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Do NOT buy all the doom and gloom Do NOT buy all the doom and gloom

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Unread 01-12-2012, 10:27 PM
Re: Do NOT buy all the doom and gloom

There is nothing to 'buy' here because no one is selling anything.

Women come here for information, advice and moral support. Those in the post-op forums are there primarily because they are experiencing problems they want help with. As pre-op sisters, if you are reading them, you are learning that there can be complications, but you should also be learning that there are usually solutions to those problems. For a minority, there are not. It's important to be aware of that as well.

No one should go into this surgery blind to the possibilities, but by the same token, don't let the fear of these possibilities paralyze you and cause more stress than necessary.

Another thing to note is that several post-operative complications are self inflicted by those who fail to get adequate rest and follow other post-op instructions.

Like mrslibrarylady said, many of us who had positive outcomes have posted on these forums, sharing our positive experiences. I have also written my story for the "Our Hysterectomy Stories" section.

I'm 8 weeks post-op and feel great! I'm looking forward to living my life pain free and without worrying if there is always a convenient bathroom handy while carrying a backpack full of super size pads.
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Unread 01-12-2012, 11:31 PM
Re: Do NOT buy all the doom and gloom

Balancedidjit-I have to admit that I'm a bit offended by your post; mainly because you are throwing stones at the post op ladies without even having had the surgery that you seem to view as a walk in the park. You state that you read much on this site, but you missed much too. Yes, many of us had hiccups and challenges in our recovery, but we took a proactive step and questioned each other as to our experiences and how we dealt with them. If you read further, you might have discovered that as the days and weeks went by, the post op ladies rallied through and began discussing how great they are feeling and how some are looking forward to vacations and pain free sex and something as simple as perfectly pristine panties. You might also have read that many of these ladies had multiple procedures to recover from. I wish you a smooth surgery and rapid recovery and perhaps you might take the time to write of your own experience so a new lady can benefit from your experience. Good luck to you tomorrow.
Unread 01-13-2012, 12:11 AM
Re: Do NOT buy all the doom and gloom

True, true!

I remember to pop in from time to time, this site kept me sane during recovery, every now and then I have to visit with "my girls"! :-)

Physically I am more capable than I was before surgery, I've made huge athletic progress in less than a year!

I've lost weight, no more sitting on the couch with a heating pad, I'm OUT THERE doing!

Life changing surgery for me.. I feel like a normal person now, with a normal life... no longer a prisoner to a bathroom carrying a diaper bag!
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Unread 01-13-2012, 05:15 AM
Re: Do NOT buy all the doom and gloom

The way I aproached it was to avoid looking at the post-op. forums while I was pre-op., because I was really terrified about the actual surgery, which was pretty invasive. I felt that if women who'd had less invasive surgeries were suffering problems, post-op. then surely I'd have it much worse... so I stayed clear.
Post-op., I was dealing with the reality of my own recovery - which wasn't as bad as I feared (and things are now very good indeed).
But - boy, did I appreciate the post-op. forum!!! It is invaluable. I have learned so much (and shared a lot), and found reassurances and explanations that helped me when I needed it, even if it was not me asking the question. It has put my own good fortune in perspective, because I've been spared some complications others have had to suffer.
Still, I have had my own minor worries, but the answers were in the post-op. forum and that saved me running to my doc. for answers that she might not have had, simply because she had never had a hysterectomy. Theory and knowledge is one thing but experience is another.

There is humour also in the post-op. forum - I've had a fair few laughs, and that is a good medicine, too.

Chances are you will actually visit the post-op. forum later. But pre-op., it's better avoided for many! .
Unread 01-13-2012, 06:20 AM
Re: Do NOT buy all the doom and gloom

Balancedidjit it concerns me that you are so full of knowledge about how to cope post op when you had not been through the surgery. I also feel you are a little presumptuous in saying the ladies that did not have complications are simply out there living.

I am pretty sure that even the ladies that are having a bit of a struggle are still living and like someone else said on here, other sisters are helping them to do just that.

