TAH No Children by Choice, Now Its Final!!! - Page 2 | HysterSisters
HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support and Information
Advertising Info HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support Tutorial

Go Back   Hysterectomy HysterSisters > Hysterectomy Support Posts > Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)


HysterSisters.com is a massive online community with over 475,000 members and over 5 million posts.

Our community is filled with women who have been through the Hysterectomy experience providing both advice and support from our active members and moderators.

HysterSisters.com is located at 111 Peter St, Toronto, Canada, M5V2H1 and is part of the VerticalScope network of websites.

With free registration, you can ask and answer questions in our HYSTERECTOMY forum community, get our FREE BOOKLET, access Hysterectomy Checkpoints and more.

You are not alone. The HysterSisters are here for you. Join us today!
join HysterSisters for hysterectomy resources and support
Reply

No Children by Choice, Now Its Final!!! No Children by Choice, Now Its Final!!!

Thread Tools
  #11  
Unread 01-09-2012, 09:28 AM
Re: No Children by Choice, Now Its Final!!!

I agree once you have the quality of life it would be a massive change to have had a child. I've dogs & they don't answer back!!!
As I keep telling my sister it is far harder to stay at home looking after children than to go to work.
Enjoy life we only have one go at it
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #12  
Unread 01-09-2012, 10:00 AM
Re: No Children by Choice, Now Its Final!!!

atl2s3xi3, I'm 34 and also had TAH 12/29. You're not alone. Husband and I have been together 15 years, and from the get go neither of us have felt the desire to have children. For a moment, before the surgery, when reality set in, I had a different feeling too. But it was more about losing the ability to choose, than the physical ability. The moment has passed, and I am ready to move onto the next phase in life. I too enjoy my lifestyle the way it is. I am blessed to have 2 nephews and 2 nieces, and lots of friends with young children that I can help and watch grow, lending a positive unique influence to their lives.

Phoenix 2012, a profound statement, as if you pulled the words from my thoughts.

Here's to new beginnings
  #13  
Unread 01-09-2012, 10:08 AM
Re: No Children by Choice, Now Its Final!!!

Well, I'm so glad I'm not alone in those feelings. I agree with everyone I haven't changed my mind; just a little sad that the option is gone. However, I plan to enjoy my life, get my body back, travel and just enjoy living without the pressures or responsibility of children.
I watch friends, associates and co-workers struggle everyday. Regular jobs don't cater to parents and kids. Childcare is expensive and everything a child needs is expensive. Shoot, I'm expensive and the things I want in life just doesn't include kids. I have two dogs (yorkies) and love them as if they were my children and their more than enough. My mom has always told me that "blessed is the she that never bares", she says its in the bible. So we're all blessed!!
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #14  
Unread 01-09-2012, 10:09 AM
Re: No Children by Choice, Now Its Final!!!

I think you ladies are right-it's about loosing just the choice you had even though you didn't want too.

I have kids, but I can tell you that I have always felt so much respect for anyone who does not want to have kids and does not-that takes stregnth, as anyone (God willing) can get pregnant, but they wont necesarrily be a good parent. I think it is a stronger woman who doesn't want and doesn't have children, so I admire you all.
  #15  
Unread 01-09-2012, 10:12 AM
No Children by Choice, Now Its Final!!!

  Quote:
Originally Posted by kathy1970 View Post
I think you ladies are right-it's about loosing just the choice you had even though you didn't want too.

I have kids, but I can tell you that I have always felt so much respect for anyone who does not want to have kids and does not-that takes stregnth, as anyone (God willing) can get pregnant, but they wont necesarrily be a good parent. I think it is a stronger woman who doesn't want and doesn't have children, so I admire you all.
Thanks. Better not to have children than to have them and not be the best parent.
  #16  
Unread 01-09-2012, 10:53 AM
Re: No Children by Choice, Now Its Final!!!

You are not alone! I am 42, and never planned on having children. It made facing my cancer and surgery much easier, but now that the surgery is over, I do find myself feeling the finality of it, and it's a bit odd. I agree with our sister here who said we do not like to have our options taken away, even if we never plan on exercising them. I think surgery forces us to face our limitations and mortality in a new way? You've got good company here.
  #17  
Unread 01-09-2012, 11:23 AM
Re: No Children by Choice, Now Its Final!!!

