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New To Group and Terrified New To Group and Terrified

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Unread 01-19-2012, 07:14 PM
New To Group and Terrified

Hi all,

I am 52 and just found out yesterday that I have to have a hysterectomy and cannot do it vaginally due to my narrow pelvis and small pubic arch. I had two C-Sections when I was in my twenties, and the second one was horrific pain. I recall feeling as if I had been hit by a car. I remember a terrible first night in the hospital when my son was born. It was the middle of the night and my roommate was making noises. I woke up and tried to move and could not move a muscle from the pain. It was a horrible time and I've never forgotten how bad I felt and how surprised I was that I felt so bad since my first c-section didn't seem to be that painful.

Now I am scared to death to go through this surgery. I am having panic attacks and have 5 weeks to think about it. I am so sad about losing the place my two children knew as home. I feel it is a very personal part of me. I feel as if I am losing part of being a girl.

At this point the anxiety is truly imobilizing. I asked my doctor's office if other people experienced so much anxiety and she said "not usually". She kind of blew me off actually. I am frightened not only of the surgery, but the recovery sounds long and painful too. I looked at the videos on this website and they kept saying, "rest," "you will feel tired just walking down the hall in your house, going to the bathroom." THis truly scares me.

Please know I am thankful for any and all words of wisdom.

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Unread 01-19-2012, 07:27 PM
Re: New To Group and Terrified

Welcome!!! you have came to the right place, I am 25 and my hysterectomy is Tue... I couldn't have came this far without my hystersisters! Have you asked your physician if you can have it done by DaVinci?!? I had two c-sections, and they are doing mine VIA the Da Vinci method. It is much less invasive. You'll do great, and learn soooo much.
With this method I will be on bed rest for the first few days, small amounts of exercise after that, at two weeks I can work.... just lifting is still at 10 pounds, sometimes under. Hope this helps... I have done a tone of studying on it so if you have questions post them in this thread so any of us can answer them, and anyone wondering the same things can also get answers
Unread 01-19-2012, 07:33 PM
Re: New To Group and Terrified

Hi GiGi, welcome to Hystersisters. First of all I am truly sorry that you are going through this. I know exactly how you feel. The uterus is a very personal and private spot. I am still grieving the loss of my uterus. Don't let anyone tell you how you should feel about this surgery. Your feelings are your own and you have every right to them. A lot of women are fine with having a hysterectomy and look at the uterus as just another organ and if they're not using it anymore then why keep it? I did not feel like this. It was like they were taking part of my soul, my womanhood. I was worried I would feel different, that people would be able to tell by looking at me. I couldn't even discuss it with my doctor without weeping. You may consider a second opinion just to be certain you have no other options. It sounds to me like your pain wasn't managed properly after your c section. Trust me your pain will be managed well after your hysterectomy. There was pain, but it wasn't as bad as I thought. The recovery can be long however so you need to prepare for that. Please post all your questions. We are here to support you. Feel free to send me a private message if you need a support buddy.
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Unread 01-19-2012, 07:33 PM
Re: New To Group and Terrified

I don't know what the Da Vinci method is. I don't think my doctor does this. He said I had to have it done this way because of my size. Does the DaVinci method take it out through the vagina?
Unread 01-19-2012, 07:48 PM
Re: New To Group and Terrified

Hi Gigi25

I'm sorry you're having a rough time with this. With stuff this big, the only way to handle is one step at a time.

I remember feeling the same way about losing the first home my children knew. I tried to shift my thinking to "my children grew beneath my heart" rather than "they grew in my uterus."

The recovery from the surgery can be challenging--but it isn't hard all the time. There really is no way of knowing how you will do. Some women find that this surgery is easier than a c-section.

Have you talked with your primary doctor about your anxiety? Perhaps an anti-anxiety medication would help you take some big deep mental breaths to get to the point where you can process this more easily.

Meanwhile, we are all here for you. We don't all feel the exact same way, but we can give plenty of hugs and hold your hand along the way.

Hang in there!

Unread 01-19-2012, 09:58 PM
Re: New To Group and Terrified

Originally Posted by GiGi25 View Post
I looked at the videos on this website and they kept saying, "rest," "you will feel tired just walking down the hall in your house, going to the bathroom." THis truly scares me.
Well, being THAT tired is simply not true for everyone, so don't anticipate it unnecessarily!

I had a TAH/BSO (all organs + cervix out, that is) with a vertical incision, and my pain was well controlled. Also I walked up and down the hospital corridors at quite a good pace from day 2 or so (I was there 5 days for a TAH - the norm over here). I'd have gone further afield if I could.
When I got home I walked every day - a few lamp posts down the street and gradually increasing it.
I was a little bit light-headed for a day or so after my walks, but was able to potter around and get some meals (I live alone).
Needed help with housework, lawn mowing and the like for a few weeks, but was nowhere near as tired as the person quoted above. I slept really well and rested on my bed when I was not mooching around or walking. Walking really helps the recovery as long as it is done in moderation. In fact, you really do have to be careful what you do for the first few weeks.

It was not a painless recovery, and it took a long time to feel really "normal", but you have to remember that everyone's experience is different and it IS major surgery.
You may do a LOT better than you fear, so try not to worry, and take it a day at a time!
I feel fantastic now and it was worth all the days that were not so great!
Unread 01-20-2012, 09:51 AM
Re: New To Group and Terrified

Da vinci is a robotic assisted surgery, that allows the doctor to do a hysterectomy through a few small incisions on the stomach... it is a lot like the lap. way... only a bit less invasive. You should ask about it, maybe your doctor can point you to someone who does.
Unread 01-20-2012, 04:37 PM
Re: New To Group and Terrified

Hi.lm having my gallbladder out on fri the 27. Than on feb 9. Im having total hystetectomy with a l am a bit s arex but am hoping all goes well.wish me luck.anybody have any advice for me .muchly appreciated .Thanks ladies. P. S. Im 46 turning 47 while recuperating!!
Unread 01-20-2012, 04:39 PM
Re: New To Group and Terrified

Scared.sorry for spelling mistakes
Unread 01-20-2012, 04:51 PM
Re: New To Group and Terrified

I have to echo what Acey said. I had a complete abdominal hysterectomy, and was really scared about how I would cope with the pain. Well, modern pain management is pretty amazing, and so I was never more than really uncomfortable, and that only lasted for the first couple of days. I was able to stop all narcotics in less than 48 hours, and left the hospital using only Tylenol and Advil, which kept me comfortable.

It's been 7 and a half weeks, and I am still tender, but any pain I have had as been more than manageable and is usually a sign that I've done too much. Like Acey said, we all have our individual experiences, but I just want you to know that there are lots of "good" experiences, too.

The problem with anxiety is that we react to every possible scenario that we can imagine. Please believe me when I say this - you will cope with whatever happens, and it won't be nearly as bad as all of the things you are currently experiencing. I say this because I did exactly the same thing - I panicked about all of the "what ifs", and the reality was totally manageable.

Take care. Hugs to you!

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