I did go through a bit of a stage where I stayed away from post op forums as I did find it a it overwhelming, however once I had been through the surgery, those forums have been a god send.

I am going to make a presumption here myself and presume you meant no harm, however I think in future you should choose your words more wisely and not add negativity to women who are already feeling down.

I do hope your recovery is smooth, however remember that if it isn't, we will be here to support you through it. Even if you feel DOOM and GLOOM.

Btw..... I am a sister that has had a very good recovery so far and I seem to be living AND contributing to others here as they have for me. That's what communities do for each other

Wishing you well
Unread 01-13-2012, 09:27 AM
Re: Do NOT buy all the doom and gloom

All I really know how to respond is, really?

I've been on this site every day before and after my surgery to try to HELP any ladies that are scared or are about to do something to cause themselves problems.

This site has helped me tremendously even though my doc told me almost everything I needed to know before surgery.

Yes, there are women who have issues and that's the point of the post op thread. There are MANY threads in there detailing how great and complication free their surgery's have been.

We are all here to support each other through the good AND bumpy times.
Unread 01-13-2012, 09:47 AM
Re: Do NOT buy all the doom and gloom

I would like to add, that of all the sites out there discussing hysterectomy and it's possible outcomes, HysterSisters is by far the most positive experience I've had.

I've never experienced 'gloom and doom' here. I have experienced hope, encouragement, positive energy and support. And a great deal of humor. We may have had surgery, but we didn't lose our sense of humor or appreciation for irony. I've had my share of belly laughs here and - darn it - I didn't always have a pillow handy to hold the tummy.
Unread 01-13-2012, 10:37 AM
Re: Do NOT buy all the doom and gloom

I didn’t take offense to her post. I thought she was trying to be encouraging.

After leaving my gyn’s office and deciding to go forward with a TAH, I came home and started googling ‘hysterectomy.’ I had left her office 110% sure that this was the right thing for me. I was aghast to read all the negative stuff about hysterectomies. If I had a dollar for every post (not on hystersisters) that started with ‘I keep reading about all the horror stories…” I would retire tomorrow. Apparently, there are many people and organizations out there that feel that hysterectomies are unnecessary and lead to a diminished quality of life. I ended up going from very sure to very scared within hours.

Hystersisters is one of the few oases out there. The information and support on this website is phenomenal. Having said that it can still be scary to read when one of our sisters had major complications because deep down we all know it could happen to us. I tried very hard to focus on all the positive stories out there (and there are many) as well as seek out data in the medical journals. It was really the medical studies and hystersisters that convinced me that it is A-okay to have a hysterectomy and the vast majority of women have very positive outcomes. Even when things go awry, there are usually ways of fixing those problems.

I took her post as a way of encouraging other women to look past the negative stuff and keep a positive attitude. My heart aches for those who ended up with less than desirable outcomes and I in no way blame them for those outcomes. I understand the pain and anxiety they must be feeling and the need to connect with others in an attempt to seek solutions and alleviate that feeling of aloneness. On the other hand, we need to know that long-term complications are rare and most women who have had hysterectomies are pleased with their outcome even when it takes them a long time to recover.

To the OP - hope your surgery goes well and you have an uneventful recovery.
Unread 01-13-2012, 10:55 AM
Re: Do NOT buy all the doom and gloom

Thanks Debbie for that post - that explains very much the way I took the original post - as one of encouragement, hang in there despite the 'bad' stories, don't dwell on the negatives, it's not all bad, etc.
Unread 01-13-2012, 10:58 AM
Do NOT buy all the doom and gloom

Originally Posted by Della Street View Post
Thanks Debbie for that post - that explains very much the way I took the original post - as one of encouragement, hang in there despite the 'bad' stories, don't dwell on the negatives, it's not all bad, etc.
I agree too. My mind likes to go to worst case scenario, and it was good to remember to not focus on all the terrible "what ifs". Today I'm trying to stay positive, focus on what's at hand, and breath (I've been holding my breath - its an anxiety thing).

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