Scheduled dVH/RALH 5 days pre-op, worried, scared, need to vent | HysterSisters
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5 days pre-op, worried, scared, need to vent 5 days pre-op, worried, scared, need to vent

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  #1  
Unread 01-14-2012, 03:08 AM
5 days pre-op, worried, scared, need to vent

I just can't sleep at night, I do not want to be doing this, but feel it is the best option given my circumstances (menopause 6 years ago, bleeding in June, biopsy+D&C in November: complex hyperplasia with atypia) I just hope and pray that I do not have cancer, and that I can recover and be in as good shape or better than I am now. I started bleeding again this week, really scarey not knowing what that means, wondering if "something" has grown back in my uterus after they scraped it all out in Nov?!?

My pre-op appointment is Monday, my surgery is Thursday. I am okay during the day when I am busy, but at night I cannot sleep well for worrying. I did decide to have my sweetie come be with me the day of my surgery (in addition to my sister). I've done what I can to get my place ready for me to recover, bought granny panties, bathroom aids, grabber gizmo, lots of juice, including prune juice! for the pantry...

just wish that there was not so much unknown ahead. It kinda freaks me out to not know for sure if I will be able to have the DaVinci, or will end up with the other kind due to unknown problems. Don't know how I will be able to sleep, I usually sleep on my side, not on my back. I worry about complications, about if I will still want sex afterwards, about how I will survive without any income for three months, and I worry that I have cancer... Really I am a total worry-wart right now.

I need the surgery to make sure that there is not cancer growing in my uterus. Since I am 57 and years past menopause, the oncologist/gyno is also taking my ovaries. I am just so scared that my life will all be downhill from here. This is not the usual way that I am, I am usually really positive and upbeat. But seriously, if one more person tells me "I am sure you will be okay" I think I might smack them - there is NO way that you can be certain, you can hope, you can pray, but none of us know the future.

Sorry to be so long winded, but I just need to let this out so I do not explode. I am hopeful, I believe that I have a good gyno/oncology surgeon, and I am wishing and praying for a good outcome, but I cannot shake the feeling that the worst is yet to come...
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  #2  
Unread 01-14-2012, 05:24 PM
Re: 5 days pre-op, worried, scared, need to vent

I felt much the same pre-surgery. I'm 44, was pre-menopausal, 11 days post dVC/RALH BSO. One thing that I think helped me in the weeks and days leading up to my surgery was to download some relaxation and pre-surgery tracks from itunes. They helped my turn my mind off for a bit and also reclaim some control over the entire process. Best wishes for a smooth surgery and easy recovery. Please keep us posted on your progress!
  #3  
Unread 01-14-2012, 06:17 PM
Re: 5 days pre-op, worried, scared, need to vent

I can totally understand your frustration. Sometimes you get so in your head you just can't find a way out. I think that you will feel much better after your appointment with your doctor. Write down all of your worries and questions and take them with you to ask your doctor. Make sure to get all of the answers you need to feel better before you leave. You will need all of your strength...mental and physical after the surgery to heal properly. Sleep is very important and you need to make sure you are getting it. There are many things to try....melatonin, otc sleep aids (usually contain 25mg of diphenhydramine, the same as benadryl and usually acetaminophen...so if you have benadryl in the house you can take that) and prescription sleep aids like Ambien (generic and fairly inexpensive). Ask your doctor what would be the best for you at your visit.

I know that there is never any guarantee with any surgery, but it seems as if this site may be very helpful for you. I am scheduled for March 14th and have had many of the same feeling that you have had. I've had candid conversations with my doctor and every person I know that has had a hysterectomy. I urge you to do the same. The one thing that I would think is that since you are past menopause, you shouldn't feel hormonally any different without your ovaries. It's possible that you will feel better, not having to worry all of the time what is happening inside your uterus. In the mean time, take care of yourself physically and try to get some sleep! Keep us posted!
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  #4  
Unread 01-15-2012, 12:14 AM
Re: 5 days pre-op, worried, scared, need to vent

I was also worried before surgery, could not sleep, could not think straight, not eating... almost not breating. I went into surgery a wreck and it was the worst thing I could do to myself, you need all the strenght you got to recover fast. Sooner or later the surgery will come and, be happy, the sooner it comes, the sooner you can put it behind you. And, like that, you will be here at midnight, post-op, lifting spirits to another newbie. Try to relax, eat well, stretch. Prepare lots of pillows, buy Metamucil (prune juice is OK for medium constipation) and Gas-x. They will prescribe Colace which will also help. I too am a side sleeper, but not able to for the first few days. After that I would just put a pillow in between my knees and a soft one against my belly and was OK. Get mani, pedi, hair done. And don't forget the pet pillow. Best wishes !
  #5  
Unread 01-15-2012, 01:01 AM
Re: 5 days pre-op, worried, scared, need to vent

