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I'm horrible and mean :( I'm horrible and mean :(

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  #1  
Unread 01-09-2012, 06:50 PM
I'm horrible and mean :(

So I had my surgery on 11/11/11 (DvH BSO) and just last week went on 2.5mg of biest (compounded bio-identical sublingual). Prior to last Friday I had been doing "ok-ish" mentally but the hot flashes were kicking my butt! I was in peri-menopause prior to the surgery and had been having night sweats for a little over a year so I was fairly used to those. With that being said, I know that this is super early to be whining and complaining but honestly I can hardly stand myself after just a few days on this stuff.

On the one hand, my hot flashes are GONE, I mean gone--Hurray!! Night sweats- GONE--hurray!! That being said, I have NEVER been so quick to anger in my life. Never. I am mean, nasty and vile and I will admit it one second...then the next second if someone suggests that perhaps I am being a little snappy I become unglued.

Oh, and did I mention sad and weepy--worse than before I took any hormones.

*sigh*

To top it off, I quit smoking 7 months ago and all I keep thinking is "oh my god a cigarette would help me SO much right now" which I know short term it probably would but ugh ugh ugh, I really don't want to start smoking again.

I'm hoping just dumping this out in the forum will help me feel a little better. I just want to feel like "me" and not like some strange alien psycho beast that has taken over my body
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  #2  
Unread 01-09-2012, 09:53 PM
Re: I'm horrible and mean :(

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but if you've only been on your HRT one week it hasn't been long enough to know whether or not it's going to work for you in the long run. The mere fact that your hormone levels changed, even if it's for the better, is going to cause hormonal chaos in your body for a while.

In addition, quitting smoking is known to cause people to become crabby for a while. Not that quitting isn't a great idea - it definitely IS, and congratulations on that - just that there may not be a lot you can do right now to avoid this bad case of mood swings.

Try to in there and see how the HRT does over several weeks, if you can. Meanwhile mention the emotional swings to your DR, especially if they don't lessen with time. Keeping a journal of your symptoms will help in discussing how you're doing with your DR at your next appointment.

s,
-Linda
  #3  
Unread 01-10-2012, 07:49 AM
Re: I'm horrible and mean :(

Surferbabe-as for it being what I want to hear or not...well I knew better than to hope someone was going to say, "It's going to be ok tomorrow" I appreciate you reading it and taking the time to respond!

Thank you for the suggestion of starting a journal-I will do that today.

I was done being crabby over the quitting smoking by a couple of months by the time I had the surgery so I don't think my crabbiness is smoking/nicotine related. I think it's more that it's been a coping "medicine" of mine for years and it always made things "better" before so maybe it will make them better now (I know this is not the case, it's just how I currently feel). This too shall pass.

Thank you again!
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  #4  
Unread 01-10-2012, 12:21 PM
Re: I'm horrible and mean :(

Hi Scarded-ee-cat. Sorry you're feeling so bad. I just wanted to pop in and say that it's great that you were able to quit smoking! After I'd been smoke free for almost 6 years I thought I'd die without a cigarette in an extremely stressful time in my life. It lead to 6 years more of smoking before I quit again. And no, it didn't change the way I coped with my stress. Stupid!! I did end up quitting again and have been smoke free almost 10 years. It is REALLY stressful trying to get these hormones right! Just wanted to give you an "attagirl"!
  #5  
Unread 01-10-2012, 02:02 PM
Re: I'm horrible and mean :(

Hi E2Me2,
Thanks for the attagirl! Back at you too, WOW, that's fantastic that you've been smoke free for 10 years!!!

Deep breathing has been helping for me today. That and the hormone induced anger doesn't seem so bad today....I am enjoying today for today because tomorrow could easily be like yesterday hahaha!
  #6  
Unread 01-10-2012, 06:02 PM
Re: I'm horrible and mean :(

Deep breathing, walking, and drinking lots of water are what got me through! It's no small feat to stay smoke free, but it does get easier as time goes on. The one thing I remember reading that really stood out for me was that when the cravings come, ride them out and they will pass until the next one and they will get further and further apart. Silly, but I would sometimes feel like the only way to end a craving was to smoke when actually I only had to ride it out (a matter of minutes)! Who knew??
  #7  
Unread 01-10-2012, 07:56 PM
Re: I'm horrible and mean :(

Thanks, all those things do work and honestly I don't crave a cigarette that much at all and when I do the cravings are easy to ignore because they do pass quickly like you said.
I just know that cigarettes make me feel more like "me", which as a former smoker I think you know what I mean.
  #8  
Unread 01-11-2012, 11:59 AM
Re: I'm horrible and mean :(

It sounds to me like you need some bio-identical progesterone to go along with your bi-est. This balances out the estrogen. I couldn't survive without my progesterone.
  #9  
Unread 01-11-2012, 04:13 PM
Re: I'm horrible and mean :(

  Quote:
Originally Posted by FreakyDeaky View Post
It sounds to me like you need some bio-identical progesterone to go along with your bi-est. This balances out the estrogen. I couldn't survive without my progesterone.
As this member did not keep her ovaries her situation may be different. And she is early on post op just entering surgical menopause. When one's ovaries are removed, one may or may not need progesterone. It is really too soon to tell.

  #10  
Unread 01-11-2012, 06:23 PM
Re: I'm horrible and mean :(

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim M View Post
As this member did not keep her ovaries her situation may be different. And she is early on post op just entering surgical menopause. When one's ovaries are removed, one may or may not need progesterone. It is really too soon to tell.

Kim and FreakyDeaky thank you so much for your input. Yesterday and today were slightly better than Monday--I guess I will just have to take each day as it comes and go from there.
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