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Want to cancel surgery that's scheduled 1/16/12! Want to cancel surgery that's scheduled 1/16/12!

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  #1  
Unread 01-12-2012, 07:30 PM
Want to cancel surgery that's scheduled 1/16/12!

I actually called my gyne office today and told her nurse that I am going to cancel my surgery which is scheduled for this monday. I've done all the pre-op testing, and I've made arrangements with my employer. But today, I had an emotional breakdown. I am 40yrs old, married for 12 years, and never had any children. I have a huge fibroid, the size of a 5 month fetus I am told, as well as several other fibroids. My period is so heavy that I have to wear depends! I just found out that I was severely anemic last month, my hemoglobin was 5 and ladies you know the norm is 12! I had to have a blood transfusion(4 units) and now I'm getting weekly iron infusions. My gyne said that the fibroids have taken over my uterus and there isn't any good uteran tissue left. I can't do the ufe b/c of the size of the fibroids. I don't know what to do. I have cried a river today because as bad as I just want to act like these fibroids are not here, the HEAVY HEAVY bleeding is a constant reminder. The fact that I am now anemic is even scarier. Furthermore, she said that the fibroid is pressing against my uretha's? I can't even lay on my stomach now. If I lay on my back, you can actually see it protruding from my belly. If I had children, maybe this would not be so hard for me. But now that I am down to the wire and have less than 4 days, I don't want to go through with it. It seems I have no other options at this point. Did you experience this?
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  #2  
Unread 01-12-2012, 07:42 PM
Re: Want to cancel surgery that's scheduled 1/16/12!

HUGS for you. Now, take a deep breath, everything is going to be okay.

You are going through so much. It is completely normal to feel very emotional about having a hysterectomy. Please lean on the girls here. We have been there.

Before canceling please take the time to evaluate where you are. Maybe you really don't feel ready. Are you prepared to continue as you have been? Your health is worth the journey. Talk to your Dr about your anxiety. They can help you.
  #3  
Unread 01-12-2012, 07:48 PM
Re: Want to cancel surgery that's scheduled 1/16/12!

Thanks Beth. No I don't feel ready and I realize that I can't keep ignoring the health issues either. This is not easy for me...
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  #4  
Unread 01-12-2012, 08:53 PM
Re: Want to cancel surgery that's scheduled 1/16/12!

I understand how you feel. This is a huge decision and you can't change your mind once it's done. It was the hardest thing I've ever gone through and I still find it hard to believe that I actually did it. For you to be at this point, just a couple days from surgery, you have been through a lot. Your health is very important and it's also important to the people who love you. If you're really not ready, please call your doctor in the morning and discuss this. It is ultimately your decision, your body and you are the one to go through this.
  #5  
Unread 01-12-2012, 08:58 PM
Re: Want to cancel surgery that's scheduled 1/16/12!

I completely understand. I am a very active person and for various reason life got put on hold starting with an accident in July. That is when I actually found out about the issues that have led to two surgeries within 9 weeks. I knew something was wrong, but wrapping my head around a hysterectomy was a process.

Now that I am on the other side of the surgery, I am really looking forward to getting back to living life fully. No more planning life around when my period. No more panicking at work if I can't get away from the front desk before a I leak. No more surprise gushes to ruin a day, panties, lunch, etc. No more needing to know where evry bathroom is in every store I visit, just in case.

Try to look at what you are getting back after surgery. Maybe that will help.

More HUGS from me.
  #6  
Unread 01-12-2012, 09:15 PM
Re: Want to cancel surgery that's scheduled 1/16/12!

I completely understand. I had an appt with my ob in the beginning of December, I called and cancelled it. I got worried I was moving to fast.... then after chilling out and realizing I needed this, I re scheduled. I am not set for Jan 24th... and wish I didnt have to wait Life on the other side is so much better.... I will see you there if you go through with it
  #7  
Unread 01-12-2012, 10:09 PM
Re: Want to cancel surgery that's scheduled 1/16/12!

I felt the same way, but I also knew that I couldn't let my issues continue.

I was shaking sitting in pre-op. The nurse asked if I was okay, I told him"physically I am ready for this but mentally there is a little guy running around in my head with his butt on fire flailing his arms and screaming 'ARRRRGGGGG'" and the nurse told "no worries we plan on chemically restraining that guy." It was true, once the versed hit, I felt great.

I had my surgery just over a week ago and while I have had a few moments of pain, mostly it has been far less then I expected. I think I made it so much worse in my head. I am looking at things this way, I could have gone on for a few more years with my bleeding and cramping, or I can get through the surgery and recovery and move on back to life. Life as a princess isn't so bad :-)
  #8  
Unread 01-12-2012, 10:35 PM
Re: Want to cancel surgery that's scheduled 1/16/12!

Hang in there, the waiting is the hardest part. I too, had huge fibroids that affected my life. Now on the other side of surgery, I can't believe how good I feel. I'm still resting but getting stronger every day. I had terrible pressure like you and could see my uterus when I laid down. I never thought about using Depends. I would have to stay up late to change my pad so I wouldn't make a mess. Anemia and 2 week periods suck. You can do this, I was terrified and it was worse in my head then the actual surgery and recovery. Keep reading all these posts and talk to us. Were all her for you! I wrote about my experience if you want to read it. It's titled "My story!! And its a good one!!! You can find it under my name. Good luck and a big cyber hug to you!
  #9  
Unread 01-12-2012, 10:36 PM
Re: Want to cancel surgery that's scheduled 1/16/12!

I completely understand, I am 42, never had kids and put off the hysterectomy for 12 years. The last few years I began looking more and more pregnant, so I decided to quit running from the doctor and after 3 years went in December. I cried, I rationalized, I told myself really only the size is the problem I can handle a couple of days bad bleeding. Doctor scheduled MRI, I saw it and knew this thing had to go. My surgery was the 5th and it was the smartest thing I could have done. My uterus was so large and bad they photographed it. I had other surgeons coming into my room to see the girl with the crazy fibroids. Luckily everything was benign, I was able to keep ovaries my uterus and tumor weighed in at 9 pounds and I no longer look 9 mos pregnant. So I understand your fear and your rationalization but even with the pain, its better on the other side. Good luck, prayers and hugs. I completely OCD researched this site and it has been a blessing pre and post op. hugs to you
  #10  
Unread 01-12-2012, 11:02 PM
Re: Want to cancel surgery that's scheduled 1/16/12!

kenyer2,

I'm 47 and have no biological children - and not for lack of trying. I put off hysterectomy for many years. My doctor monitored all my problems until I finally came to the conclusion that my uterus was controlling my life and I was no longer willing to live that way. When I scheduled my hyster, I looked forward to it like a child looks forward to Christmas - I was giddy with anticipation.

You are not.

Maybe you're not ready yet. If you and your doctor think you can manage your life as you are currently living it, then perhaps it's better to wait until you are emotionally ready.

Try and set emotion aside and ask yourself:
How likely it is that you will have children at this stage in your life?
How likely is it that you even can become pregnant given the condition of your uterus?
If you were to become pregnant, what are the odds of carrying a fetus to term - given the condition of your uterus?
If pregnancy is unlikely or impossible, why do you want to hang on to an organ that is doing you no favors?
Can you imagine a life without your debilitating condition? Would it be better or worse?

I know how hard this is - I've been there. This is a decision only you can make and I wish you all the best no matter what you decide.
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