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Feeling overwhelmed, sad, frustrated Feeling overwhelmed, sad, frustrated

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Unread 01-12-2012, 06:02 PM
Feeling overwhelmed, sad, frustrated

sigh...I have a 10 year history of no periods or very light spotting...wasn't broke - didn't miss them - didn't see gyn for 5-6 years. Sept I had crazy heavy bleeding that after 48 hours I started to get scared. Biopsy done concerning for hyperplasia with atypia. 2 additional opinions and I was scheduled for davinci hyster 12/16. my choice I was terrified of uterine cancer, had no plans for children, and the thought of repeat biopsies in 90 days sounded dreadful.

So I feel like I jumped into this hysterectomy without alot of research or questions when you hear "cancer" and yes one very young and over-zealous doc went there; I just wanted it out.

So now I am feeling overwhelmed at how tired I feel. How I feel like I should be back to my normal self. And my pathology was normal. I should be grateful for that I know....but it makes it seem even more like I made a hasty and wrong decision. Like I said I had no pain, no periods...one crazy bleeding incident in September. My pathology showed adenomyosis but again doesn't fit because I had NO periods. I guess I feel misled that I was told dVH "average recovery SIX days"...told I had a pathology that could progress to cancer...that was normal...and by noon I am exhausted! I am normally a person who runs 100 miles an hour, full-steam ahead, multi-tasking...now I'm lucky if I shower.

Wish I would have found your site this fall.
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Unread 01-12-2012, 06:32 PM
Re: Feeling overwhelmed, sad, frustrated

I was post menopause and hadn't been to the gyn in many years either. I had a little spotting about a year ago but didn't worry much about it but then I had some unrelated problems in May and ended up with a D&C that showed cancer. I think if there is a question of cancer we will do what we need to do to get rid of it, so if you thought there was a chance of cancer you did the right thing. Hope you start feeling better soon, you are still pretty early in your recovery. Keep us up to date!
Unread 01-12-2012, 06:36 PM
Re: Feeling overwhelmed, sad, frustrated

I am so sorry that you felt rushed into this decision, but now that you are one of the gang, you need to know that without any major complications, we are about 40% healed at six weeks, 80% at six months and it takes a full year for us to get back to 100%. So it is going to take some time to heal internally even though on the outside you may look completely healed. I am sending you healing in the hope it makes you feel a tad better.
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Unread 01-12-2012, 06:48 PM
Re: Feeling overwhelmed, sad, frustrated

Why does the crazy "you and your hysterectomy" brochure even say 6 days??!! I am 39, 3 kids and just thought I'd be back and running by now. Fortunately I am off for 2 more weeks. Today I did dishes, cleaned up kitchen and a little laundry; by noon back on the couch and haven't moved much since then. Sore and tired. Family is great but I feel a little pressure that this recovery is getting "old" and I should be done "resting". And just had my follow up exam. Doc said 2 more weeks of healing based on my pelvic exam. I feel like the craziness of Christmas kept me from focusing on the enormity of the surgery I had done. Just miss the old me and cannot wait to feel "good" again. Feeling a little hopeless tonight. My superhero cape and invincibility is in shreds.
Unread 01-12-2012, 08:54 PM
Re: Feeling overwhelmed, sad, frustrated

It is amazing how simple the surgeons make recovery sound. They have no idea and just brush it off as though it is nothing. With 3 kids to look after, it us no wonder you are finding it hard. I know it is hard to give up your usual capable self - I found it really hard, but try and focus on your current task being recovery from surgery.
Unread 01-12-2012, 09:07 PM
Re: Feeling overwhelmed, sad, frustrated

hyster4me, I just wanted to say that I'm one of the few (it seems like from reading on the boards) who was similar to you. I can honestly say that I rarely complained about my periods, and felt foolish to do so, as I was one who pretty much always had a 3-4 day period, mostly light except for one heavy day as I got into my late thirties. I'm turning 43 this month.

I have been someone who has been prone to things growing that don't belong - had a grapefruit sized ovarian fibrous cyst at 24 yrs old that was removed abdominally. Then, two and a half years ago doctor found a 2 cm fibroid on my uterus that she said "we'll just follow for now". I missed one yearly check up and went back this summer knowing the thing had grown - in fact it had grown to 8cm. GYN said that in addition to that one large fibroid there were smaller ones growing. I made the decision to just have the hysterectomy. I didn't do a bunch of research either, beforehand. Which is ODD for me. I have been surprised to see how many people with DaV or LAH are having the same recovery as me, pretty much, and sometimes more pain. I wish that doctors would be upfront with everyone about the fact that it could be 8 weeks - or longer - before you are feeling yourself. Having an abdominal surgery, my doc did say it will be 8+ weeks until you're feeling like yourself.

I'm glad I did - I had everything removed except the left ovary that had had the fibrous cyst removed back in my 20's. It still looked good. Everything else was lumpy and bumpy and full of cysts or fibroids. I'm not sure how I didn't have a lot of pain from it all? I haven't seen my pathology report yet as I don't have a follow up until 6 weeks (Jan 25th).

Big hugs, take care of you. You'll be back up to speed before long!
Unread 01-12-2012, 09:17 PM
Re: Feeling overwhelmed, sad, frustrated

I am so right there with you! When I saw my doctor three weeks after the hysterectomy, I was in tears because I couldn't believe how tired I am all the time. Even taking a shower wears me out--what the heck?! I was supposed to go back to work at four weeks, but my doctor and my boss both supported me taking an additional two weeks off. Today is the FIRST day that I didn't take a long nap in the afternoon. Don't make yourself crazy second guessing your decision to have a hysterectomy. No benefit there...Just hold onto the knowledge that you WILL FEEL BETTER soon. I am so glad for this website, because it lets me know that it really is normal to feel so tired and out of energy for weeks after the surgery.
Unread 01-13-2012, 08:41 AM
Re: Feeling overwhelmed, sad, frustrated

Wow thanks for the kind words and the time taken to reply. Helps to not feel so alone. Also needed the reminder that no good comes from second guessing choices. Feeling much better this morning!
Unread 01-13-2012, 09:01 AM
Re: Feeling overwhelmed, sad, frustrated

It's so annoying when doctors promote the less invasive surgeries as 'easier'. I'm sorry your doctor - and the brochure - made such outrageous promises.

BUT - it does get better. At almost 9 weeks, I still have the occasional day where I want an afternoon nap - and sometimes I don't get a choice! I don't recommend falling asleep on the keyboard - it leaves a bad impression.
Unread 01-13-2012, 10:15 AM
Re: Feeling overwhelmed, sad, frustrated

I hear ya! My doctor told me a two week recovery from the davinci - right! Maybe my incisions will be almost healed! My story is very similar to yours - suspected cancer and (thankfully) clear pathology report. I had adenomyosis and two little spots of endometrioses and I think that is what accounted for my pain. But my ovaries were fine and they were removed on the suspicion of cancer. I researched the @#*! out of it and it helps me to remember why I made the decision to go through with the surgery - I simply was not willing to take the risk. Wishing you peace with your decision and a smooth recovery.

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