I was a mess before surgery too. Perhaps ask your doctor for something to help you sleep these last few nights pre op. Unfortunately most of us go into this surgery with a lot of unknowns. I knew my surgeon would try to do a TVH but it may turn into a TAH. I knew he'd try to keep my ovaries but he'd take them if they looked bad. He said my pain was from adenomyosis but he couldn't confirm that until the uterus was removed. I expected one night in hospital but stayed for two... The list goes on. At some point we have to take a deep breath, and have faith in trust in God and our surgeon. Trust that we're making the best decision we can at the time and believe that all will go well. You can do this. And you will be okay :-)
  #6  
Unread 01-15-2012, 03:38 PM
Re: 5 days pre-op, worried, scared, need to vent

I understand your concerns. I was a nervous wreck and it became the only thing I could think about. If it wasn't for this site, I would have totally lost my mind. Hang in there and think about how much better you will feel after you fully recover!
  #7  
Unread 01-16-2012, 01:11 AM
Re: 5 days pre-op, worried, scared, need to vent

I do feel like this is the necessary choice for me, rationally I understand, but still struggle with my feelings. I have great confidence in my doctor, which helps, and am fortunate to have gotten on Admin. Note: name of health plan removed per website TOS. all this happened, or it would have been a lot worse trying to deal with no insurance at all!

I have started telling myself that this is the path I must take, that by this time next week I should know a lot more, know what is causing the scary symptoms, know if I have cancer (fingers crossed that this surgery is all I need) and know that I will be on the way to recovering my health and strength. Maybe I will be lucky and have an uneventful recovery.

My dear friend Rois started up a thing with my friends to have them all send me a bead with their love and good wishes, so I can have a necklace as a symbol, to take with me. There have been beads arriving here at my house, and messages from friends, which is also helping me.

I have started getting over being so immobilised about getting ready for this, and the guest bedroom/sewing room where my little sister will be staying is finally starting to get cleaned up. It is as if part of me thought that if I did not get ready then the surgery would not happen (yeah right!) Well, there are only a few days left, so lots to do around here still to get ready.

I hope to make a play list for the old iPod a friend gave me (her DH gave her a new one for Christmas), figure that having some of my favorite music will be a big help too. Now I have to figure out how to get the tunes from my computer into the little gizmo, but that will be a good distraction

I am so grateful for this site, and for all who reply to me, it is a comfort to me to know that there are others who are walking this same path
  #8  
Unread 01-16-2012, 01:40 AM
Re: 5 days pre-op, worried, scared, need to vent

Please try to not stress yourself about this. I also did not want to have it done, put it off for over a year in fact. Right up until the last second, I was scared out of my mind. I tried putting it in God's hands but obvhiously failed at that. Why do I say these things? Because I want you to know its okay to feel the way you are feeling. But honestly, you need to focus on the end result. Youwill feel so much better afterwards. Its going to give you some peace of mind to not have that cancer possibility hanging over your head. Listen to us women on this website...yes, some have had some complications but for the most part- we are doing so much better than before the surgery. If you end up getting davinci, I'm here to tell you it will be like a miracle. Drink some wine or hot tea or any of the other suggestions people have made but make sure you get some rest. I'm glad you are confident in your surgeon...that is huge. Try to relax, take some.deep breaths, and know that we are all here for you if you need it
Good luck with your surgery and recovery! Ill be thinking about you and praying for you
.
  #9  
Unread 01-16-2012, 06:59 AM
Re: 5 days pre-op, worried, scared, need to vent

I think about every major event in my life... good or bad... and each one of them caused me to "what if?"... Had I allowed "what if" to get the best of me, I wouldnt have started a business, bought a house, gotten married or had children.
Sometimes we just have to move forward with faith, understanding that with change comes personal growth. The outcome of any circumstance may not be exactly how you wanted it, but you always come away having a personal insight that may help someone else and help you to realize you are stronger than you know.
  #10  
Unread 01-16-2012, 07:35 AM
Re: 5 days pre-op, worried, scared, need to vent

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Gardenangels View Post
I think about every major event in my life... good or bad... and each one of them caused me to "what if?"... Had I allowed "what if" to get the best of me, I wouldnt have started a business, bought a house, gotten married or had children.
Sometimes we just have to move forward with faith, understanding that with change comes personal growth. The outcome of any circumstance may not be exactly how you wanted it, but you always come away having a personal insight that may help someone else and help you to realize you are stronger than you know.
Nicely said!
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