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Very personal ? re orgasms Very personal ? re orgasms

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  #21  
Unread 01-14-2012, 10:23 AM
Re: Very personal ? re orgasms

  Quote:
Originally Posted by kathy1970 View Post
just had to share this: husband came home from work last night: said the guy he worked with's wife had a hysterectomy too (OH BOY! immediately popped into my head-unsolicited advice coming my way!)

So he goes on to say yeah, the Dr. told them to have sex to make sure they still could (oh GREAT! I'm thinking-sex is the LAST thing i've wanted in forever!) and so I jumped right in and said "well, she must of kept her cervix, because if they took it she wouldn't be having sex asap!" Oh, I have no idea he says (though he spec said she had exact same thing I had-I guess men hear the word hysterectomy and think it's all cookie cutter the same)

So anyway, they had sex, it went ok, but then the guy told my husband "but I've never had sex again" and it's been like 6-12 months.

I did not give him the assurance that he was probably hoping for by saying oh honey, we will have even more/better sex when I am released, or anything like that. I instead, I just informed him on how I've read about so many woman having it too soon and it ripping their cuff and walked away-LOL.
If the first time is traumatic, then I can only imagine how hard it would be to set yourself up for a second time. I've heard women say the same kinds of things about their first time "ever" - if it was too soon, many didn't even try again for years. Take care of yourself, Kathy. If you are not mentally and emotionally prepared for sex, then you can be pretty sure that you aren't physically ready yet, either. You will know, if and when the time is right, and no one can make that decision for you, even your hubby!
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  #22  
Unread 01-14-2012, 11:53 AM
Re: Very personal ? re orgasms

I had multiple fibroids, polyps, and cysts. I named the three biggest Flopsie, Mopsie, and Bob. On ultra sound, my uterus looked some kind of Mickey Mouse hat. With them gone, I no longer have a distended belly which makes me feel sexier which leads to well, ya know. Yeah!!!!!
  #23  
Unread 01-14-2012, 12:02 PM
Re: Very personal ? re orgasms

Here is the thing: I just feel so funky still internally, I cannot imagine having sex-but I am only 4 weeks. reading about all the ripped/torn cuffs scares me to death-sex hurt before surgery like I am sure many of you also.

My mom had sex once if at all after hers-my poor dad has not only not had sex in over 25 years, but she is also a moody witch to him, and I do not want to be like her in either of those ways.
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  #24  
Unread 01-14-2012, 12:32 PM
Re: Very personal ? re orgasms

  Quote:
Originally Posted by kathy1970 View Post
Here is the thing: I just feel so funky still internally, I cannot imagine having sex-but I am only 4 weeks. reading about all the ripped/torn cuffs scares me to death-sex hurt before surgery like I am sure many of you also.

My mom had sex once if at all after hers-my poor dad has not only not had sex in over 25 years, but she is also a moody witch to him, and I do not want to be like her in either of those ways.
I felt better at 2 weeks than I did at 4 weeks. Now, at nearly 7, I am again feeling much more myself.

When I read about the ripped and torn cuffs and other such horror stories, I could not have been more turned off by the thought of intercourse. I can't imagine the embarassment and shame, as well as the pain, of having to return for a repair because of having sex too early. So, I am with you on how you are feeling.

If you don't want your relationship to mirror that of your parents, then it won't. Still, taking the time to heal is not a luxury - it's a necessity. You may find a whole new experience of yourself, once you are finally free from the pain. And, if you don't, you can still write your own story. You can, and should, be the one to decide what that will look like for you.

It's amazing how events like this can be an important point in our lives to evaluate who we are and what we want from the future. Good luck with the journey! Sounds like you've got good boundaries, so you are well equipped to ask and answer your questions for yourself!
  #25  
Unread 01-15-2012, 07:52 AM
Re: Very personal ? re orgasms

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharona19 View Post
I had multiple fibroids, polyps, and cysts. I named the three biggest Flopsie, Mopsie, and Bob. On ultra sound, my uterus looked some kind of Mickey Mouse hat. With them gone, I no longer have a distended belly which makes me feel sexier which leads to well, ya know. Yeah!!!!!
Hee hee! Flopsie, Mopsie, and BOB. Love it!

