I was actually looking forward to it.

I'm not sure I would recommend this path for anyone since I did limit myself and miss out on a lot as a result, but there was no doubt in my mind, when I did finally schedule, that it was the right decision.

Think of your life now and then imagine it problem free after a successful surgery.

Here is a success story for you. I'm 7 weeks out from abdominal surgery (TAH) and feel great! Better than I did before surgery. I still tire easily and crave the occasional nap , but that will pass. I followed all my doctor's post-op instructions to the letter, erred on the side of caution and have had no complications at all.

Best Wishes!
Unread 01-06-2012, 10:47 AM
Re: Cold feet or changing mind? Help!

I feel for you. I am scheduled to have my hysterectomy on 1/30/12. I'm so thankful I found this site, because, like you, I've seen other sites that are nothing but horror stories.

Like someone else said, maybe it isn't the right time for you, but I see you are considering Endometrial Ablation. I feel I have a responsibility to tell you, I am having a hysterectomy because I had that procedure.

I had the Ablation because of heavy periods, lasting well over a week, I'd get a day or two break and then I'd start bleeding and spotting all over again. They say with the Ablation your periods MAY stop all together, but other than then lasting only 5 days instead of more than a week, I still bled a decent amount, but DID get away from having to wear both a tampon and a pad. Then a few months ago I started to get severe cramps around the 2nd or 3rd day of my period. I mean, debilitating, crippling, prescription pain pills don't even touch it, A-G-O-N-Y. Turns out I developed scar tissue from the ablation, and the scar tissue was trapping in the blood. The doctor said once it got reabsorbed into my body, the pains would go away. I've been living like that for 8 months. Missing at least 2 days from work each month, and not being able to be a part of my family during that time.

I'm sorry, but I felt you needed to know this is a REAL possible complication. It is officially called PATS (Post Ablation tubaligation Syndrome) Although, it affects women that have NOT have tubal also.

For me, I'm scared to have the hysterectomy done because I worry about the AFTER affects, but when I told my dr I'm actually EXCITED at the same time, she said I'm definetely doing the right thing then.

DO take all your options into consideration - talk it over with your dr and I'm sure you'll make the right choice.

Best of luck to you!
Unread 01-06-2012, 12:26 PM
Re: Cold feet or changing mind? Help!

i am 34 i am scheduled to have a hyster on the 20th of this month. i have had horrible heavy irregular periods for along time it got a little better after i had kids but after my 5th child things got really bad...the cramps confine me to the bed and being a single mom i cant stay in the bed....over the counter drugs for pain are like candy and the prescription drugs make to sleepy so i have to suffer. most recent issue is a growth on my cervix it appeared to b a polyp but was hard to remove in the office i decided to have a ablation the dr was able to remove the growth then and biopsy it it came back fine this all worked well for a few months but then i started having lots of pain again and severe bleeding w sex when i went back to the dr the growth was back again and this time it was bigger and deeply inbedded into my cervix. so with that and the heavy periods and heavy cramps i have decided along w my dr that hyster was the way to go . i had my tubes tied after my last child so im not concerned about not being able to have any more kids but i am concerned about my sex life and how a hyster will affect it. i guess its different for everyone and i have to just pray for the best outcome.
Unread 01-06-2012, 01:16 PM
Re: Cold feet or changing mind? Help!

Most of the people come on this internet site when they need help and support, to complain about their problems and see what others did in a similar case. Usually, happy women don't come back as often to write about how happy they are. That is why you see more negative posts. We all react differently to this surgery. From what I read here, some of us had problems after, some of us feel like re-born. Nobody can decide for you except yourself. In my opinion, put down on a list your own pros and cons, draw the line and get the conclusion. I am more than 10 years older than you and I don't regret my surgery at all. My decision making "list": I am healthy enough, I am a fast healer, I keep ovaries because they are healthy and they seem to balance the hormones after surgery so you don't get the menopausal reactions, I take out the cervix (keeping the cervix seems to be risky - cancer can develop there more than everywhere), I was not afraid of any internal collapse (your doctor should be able to tell you if your internal muscle texture is strong enough or not), I didn't go laparoscopic or daVinci because they limit surgeons' visibility and give the worse after surgery reactions (like bleeding and infections), I wanted a bikini incision (got it) and the idea of not having a painful heavy period every month was...the cherry on the cake...My only worry was my intimate love life. This is something you cannot anticipate as much as you can on the other points above because it depends on many factors: your state of mind, your DH's attitude, your surgeon's dexterity, and so on... In my case, I got a new life, new beginnings that I didn't hope for..everything is much better than before and I am still in my recovery...This is my experience and these are my comments. No sugar coating here at all. I hope it helps...

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