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12-Days Post-op & Feeling Empty 12-Days Post-op & Feeling Empty

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  #1  
Unread 01-09-2012, 01:43 AM
12-Days Post-op & Feeling Empty

I am 12 days post-op. Physically, I feel much better than when I first got home. I'm eating better, walking a little more each day, and no longer require pain meds!

After finding out that I had an inseparable cyst on my uterus, I underwent a total hysterectomy (December 27th). The decision to have surgery was difficult for me. You see, I don't have children. And, while I'm well past 40 - and have had reproductive problems for years - I guess I've always held out hope that I would get pregnant.

I have 9 nieces and nephews, and 8 great-nieces and nephews - all of whom I love and who love me! I have spent years trying to satisfy myself with the fact that I am a good aunt/great-aunt. But I can't help feeling cheated! I wanted to be a mother! But there is no chance of that now!

I've been keeping a journal (to keep track of my journey and my emotional health), and try to write in it daily - even if I just write how I'm feeling. I just hope that by keeping my journal - and now having found my HysterSisters - that I will someday be able to get rid of this feeling of "emptiness."
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  #2  
Unread 01-09-2012, 06:56 AM
Re: 12-Days Post-op & Feeling Empty

I started seeing a therapist shortly after my hyster, and she told me that any woman needs to treat having a hyster as a loss, a death of sorts. A loss of a dream, a loss of any children you may have had, a loss of what you expected. It is very normal to feel cheated, and empty. Don't beat yourself up for feeling this way. It may never pass, but hopefully in time you will be able to accept it.

Hang in there sweetheart. I'm sorry that it has been such a difficult journey for you. Hold tight to the ones you love, and celebrate the life that you have to live.
  #3  
Unread 01-09-2012, 09:30 AM
Re: 12-Days Post-op & Feeling Empty

jessiemae84078:

Thank you for your reply. I can't tell you how comforting it was that you passed on the advice you received from your therapist. It made me realize that I am not alone in this. I have been contemplating seeing a therapist as well, and will start looking for one right away.

Before surgery, I tried expressing these feelings to my mother, my sister, and even my girlfriends - all of whom have children. And, while I believe they try, they don't really understand. Perhaps talking to someone who can be "objective," will help me at least feel better about it. I think you're right - the feeling of emptiness may never go away, but I would like to find a way to put it in to perspective so that it doesn't feel like I'm walking around with a cloud over my head.

I hope that, as you did, I will one day be able to pass on advice to another of our Hyster Sisters.
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