I wish I didn't have a distended belly. I get swelly belly still in my 5th week. I look fairly normal in the mornings but by nightfall...booooooop! It's baaaa-ck!
  #26  
Unread 01-15-2012, 08:05 AM
Re: Very personal ? re orgasms

Kind of ironic I found this post. I am not ashamed, but I am naive when it comes to sex and masturbation and lucid dreams. The latter is a new term for me. However, my husband says that I am having orgasmisms while I sleep. Strangely I don't remember anything. Sadly, he is frustrated with me. I am 5 days post-op and am feeling great! But already am feeling strong 'urges' on my bottom. Before surgery the 'dreams' always happened right before my period, since I won't be having any more of those, what do I do now? My husband doesnt prefer to talk about my 'dreams'... I am stuck!
  #27  
Unread 01-15-2012, 09:11 AM
Re: Very personal ? re orgasms

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Lioness24 View Post
Kind of ironic I found this post. I am not ashamed, but I am naive when it comes to sex and masturbation and lucid dreams. The latter is a new term for me. However, my husband says that I am having orgasmisms while I sleep. Strangely I don't remember anything. Sadly, he is frustrated with me. I am 5 days post-op and am feeling great! But already am feeling strong 'urges' on my bottom. Before surgery the 'dreams' always happened right before my period, since I won't be having any more of those, what do I do now? My husband doesnt prefer to talk about my 'dreams'... I am stuck!
If you kept your ovaries, you may still have the monthly ebb and flow of hormones, so even though you won't be menstruating, other things may still happen as they used to. However, even with ovaries, things may still be different.

Intimacy is more than just the physical acts in which we engage with our partners. Sometimes these events can be the trigger for changing things we've always taken for granted. Being creative can also be fun.
  #28  
Unread 01-15-2012, 12:12 PM
Re: Very personal ? re orgasms

I also had orgasmic dreams soon after surgery... and was afraid Id hurt myself. For me anyway, those dreams dont produce a regular orgasm, much less intense, but I was encouraged that maybe my fear of a passionless sex life would not be my reality. Shortly thereafter I tried masturbation, and was thrilled to know I was still "me".
I havent seen this mentioned in any other posts so far, but my husband and I have used this period of non penetration as a platform for more inventive sexual relations... and its been fun to make love in a way we just never bothered to before. These eight weeks arent something we've had to endure.. but an opportunity to grow in our intimacy.
  #29  
Unread 01-15-2012, 12:33 PM
Re: Very personal ? re orgasms

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Gardenangels View Post
I also had orgasmic dreams soon after surgery... and was afraid Id hurt myself. For me anyway, those dreams dont produce a regular orgasm, much less intense, but I was encouraged that maybe my fear of a passionless sex life would not be my reality. Shortly thereafter I tried masturbation, and was thrilled to know I was still "me".
I havent seen this mentioned in any other posts so far, but my husband and I have used this period of non penetration as a platform for more inventive sexual relations... and its been fun to make love in a way we just never bothered to before. These eight weeks arent something we've had to endure.. but an opportunity to grow in our intimacy.
That's exactly what my DH and I did. It's almost like we get a bit "lazy" when it comes to intercourse. Because it works, we stop with some of the other things that are also a lot of fun. My DH was glad when the 6 weeks was over, but never felt deprived, and neither did I.
  #30  
Unread 01-15-2012, 12:44 PM
Re: Very personal ? re orgasms

I totally agree! I posted earlier that this time was like a first time. We do get in a rut and this was a good time to remember why we got together with our partners in the first place. While it was difficult to relinquish control of everything while recovering, it was good for our partners/family/friends to walk a mile in our moccasins. This surgery has been life changing on so many levels-wow, I just teared up : ) thanks for listening ladies.....
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