I'm 41 and have been married for 23 years. We really never felt the "need" to have children. Some looked at us as selfish, others admired us for not being tied down, emotionally and financially with children like they were.

Early on, we just weren't financially able to support children and barley able to support ourselves. As the years passed, we settled into a boring lifestyle that would be turned upside down if we had children but we new if it happened, we would manage though. I still admired our friends that have that love there for their children & now, grandchildren.

I am also feeling a slight loss. My "option" is now gone. I guess in the back of my mind, I've felt like if it was what god wanted, he'd given us a child. It apparently wasn't meant to be.

I'm ok with this but I'm wondering if my husband is. His friends are now grandparents and his brother adopted a baby and is now 5 and he sees the love in his brothers eyes & I know it gets to him sometimes. We know now, we are just too old to have children. My husband will be 50 next month.
  #18  
Unread 01-09-2012, 12:10 PM
Re: No Children by Choice, Now Its Final!!!

I agree it's definitely the "reality" that the option is no longer available to us.
I'm sure it's the old hormones that make us wonder sometimes "what if" .
I have moments when I do wish I had had children, then when I listen to some mothers with grown up children and the hassles & stress involved I am glad I haven't any and then I borrow my nephew for a few hours.
Hopefully the decisions we made were the right ones & we can recover & enjoy our lives as much as we can
  #19  
Unread 01-09-2012, 01:21 PM
Re: No Children by Choice, Now Its Final!!!

I'm 44 and have never wanted to be a mother, I'm an aunt and that is a job which I adore and excel at and for it is enough.
We are not all here to be the same and although society still puts a little pressure on women to be a mother there is nothing wrong with not wanting to be.
I'm not sorry the door has been closed but at the time of my op did have some OMG that's it moments.

So you are not alone, no matter what life choice we make we will all always wonder what is on the other side.
  #20  
Unread 01-09-2012, 01:30 PM
Re: No Children by Choice, Now Its Final!!!

I think being an Aunt we have best of both worlds.
I love looking after my nephew. Love going to see all kids movies!
You are so right that society does want women to settle down & have the "2.2" children
I have scruffy toy poodles ( not posy ones with fancy tails etc.,) they keep me sane & give me lots of comfort & love & get me out when I really can't be bothered to do so.
Reply

booklet
Our Free Booklet
What 350,000 Women Know About Hysterectomy: Information, helpful hints as you prepare and recover from hysterectomy.
Answers to your questions
Register




Thread Tools

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
From This Forum From Other Forums
14 Replies, Last Reply 04-07-2010, Started By luvee24
4 Replies, Last Reply 02-23-2008, Started By middleone
13 Replies, Last Reply 01-24-2008, Started By akabyrd
2 Replies, Last Reply 12-15-2007, Started By angieann1
7 Replies, Last Reply 10-05-2006, Started By falldc
1 Reply, Last Reply 03-23-2005, Started By Thebigv
1 Reply, Last Reply 06-11-2004, Started By Sassy Gal
5 Replies, Last Reply 12-12-2003, Started By JadieBea
9 Replies, Last Reply 06-24-2001, Started By kimmielou
6 Replies, Last Reply 04-04-2001, Started By Renee_C
8 Replies, Aching Hearts
2 Replies, No Uterus - No Ovaries - No Hormones - Managing Menopause
5 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)
15 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)
16 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)
40 Replies, Aching Hearts
8 Replies, No Uterus - No Ovaries - No Hormones - Managing Menopause
9 Replies, No Uterus - No Ovaries - No Hormones - Managing Menopause
1 Reply, No Uterus - No Ovaries - Yes HRT - Surgical Menopause
4 Replies, Aching Hearts



Advertisement

Hysterectomy News

June 14,2021

CURRENT NEWS

HysterSisters Takes On Partner To Manage Continued Growth And Longevity
I have news that is wonderful and exciting! This week’s migration wasn’t a typical migration - from one set ... News Archive

TODAY'S EVENTS

Calendar - Hysterectomies - Birthdays


Request Information


I am a HysterSister

HYSTERECTOMY STORIES

Featured Story - All Stories - Share Yours

FOLLOW US


Your Hysterectomy Date


CUSTOMIZE Your Browsing  


$vbulletin->featuredvideos is not an array!
Advertisement


Advertisement